I can’t really remember where I was up to with my posts regarding internet dating ... I guess I should read back through ... second thoughts ... nah, can’t be bothered.
So, a month or so ago, when I was getting over my anaemia, I kinda came over with all this energy and thought “oooooo I’m gonna have a proper go at this dating thing this time!” even without any nudging from Mehreen! So I decided to start by having a really good trawl through the men on the dating site and send as many winks as I could muster. I also decided to finally reply to some of the many messages I’d had ... well, the ‘cleaner’ ones that had been sent by people who, on the surface, didn’t look to be complete psycho freaks!
So ... where shall I start ... hmmmmmmm let’s start with ‘Yoga Bloke’. He was a rather yummy looking guy who included a picture of himself doing a head stand in a pair of skimpy shorts and he was topless ... well that caught Mehreen’s and my attention (OK, so we’re fickle!), he had a very fine torso even though I say so myself! So I sent him a message ... after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing he asked from my number, which I sent ... that was the last I heard from him! Mehreen and I agreed that he was one of those who love the chase and stop when he gets the number, or he’s married and panicked or both!
Then there was ‘Scouse Man’. In his profile, he said he had his own business and he seemed quite articulate (ie he could spell and use punctuation in the right places, including capital letters at the start of a sentence ... quite a rarity in the dating email world!). We emailed a few times and he sounded quite nice, so again, when he asked me for my number, I gave it to him. By the way, I’ve found the best time for me to speak to these guys is when I’m in the car. That way, I’m in control (yep as I’ve said, I’m a control freak) and I have to do it ... I can’t find something else to do and I’m not waiting round for them to call.
So I was travelling down to Milton Keynes to get my eyebrows tatoo’d (that’s another story altogether and I will post it in the next few days) when he called me. To say he had a Scouse (Liverpool) accent doesn’t do it justice ... now, don’t get me wrong, my whole family, both sides are from Liverpool and the majority have ‘accents’ ... and I do myself when I’m with family, however, this guy’s was so thicccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk ‘la’ I could hardly understand him (my dad would go berserk if I introduced someone like that to him!) ... less than articulate just doesn’t cover it! In fact, some of my friends have very young children and have a much better grasp of the English language than he did!
What made things even worse was it quickly became apparent that he didn’t actually own the business, as he’d said in his profile and in his email, he just worked there (I wondered why he said he needed to speak to me at lunch time ... turns out, it was cos he wasn’t allowed to use his mobile in work and he had to leave the office to speak to me and he could only do that at lunch time ... definitely not a business owner!) and had spent most of his working life, “on da tools la” (honestly, I kid you not ... that’s what he said!) fixing fridges. Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with fixing fridges, just don’t lie about it!!!!!
... So after about 5 minutes of being called ‘La’ and ‘Gerl’, I made the excuse that I needed petrol and I’d text him later. Phew ... that was a close one. About 3 days later, I got a text from him asking if I was free for a chat ... I didn’t reply.
Next there was Mr Millionaire (Oh how we do love naming them all, as you can tell!). On his profile, it didn’t say much about what he did, but he described his best feature as his ‘piercing blue eyes’ ... honest ... I know I keep saying it, but you can’t make it up! This guy had sent me about 10 messages and I hadn’t bothered replying, but with my new ‘gung ho’ stylie, I thought I’d give him a go.
Same thing happened ie emails followed by phone call (when I was in the car of course). We had quite a lovely chat (I thought – although there were quite a few awkward silences – which I babbled to fill), where he told me that he was a multi millionaire and had been living for the last 4 years in St Tropez and that he no longer worked cos he was so rich! Hmmmmmmmmmm don’t quite believe that ... anyway ... we talked for about 40 minutes and we seemed to have quite a bit in common (and no, I don’t just mean a love of Louis Vuitton!) but I never heard from him again! Dunno what I said! Shame though, I thought we'd have been quite nice together ... not just cos he was a millionaire or anything! Lmao
Well, I gotta go right now ... but tomorrow, I’ll tell you about the date I went on with 'Chipmonk' ... Betchya can’t wait! lmao
Until then, be fabulous, lovely people.
Lots of love
Jx
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