So I left my last post having just met the man of my dreams (NOT!). I don’t think I told you his name ... KEN! Says it all ... sorry if I’m offending any Ken’s out there, but I’ve only ever known 3 Kens ... one was my cousins ex husband who’s about 70 and not a very nice person ... at all! Ken Dodd and Ken Barlow!
Anyway, I digress ... we left the other bar and went back upstairs to the bar we were supposed to meet in. It’s always a bit awkward when you meet someone for the first time, let’s face it, even though you may have spoken them, it’s still pretty much a blind date and you’re trying to sus each other out.
When we got upstairs, the waitress showed us to a high, bar type, small square table with high bar stools (well they’d have to be, given that the table was tall! Lol) and we sat next to each other (that was unfortunate as you’ll see later) and we ordered drinks. Then, it began in ernest ...
He was loud, obnoxious and spoke about himself (amongst only a couple of other, rather ugly things) and how wonderful he was, the whole time ... honestly ... the WHOLE time! Oh, and he kept hitting my arm (as I was sitting quite close to him – shame I didn’t sit the other side of the table so he couldn’t have reached me!) and said “eh eh” every time he said something he thought was funny! OMG ... Kill me now!
I’d have got out of there sooner than I did if I could have mustered the strength (I was shattered, a bit punch drunk and ever so slightly disappointed, after the mega long day I’d had and him being such a plank). I remember thinking “How quickly can I get out of here?” In fact, I had quite an internal dialogue going on. I thought, “I can’t go yet” that was after 10 minutes, “But why can’t I go yet? I don’t know him, I don’t owe him anything and I don’t like him!” ... cut a long story short (you really don’t need to know the whole conversation I had with myself), I decided to give it an hour and then I was outta there. Big mistake ... I really should have gone sooner!
So, what did we talk (or should I say, what did HE talk) about?
· He said that most men wouldn’t have bothered with me after I’d postponed our first meeting but that I was lucky because he ‘wasn’t other men’ (asshole)
· How fabulously fit he was (he really wasn’t)
· How he liked a good fight (honestly!)
· How people didn’t like the fact that he was opinionated (wonder why)
· How his ex-wife had taken him to the cleaners (don’t bloody blame her, she deserved a good payment for having to sleep with him and listen to his shite)
· How rich he was (found that hard to believe ... he was wearing pleather for God’s sake)
· How most women who he’d met on the dating site wanted to jump straight into bed with him on the first date and weren’t interested in a relationship (in his dreams)
· And finally ... how most women were bitches, although he was sure that I was different (nice)
That was my cue to exit stage left. When I said it was time for me to leave, he got really quite pissed off and said he couldn’t understand why, because we’d only just got there, we were getting on so well and he thought we were going to “make a night of it” – don’t ask me what he meant by that ... I shudder to think.
He said, “So because you’re making a quick exit, you obviously don’t like me and don’t want to see me again!” ... OK, now, if I’d met him in the afternoon (Rule No 1) I’d have said “Correct”. However, as I had to walk a few dark streets away (breaking Rules No 4/5) I decided not to piss him off further and said “Of course I do! I’m just tired ... it’s been a long week blab la bla” and he said that he’d give me a call in a day or so and we’d arrange to go for a meal ... which I agreed with. Anything to keep him on side ... after all, I didn’t know him from Adam and I’d already broken most of my own Rules!
Well, he walked me to my car ... and when we got there (me practically running, well as much as one can in 6 inches) he hugged me again ... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ... I dived in the car as quickly as I could and locked the door. Phew! I started the engine and was outta there within seconds. About 3 minutes later, I got a text through from him saying that he couldn’t wait to see me again and to go for a ‘lovely meal at ... (I can’t remember the name of the place he said)’. I didn’t reply and haven’t heard from him since! Phew!
So .... I’ve decided to give the dating thing a rest again for a while ... it’s all too much for me!!!! Sets my nerves on edge ... I’m a bloody nervous wreck at the best of times, but this is on a whole other level!
The lessons I learned this time ... to stick to my own Rules ... I made em up for a reason ... Safety First!! Oh, and get them to send a ‘recent’ picture of themselves before I agree to meet them.
More potty stuff soon my lovelies ... including some Top Tips stuff (haven’t done any of them for a while). Until then, as always, be fabulous!
Lots of love
Jx
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