Radical Action Required - More Dating Nightmares!

 

Right well, I told you that I’d changed my profile pictures on the dating site that I’m on, well I have been well and truly inundated by ... exactly the same men that inundated me when I first joined, sending me exactly the same messages as they sent first time round, they have simply looked at the new pictures, not read the profile or my user name and figured I’m new to the site, ergo ‘fair game’. 

How can I can tell that they are exactly the same messages when you know I have such a lousy memory?  Because even if we had both deleted the original message(s), they are automatically attached to any new ones, so the conversation continues ... it’s been hysterical, they just cut and paste their messages, typos an' all (seriously guys, if you're going to use a template, at least get someone to spell check it for you!).  Even men who had decided for whatever reason, that I wasn’t right for them the first time round have sent me messages as if they’ve never contacted me before.  As I’m sure you can imagine I’ve had some fun with those ones!

It really has been quite an experiment and for someone who deals with people, their emotions and their motivations in my day job, it really has been an eye opener and actually quite invaluable in the learning it’s given me.

The biggest learning point (which I really knew anyway, but you don’t like to think is true) men just look at the pictures (well the men on that site anyway – I don’t wish to offend my obviously intelligent male readers) ... and not very closely either!  On the whole they simply do not read the profile, they judge if they find the person attractive and that's enough.  Women on the other hand can fall for someone's personality first and their looks after (good job really as judging by the looks of some of the blokes on this website, the human race would die out really quickly if that were not the case!). 
 
Here are some more examples of the messages I’ve been getting ... they never cease to amaze:

 

1. hello...........how are you? .................hows things going on here?....................x
2. hello...hows you? X
3. Helloo there :-)........ ......... .................. .......................... ....... ... ....... .......... ...... ................... ......
4. Hellooo x you seem lovely a I likked your profile so thort I would say hi x
5. Hiya how are you you Sound ans look lovely my Name is Billy im 46 and i am from Liverpool
6. love the pics there! how is this ,ad site treating you? I think its nuts !ha [I think you’re nuts!]
7. Hello My name is Avgust I come from Slovenia. Can I become first your friend? [Er ... don't think so]
8. This one was a bit different.  From his message, I thought he looked promising, however, when I looked at his profile ... further proof that men don’t read, they just look at the pictures...

Him: Hi , I'm your man !! I match all your wants and I think you look amazing . I'd love to hear from you , I own a successful business employing over 60 people ( no not part time cleaners !) I can't be bothered with endless messaging Simon x

Me:   Hi Simon. Thanks for your message, however, I'm not sure that we're very well suited ... I'm not a fan of the great outdoors, would never dream of camping in a million years and don't like sports ... Sorry!

Him:  Ok ! thanks for replying ! x

So that lot combined with the fact that I talked to someone last week, whom I really liked and got on with like a house on fire (and that’s the first time I’ve ever said that ... honestly) who was supposed to call me on Sunday night and didn’t bother, has lead me to the realisation (finally) that I need to change sites again (I'm not giving up!!!!! God loves a trier).  I’m not sure the next site will be any better, but I truly think I’ve exhausted the pool on the current one.  So this morning I took the bold move of deleting my profile and I’m now scouring the website reviews of other dating sites. 

Oh ... and before I go, I pinched this off my lovely friend Rita's FB page ... sums it up nicely for me!

 

I’ll keep you informed of progress lovelies, it’s always fun when you join a new site ... messages go through the roof.  I’ll make sure that I do it this week, so stay tuned.  Until then, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Mr Oldie But Not Goldie

 

Well, I had yet another date on Saturday morning.  This one happened quite quickly (I like it that way because at least no-one is wasting their time!).  He mailed me on Friday morning – unfortunately, he didn’t have pics because of his job, but he did point me to a picture he had on LinkedIn ... it was tiny and I couldn’t really see it as I didn’t want to click on his profile as he’d then be able to see everything about me ... and well, I didn’t want that!

So I figured he kinda looked OK, 1^st mistake, I should have seen proper pictures and agreed to meet him the next morning at 10.00 am for a coffee.  We arranged all of this without actually speaking, 2^nd mistake, you should always talk to them before you meet them.  I know all this, I don’t know why I don’t stick to it sometimes ... ever the optimist I guess.  However, in my defence, we were only meeting 5 minutes from where I live, we were only having coffee and I could make a quick escape if I needed.

Saturday morning, I tarted myself up, hair all done, makeup perfect, skinny dark True Religion jeans, lil white summer jumper and heels, simple but appropriate for a Saturday morning coffee.  I drove to Starbucks, pulled in to a parking space and saw this old guy hanging around the entrance.  “Can’t be him” I thought.  He was wearing jeans, white checked shirt, Barbour jacket and ... wait for it ... a flat cap and goatee beard (my dad has a beard).  Now, you may be thinking, “ooooh he sounds quite trendy ... that’s all a bit Beckham-esque!” ... Nope ... he was in his 60s, so he just looked like a little old man (turns out he was from Yorkshire too ... all he was short of was the bloody whippet!).

I walked over to the entrance and all my fears came true ... it was him ... humph.  Not only was he also quite short, but he had quite obvious false teeth and the ones that weren’t false were an ugly shade of yellow and dark brown – that’s what really gave his age away ... I don’t think you can disguise your age when your teeth are that nasty, even if you look quite youthful (which he didn’t). FYI in his profile, he said he was 45.  My heart just dropped.

I should know by now just to say, “Thanks but no thanks” but I guess I’ve just been brought up too polite.  We ordered drinks and sat down (me, making sure that I mismatched his body language – I didn’t want this one getting the wrong idea) and let's say that the conversation did not flow ... it was like pulling false teeth.  Now I can talk to anyone, but this guy was so hard to talk to with the added bonus of me not being able to take my eyes of his nasty teeth.

When we sat down, I noticed someone I knew on another table behind Mr Oldie and he gestured to me, “Is that your dad?” me “No!” ... hands waving maniacally, truly horrified!  As if that wasn’t bad enough, it got worse when he told me that he and his wife split up 13 years ago and how proud it was that he’s learned to iron and how he picks his clothes based on the complexity of the ironing required.  ‘Kill me now!’ - he said it like I should be impressed! 

That was the final straw ... after about 30 minutes (longer than normal when I don't like them and I feel uncomfortable, but I while I still had a drink left which is another learning point ... don’t order a large drink just in case you need to make a quick exit) I couldn’t find an excuse to leave.  Finally, I told him I had to get to my friends' and made a hasty retreat without even mentioning a second date.  It was all very awkward – no matter how many dates I have, I hate that bit, at least he didn’t swoop in to try and kiss me on the lips - urgh *shudder*.

When I got home, I got an email from him on the site saying, “Loved meeting you, do you want to do it again?” I really cannot understand how these guys don’t get the vibe ... it’s very odd!  My reply, “Sorry, you’re not the man for me bla bla bla”.

So that’s another one done and dusted.  I have got one more little dating post to do tomorrow, along with telling you about my next steps because a rethink is definitely needed.  Until then lovelies, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Dating Update

Well today I’ve decided to try a new approach on the dating website I’m on, I’ve changed all my profile pics and you’d be amazed how many messages I’ve had including one’s from men who’d rejected me in the past too, so it’s been hysterical.  On the whole, from what I see, they only look at the pictures anyway, so most think I'm new to the site!

Here’s a handful of today’s messages:

1. nice tits [DELETE – BLOCK – NEXT]
2. gud pics – how long u bin here [DELETE – NEXT]
3. hi how are you lovely xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [DELETE – NEXT]
4. hi babe [Seriously?! DELETE- NEXT]
5. hya gorgous how are you babe lovely profile photos kind regards mark   1000% genuine [Kill me now – DELETE - NEXT]
6. Hows u xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx? [‘I’m not brilliant thanks for asking' - DELETE – NEXT]
7. Like your porofile, might be an inch too short for you though. Other wise think we could have a good time. Chris x [Oh you think do you? ... Well I don’t think so – DELETE - NEXT]
8. hello...........how are you? .................hows things going on here?....................x [How original ... he was butt ugly too – DELETE – NEXT]
9. hello hows you doing Im michael [*humph* DELETE - NEXT]

[Can’t stand text speak and a total lack of punctuation ... *shudder*]
 

This from someone who didn’t stopped replying during an email conversation we were having a while back:

Him:     Hi there. How are you? Nearly the weekend! I'm off to London to run the Marathon.... Excited and terrified in equal measures. Have you anything exciting planned for the weekend? Mel

Me:       We've spoken before ... you didn't like me. Good Luck with your run.

Him:     Really. Did I actually say that? I needed to go to specsavers from the looks of it. Ok. X

Him:     Did you have different pictures?  You look fabulous ... I can’t believe what an idiot I was [DELETE – NEXT]

 

I have had two conversations with men this week – the first one sounded lovely until he realised that I lived further away than he thought ... he had originally said that he would come over to me so we could meet (he only lives ½ hour away) but when he realised exactly where I lived, he wanted to meet half way.  When I mentioned it he said, “What if I don’t like you?  Then I would have wasted all that time.  At least if we meet equidistance (!!!!) neither of us has wasted too much time if we don’t like each other - or you could come to me?” Ha yeah right, like that's ever gonna happen! – NEXT!

 

Then yesterday I had another conversation with a lovely man, he made me laugh, he was articulate and tall (bonus)  but when I said that I wanted someone who had a career (because I have one and I find that men that don’t, really don’t get it when I have to work away or work late or when I’m under pressure etc) he thought I was after his money ... the fact I earn at least twice what he does didn’t seem to register - he thought I was a money grabber! Gotta be honest, I was disappointed with that one (for about a minute!) – NEXT!

I do have a coffee date in the morning – haven’t really seen a proper picture of him, so it very well might be a disaster, I’ll let you know tomorrow!

Until then, be fabulous, lots of love.

Jx