Monday 14 April 2014

Mr Oldie But Not Goldie


 
Well, I had yet another date on Saturday morning.  This one happened quite quickly (I like it that way because at least no-one is wasting their time!).  He mailed me on Friday morning – unfortunately, he didn’t have pics because of his job, but he did point me to a picture he had on LinkedIn ... it was tiny and I couldn’t really see it as I didn’t want to click on his profile as he’d then be able to see everything about me ... and well, I didn’t want that!

So I figured he kinda looked OK, 1st mistake, I should have seen proper pictures and agreed to meet him the next morning at 10.00 am for a coffee.  We arranged all of this without actually speaking, 2nd mistake, you should always talk to them before you meet them.  I know all this, I don’t know why I don’t stick to it sometimes ... ever the optimist I guess.  However, in my defence, we were only meeting 5 minutes from where I live, we were only having coffee and I could make a quick escape if I needed.

Saturday morning, I tarted myself up, hair all done, makeup perfect, skinny dark True Religion jeans, lil white summer jumper and heels, simple but appropriate for a Saturday morning coffee.  I drove to Starbucks, pulled in to a parking space and saw this old guy hanging around the entrance.  “Can’t be him” I thought.  He was wearing jeans, white checked shirt, Barbour jacket and ... wait for it ... a flat cap and goatee beard (my dad has a beard).  Now, you may be thinking, “ooooh he sounds quite trendy ... that’s all a bit Beckham-esque!” ... Nope ... he was in his 60s, so he just looked like a little old man (turns out he was from Yorkshire too ... all he was short of was the bloody whippet!).

I walked over to the entrance and all my fears came true ... it was him ... humph.  Not only was he also quite short, but he had quite obvious false teeth and the ones that weren’t false were an ugly shade of yellow and dark brown – that’s what really gave his age away ... I don’t think you can disguise your age when your teeth are that nasty, even if you look quite youthful (which he didn’t). FYI in his profile, he said he was 45.  My heart just dropped.

I should know by now just to say, “Thanks but no thanks” but I guess I’ve just been brought up too polite.  We ordered drinks and sat down (me, making sure that I mismatched his body language – I didn’t want this one getting the wrong idea) and let's say that the conversation did not flow ... it was like pulling false teeth.  Now I can talk to anyone, but this guy was so hard to talk to with the added bonus of me not being able to take my eyes of his nasty teeth.

When we sat down, I noticed someone I knew on another table behind Mr Oldie and he gestured to me, “Is that your dad?” me “No!” ... hands waving maniacally, truly horrified!  As if that wasn’t bad enough, it got worse when he told me that he and his wife split up 13 years ago and how proud it was that he’s learned to iron and how he picks his clothes based on the complexity of the ironing required.  ‘Kill me now!’ - he said it like I should be impressed! 

That was the final straw ... after about 30 minutes (longer than normal when I don't like them and I feel uncomfortable, but I while I still had a drink left which is another learning point ... don’t order a large drink just in case you need to make a quick exit) I couldn’t find an excuse to leave.  Finally, I told him I had to get to my friends' and made a hasty retreat without even mentioning a second date.  It was all very awkward – no matter how many dates I have, I hate that bit, at least he didn’t swoop in to try and kiss me on the lips - urgh *shudder*.

When I got home, I got an email from him on the site saying, “Loved meeting you, do you want to do it again?” I really cannot understand how these guys don’t get the vibe ... it’s very odd!  My reply, “Sorry, you’re not the man for me bla bla bla”.

So that’s another one done and dusted.  I have got one more little dating post to do tomorrow, along with telling you about my next steps because a rethink is definitely needed.  Until then lovelies, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

No comments:

Post a Comment