More Dating Malarky

Oh dear me … I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much as I have done today.  I downloaded the Iphone app for the dating website I’m on, so that me and Mehreen could check out some of the responses I was getting (I don’t think she quite believed some of the messages I was receiving and the pictures of the men sending them … it’s been like a damp squib so far!). 

It seems that with this particular website, you only really get messaged when you log on.  Ergo, the more you’re logged on, the more messages you received (no flaming wonder I wasn’t getting many messages then and I thought it was my dodgy profile!).

Within 2/3 minutes of entering my log on details, I got 9 messages/winks (I hate that ‘wink’ thingy.  What’s that all about? … and what are you supposed to do if someone winks at you?  To me it’s a cop out for not bothering to email someone … that might be just me … maybe I’m getting it all wrong and there’s a hidden agenda to it?  Answers on a post card please).

So after the initial barrage of messages and a quick giggle at some of the photos … you just wouldn’t believe it … I think the website should be titled “www.uglymen.com” … is that harsh?  Like I said to Mehreen, as she was pulling her face at some of the uglier pictures, “Do good looking men have to go on dating websites?”  It’s surely easier for men to find a partner than it is women because: 

a)     they can go out drinking on their own and don’t look sad and lonely

b)    they have a wider field to play in … I recently saw a friend of an Ex of mine from about 20 years ago (he must be about 45 now) who was dating someone at least 20 years younger than him.  Fair play to him, but it’d be much harder for a woman to do that … I’m not saying it’s not possible, but how many of your girl-friends do you know who date men more that 3 or 4 years younger than they are?  Apart from anything (and I really am trying not to be sexist here … honest) aren’t the majority of men still like little boys no matter how old they get … so the younger you go, you could end up dating someone akin to your nephew!  Well, I think I might leave it there in case I’m getting myself in real hot water here!

c)     It’s more acceptable for a bloke to approach a woman … is it acceptable for a woman to approach a man?  I dunno any more, maybe it’s my age!

Anyway, I got this really nice message from a guy who said that he bred horses and lives in the Midlands.  He had no picture (I’ve put that I won’t respond to people who have no picture … for obvious reasons ie they’re usually married) but he said that he thought he was good looking and had genuine reasons for not posting his pic (apparently, he’d met some nutter on the website … nice!).  It’s amazing how many men write that they are good looking.  Isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder?  It’s weird … I don’t know any women who do that, but then again, I’m not looking at women’s profiles I suppose.  Oh and I must point out here that I’m not that shallow that I wouldn’t consider someone who’d been hit with an ugly stick … if you could see some of my exes … one in particular could indeed be descended from the missing link or be the brother of Alex Reid … he also bore an uncanny resemblance to ‘Junior’ out of Carry on Screaming … without the beard though … that would be too weird!

So I mailed him back and gave him my email address (not my proper one, obv, the one I use for this dating malarkey).  About 2 minutes later, I checked my mail and there was a message from him together with 4 pictures.  I opened picture 1 and low and behold … I’m building up the suspense here … it could have been Les Denis standing there!  I kid you not!  I was hysterical … he was … erm … lets say strawberry blonde and the absolute spit of Amanda Holden’s former squeeze (never could see what she saw in him *shudder* ewwww … amongst other things, blonde eyelashes just don’t do it for me!).  I showed it to Mehreen and she totally agreed.

I opened the next, which was him standing with a horse.  I showed it to Mehreen, who calmly stated that the horse was better looking than him!  I could hardly breathe I was laughing so much … I’m struggling to contain myself as I’m writing this thinking about it!  She said it with such distain; with such a look of disgust on her face … it was so flaming funny! Lmao.  I haven’t opened the other two pictures … they take too long to loads in our dungeon office and life is just too short.

I’ve dipped in an out of the App all day and we’ve been constantly stunned and highly amused by the profiles of these people, their names and their weirdo messages … it’s been totally hysterical.

By the time 3.00 pm came, I’d had 85 messages/winks/profile views … I think that’s more than I’ve had since I joined!  Mehreen’s view on that … “Keep it up and at that rate you’re bound to meet someone” … Yeah, if I haven’t died laughing first!

I asked Mehreen whether she thought it would be a good idea to share (ie copy and paste) some of the messages I’ve been getting into a post cos this stuff really is funny (honestly, you have to read them to believe them) … we haven’t stopped laughing all day!  Of course, she agreed.  So I’ll be doing that over the next couple of days.  Well it was going to be a quiet news week anyway and I’ve gotta keep myself and you guys amused somehow! 

Oh and I was going to give you a bit more info about what the psychic said … at one point, about half way through the reading, she shouted “Bridgette Jones!” she actually nearly scared me half to death.  “Bridgette Jones!” she shouted again.  Then she said, “Writing … why am I seeing Bridgette Jones and you’re writing … I mean properly writing … writing lots!  What’s going on?”  I told her I was writing a blog, which is kinda like a diary and said that I thought that was where the Bridgette Jones thing came in.  She agreed that that would be the definitely be the connection … weird, huh?

Anyway, I must get on lovely people.  Be fabulous.

More dating stuff to follow!

Jx