Side Effects, Trance, Jack the Giant Slayer

Well I’ve seen 3 brilliant films over the last couple of weeks.  Again, there are so many films coming out at the moment that I hope by writing this blog, it will help you sort the wheat from the chaff when you’re only looking to maybe watch one a week.

So here goes:

Side Effects **** (4 Stars)

I LOVED this film and it was very near to getting 5 stars – in fact, I’m going to give it a 4.5 instead of a 4 because it really does deserve more.  So what’s it about?  Well, it’s about a once successful New York couple who are struggling to readjust to life after his recent release from prison (he was put away for insider dealing).  She is plagued with clinical depression and following a car crash, is referred to a psychiatrist (Jude Law) who offers her the latest prescription drugs with the aim of alleviating her anxiety.  However, the more she takes the drugs, the more the lines become blurred between reality and fantasy, with really nasty consequences.

There are loads of twists and turns in this film that I really didn’t see coming (Trance is like that too)  It’s quite a riveting watch actually and the fact that Channing Tatum plays the lead role didn’t hurt ... he’s very easy on the eyes don’t you know!  Catherine Zeta-Jones is in it too, although I’m not so sure about her recently.  She seems to have ages really quickly, despite all the work she’s had done ... I guess that would happen if you were married to someone so much other than you ... you’d become old before your time.  She looks decidedly middle aged (and there’s no need for that!).

If you can, go and see it.  It’s definitely one of my favourite films of this year (although it is a bit dark – certainly don’t go expecting laughs!).  Here’s the trailer...

Trance ***** (5 Stars)

I saw this today and I was really looking forward to it.  It’s the new film by Danny Boyle (I love his films) and it absolutely did not disappoint.  It stars James McAvoy, Vincent Cassel (he’s French and  played the lead role in Black Swan - love that film) who actually got more and more attractive as the film went on and Rosario Dawson (I’ve got to be honest, I can’t think what I’ve seen her in before, but she was brilliant in this).

So, what’s the story, morning glory?  A Fine Art Auctioneer suffers a blow to the head during a heist to still a Goya painting worth £25m.  When he wakes up, he discovers that he has no memory of what happened, the painting has disappeared and even the gangsters don't know where it is.  They (as you can imagine) are really p*ssed that all their hard work and planning and gone for nothing and try to torture the whereabouts of the painting from him.  However, when he still can’t remember, they send him to a hypnotherapist in order to see if she can gain access to his subconscious and discover what happened to the painting.

As a qualified hypnotherapist, I really found this film interesting, although you don’t need to know anything about hypnosis to enjoy it.  It had so many twists and turns that you just (or at least I) didn’t see coming, that it kept me hooked from beginning to end.  Be warned though, it’s really rather violet and they aren’t shy in showing the torture scenes and there are lots of guns and bloody shootings involved.  There’s also an awful lot of full frontal nudity from Ms Dawson too (no male full frontals though ... there rarely are I find!). 

In case you haven’t seen the trailer (although you’d have to have been living in a hole not to have caught Mr Boyle promoting it on some show or other over the past few weeks) here’s it is...

And finally...

Jack the Giant Slayer ***** (5 Stars)

Another 5 star film!  I loved this, it was extremely entertaining and quite the opposite end of the spectrum compared with Trance ... it was good, all round family entertainment.  It’s an adaptation of that old classic, Jack and the Beanstalk and stars Nicholas Hoult (him from About a Boy), who I have to admit is a little wooden in this, Ewan McGregor (who is wonderful) Stanley Tucci (who plays the king’s daughter’s traitorous suitor perfectly) and Ian McShane (whom I totally love) who plays the King with all the panache you’d expect from him.

It’s a good old fashioned romp with a fabulous story, brilliant cinematography and CGI ... this film had everything.  The best bit had to be the giants lead by Bill Nighy (his voice is instantly recognisable); they were brilliantly funny and actually really believable, they absolutely made the film.  I’m not going to go into the story, because if you don’t know the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, then you’ve more stuff to worry about than my description.  Anyway, here’s the trailer... Go see it, you’ll love it!

Right lovelies, that’s me for another day.  Until next time, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

Champagne Saturday & Cosmos

 

Well the last few weeks have started to be a bit more eventful, which is always good, especially for logging purposes.  A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to a Birthday party for a company I know who had just reached their first Birthday.  Now, normally I wouldn’t be too enthused about a business ‘party’, however, this was a business party with a difference.  For a start, it was being held in an art gallery which is very forward thinking for Manchester.  Secondly, they had cocktails and gorgeous, yummy finger food and there were giving party goers the opportunity to learn how the make cocktails!  Job done.

I took my lovely friend Nisha with me and we had thoroughly lovely time.  The highlight of the evening was, not the yummy cocktails and fabulous foodage (it was all ‘bite size fish and chips’ and ‘bite size toad in the hole’ ... you get the picture) but it was the fact that we learnt how to make Cosmopolitans!  My favourite cocktail (that doesn’t involved bubbly stuff that is) and the best bit was that they are incredibly easy to make ... who knew! 

And as I’m the caring/sharing sort, I thought I’d share the recipe with you:

• The juice of half a fresh lime

• Two shots of vodka

• Two shots of cranberry and raspberry juice

• Pour over ice in a cocktail maker, shake violently and pour ... voila!

Yum, yum, yum  ... that tasted just like liquid sherbet.  So that’s my new speciality.  Of course, it will never replace bubbles, but it comes a damn close second.  So all in all a jolly little time was had.

The following Saturday was ‘Champagne Saturday’ with the lovely Justine.  It’s actually been a year since the last one (can you believe that?  A whole year) and it was thoroughly enjoyable.  In case you aren’t aware, Champagne Saturday consists of Justine and me grabbing ourselves a seat at the Cocktail Bar in Harvey Nichols (Manchester) on a Saturday afternoon, drinking champagne and generally having a good girlie gossip and catch up, followed by having some yummy food somewhere equally as fabulous.  For my American readers, for Harvey Nichols think Neiman Marcus and you’re on the right track.

We had a thoroughly lovely day and we actually didn’t seem to drink as much as usual, or at least my hangover the next day wasn’t as bad as usual!  I’m happy to say that for a change, nothing untoward happened, so there really isn’t any gossip to share (I think I must be getting boring in my old age – either that or I’m learning to dodge the drama).

Right lovelies, that’s it for another day.  Enjoy your Easter Sunday and be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

On-line Dating 2013

Well, I’ve been promising it for a while and I apologise if I’ve fallen short of expectations, but all good things come to those who wait!

As I told you a couple of weeks ago, I rejoined the dating site that I was on last year, a few weeks ago.  I have to be honest, I’ve been super busy, so haven’t done much with it, but here are a small selection of the more entertaining emails I’ve received (again, each one has been copied and pasted exactly I’ve received it – no embellishment needed!)... enjoy!

hya am john x

 

After reading your profile and viewing your very cute photos I fell I should ignore all of the dating website formalities and jump straight in and ask you out on a date !!! [Don’t ignore the dating site formalities]

But as we know the Internet can be a dark and murky place so to ensure my safety I have very carefully devised some vetting questions !!!!!

( 1). What is bluer the ocean or the sky. ?  [Who cares]

(2). Peanut butter or strawberry jam. ? [Who cares]

(3). Early mornings or late nights. ?  [VET! Bored now]

Hello there x [Hmmmmm]

hi x [And you really expect a response?]

 

Stunnnnnning xxx [Original]

liverpool man here your verry nice how are you [... and you can't spell.  I got the same mail 6 times from this guy]

 

Hi I looked at your profile and even though you did waffle a bit.....you do seem normal! Haha! [Ooooooh a charmer!]


Fancy a chat sometime? [Er, that’ll be a no - he was 65]

You keep popping up on my search as being my perfect woman and that we should get married within 6 months, so I feel compelled to go along with what fate is saying so that we don't miss out on something amazing! So hi how are things with you? [‘Run to the hills’]

 

you missed out very pretty on ur profile ..... hi by the way :) [blach – I was just sick a bit in my mouth - this guy is so overweight, he makes Homer Simpson look thin]

 

this one, I couldn’t resist mailing back ... this is how the conversation went:

Him: hello, lovely photos, and profile, very demanding ?

Me: What do you mean ‘very demanding’?

Him: As in what you want from a man and that you like the finer things in life!

Me: ‘Whatever’ [NEXT!]

 

very stuning lady xxx [funy guy]

hi 
i like what i see in you.
are you free to chat.
if not now.
later on tonight? [Er, no i'll be busy]

look really well im gaz in middle  [You've gotta love people who can't punctuate!]

How's your weekend going? Mine has taken a nosedive......I told my U-13 football team that if they won by 2 goals on Thursday - I'd wash and iron their kits!! They only went and won 3-1!! So I'm surrounded by a pile of washing!! How does a first date of......extreme ironing sound?!! [WTF?  Like I care ... I don't know you!]

afternoon miss x [miss what?]

hello . . [that took a lot of effort]

ur gorgous hi im ricky xx [Wow, flattering and intelligent ... a winner]

 

Hmph ... forgot how hard work it is.  Hey ho.  I’ll keep going and keep you informed.  Until then, have a wonderful weekend – be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Hansel & Gretel, Oz the Great

Well lovelies, I did a quick double yesterday and took in Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and Oz the Great and Powerful and have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed both of them.

Hansel & Gretel **** (4 Stars)

The story is based (as you would imagine) on the story of Hansel and Gretel when they are all grown up.  The story is pretty basic in that it’s 15 years after the initial incident (they show all that too) and follows the pair as they cross the country seeking and killing witches.

If you like Van Helsing, you’ll love this.  It’s the same mix of seemingly old ie set somewhere in Europe in the 1800s and the use of 20^th century fire arms.  There’s also a bit of weird mix of accents (I favour the English accent for these types of films, it just seems to fit, but they decided to go with American for the main characters ... mistake in my book).  There was also quite a bit of gratuitous swearing that just didn’t seem to fit and an odd humour that ran though it which made the film seem a little confused about what it was trying to be.

That said, I really enjoyed it, as did the two teenagers sitting behind me who laughed all the way through it, which actually was really rather amusing and made me giggle to.  There’s also a really lovable Troll in the film, which was the source of most of my co-watchers’ amusement.

What’s right with it?

The cinematography, the sets, costumes and make up are amazing.  The witches are suitably witchy and really rather fabulous and the story had a few unexpected twists.

What’s wrong with it?

The American accents, the swearing and some of the really rather poor script writing.

All in all, I really enjoyed it and would probably see it again!  Here’s the trailer:

 

Oz the Great and Powerful **** (4 Stars)

This was another good film (although I did fall asleep for about 10 minutes, 20 minutes in to the film ... I’m so tired lately!) and really aimed at quite a younger market.  If you liked Alice in Wonderland, you’ll love this; it’s exactly the same genre and looks like it was shot in the same country (I know it's all CGI, but you know what I mean).

The story is a prequel to the original - the Wizard is a small time circus magician with dubious ethics, he tries to flee the circus (due to having to make a quick exit) in a hot air balloon, gets sucked into a giant twister and is hurled away from Kansas to the vibrant Land of Oz where he meets three witches, Theodora, Evanora and Glinda (the good witch ... remember her? Awwwwww).  Putting his magical arts to use through illusion, Oscar transforms himself into the great and powerful Wizard.  We also find out why one of the witches turns from being a white witch to a dark one ... heads up, the reason for it involves a man!

What’s right with it?

Good story, fabulous sets and CGI ... I actually loved the bit about the good witch turning bad ... kind of resonated! Mila Kunis was absolutely brilliant in it too as Teodora/Wicked Witch of the West - I'm liking her more and more with each film I see her in.

What’s wrong with it?

It's a bit too long ... oh and it’s very child friendly ... which wouldn’t be a bad thing if I was a kid!

Although I really enjoyed it, I probably wouldn’t bother watching it again.  Some films you’re happy to (like Hansel and Gretel) others you wouldn’t want to lose another 2 hours of your life for ... this was one of those - however I'm sure your kids would watch it over and over.  Here’s the trailer:
 

 
 

I saw the trailer of the new Star Trek film today ... it looks amazing.  Here’s a bonus trailer of that too (boy do I spoil you!)...

 

Right lovelies, that’s me for another day.  Until next time, have a wonderful week and be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

Mama, Stoker, Broken City

Well lovelies, I had quite an exciting week last week (for a change) and I’ll give you an update on that later.  I’m just aware that lots of my friends are off to the cinema this weekend, so I thought I’d give a quick update on some of the films I’ve seen lately.

Mama *** (3 Stars)

I had high hopes for this film as the trailers looked really good and I’m sure it had links to Guillermo Del Torro who made Pan’s Labyrinth (which is one of my all time favourite films).  Mama (according to the blurb) is a supernatural thriller that tells the haunting tale of two little girls who disappeared after their father killed their mother and drove their car off a cliff (nice!).  After the father drags the kids through the woods where they find an abandoned cabin, but there’s something very sinister in that cabin!  Their father’s brother (that’ll be their uncle then) never gives up hope of finding them and hires detectives who eventually locate the cabin and the kids.

As you would imagine the children are severely disturbed but are released into the care of their uncle and his Goth type girlfriend.  That’s when the fun starts in earnest ... the girls had been looked after in the cabin by a sinister force that came with them to their new home....

Well, toward the beginning of this film, I actually really quite enjoyed it.  It was a bit scary/jumpy and as I hadn’t really read the reviews, I didn’t know what it was about.  However, it did descend into silliness quite quickly.  At one point, Mamma disappeared into the floor and you could only see her hair trailing across the hall floor – that was actually quite hysterical and everyone in the cinema was laughing.  It actually looked like that used a long haired wig and dragged it across the floor on wires; unfortunately it totally broke the suspense that had been building.

Also, towards the end of the film (and don’t worry, I’m not giving anything away here) you actually saw the face of ‘Mama’ (it had been obscured until that point) and it looked like one of the ghosts from Disney’s Christmas Carol!  So funny ... again, completely broke the mood.

So would I recommend it?  Well, if you’re not looking for something too intense and are not expecting too much from it, then yes, I’d recommend it.  Without the silly bits, it would probably have been a 4 and it actually had the potential to be a 5!  Here’s the trailer:

 

Stoker – **** (4 Stars)

Well this was a complete surprise for me.  I hadn’t seen any trailers so I had no clue what it was about.  Within the first 20 minutes or so of the film, I did think about leaving because it was a bit too arty with very little substance, but I’m glad I didn’t as it got immeasurably better!

The story: After a girl’s dad dies in an auto accident, her Uncle, who she never knew existed, comes to live with her and her emotionally unstable mother (Nicole Kidman).  Soon after his arrival, she comes to suspect this mysterious charming man has ulterior motives and witnesses him carrying out some rather heinous acts.  However, instead of feeling outrage or horror towards him, she becomes increasingly infatuated with him.

This was a really good film, I think partly because I didn’t know anything about it and it unfolded in ways I absolutely didn’t see coming.  Go and see this one (especially if you like more arty type films).  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.  Here’s the trailer...

Broken City * (1 Star)

Well, I went to see this against my better judgement (as Russell Crowe has a leading role in it and as you know if you read my posts regularly, he should have given up acting after Gladiator) and I wasn’t shocked that it was appalling.

The story: When disgraced cop turned private detective (Mark Wahlberg) is hired by NYC’s mayor to tail his wife (Catherine Zeta-Jones) , he uncovers a city wide conspiracy of corruption, sex and murder (I didn’t write that bit, that makes it sound interesting).  With his life threatened, the detective finds himself faced with an impossible choice which could have disastrous repercussions for his career and family.

If I’m honest, I pinched most of that from Flixster as I really could think how to explain the total load of rubbish I watched.  I don’t even know why I stayed until the end (I guess I’m ever the optimist and hoped it would get better ... it didn’t!).  Anyway, just in case you’re interested, here’s the trailer...

I still want to see Hansel & Gretal, Oz the Great and Powerful and Side Effects – I’m not sure if I can fit 3 in in one day, so I may need to be selective based on start times!  I’ll let you know about those and give you an update on my escapades last week, as soon as I can.  Until then, enjoy your Sunday!

Lots of love

Jx