On-line Dating 2013

Well, I’ve been promising it for a while and I apologise if I’ve fallen short of expectations, but all good things come to those who wait!

As I told you a couple of weeks ago, I rejoined the dating site that I was on last year, a few weeks ago.  I have to be honest, I’ve been super busy, so haven’t done much with it, but here are a small selection of the more entertaining emails I’ve received (again, each one has been copied and pasted exactly I’ve received it – no embellishment needed!)... enjoy!

hya am john x

 

After reading your profile and viewing your very cute photos I fell I should ignore all of the dating website formalities and jump straight in and ask you out on a date !!! [Don’t ignore the dating site formalities]

But as we know the Internet can be a dark and murky place so to ensure my safety I have very carefully devised some vetting questions !!!!!

( 1). What is bluer the ocean or the sky. ?  [Who cares]

(2). Peanut butter or strawberry jam. ? [Who cares]

(3). Early mornings or late nights. ?  [VET! Bored now]

Hello there x [Hmmmmm]

hi x [And you really expect a response?]

 

Stunnnnnning xxx [Original]

liverpool man here your verry nice how are you [... and you can't spell.  I got the same mail 6 times from this guy]

 

Hi I looked at your profile and even though you did waffle a bit.....you do seem normal! Haha! [Ooooooh a charmer!]


Fancy a chat sometime? [Er, that’ll be a no - he was 65]

You keep popping up on my search as being my perfect woman and that we should get married within 6 months, so I feel compelled to go along with what fate is saying so that we don't miss out on something amazing! So hi how are things with you? [‘Run to the hills’]

 

you missed out very pretty on ur profile ..... hi by the way :) [blach – I was just sick a bit in my mouth - this guy is so overweight, he makes Homer Simpson look thin]

 

this one, I couldn’t resist mailing back ... this is how the conversation went:

Him: hello, lovely photos, and profile, very demanding ?

Me: What do you mean ‘very demanding’?

Him: As in what you want from a man and that you like the finer things in life!

Me: ‘Whatever’ [NEXT!]

 

very stuning lady xxx [funy guy]

hi 
i like what i see in you.
are you free to chat.
if not now.
later on tonight? [Er, no i'll be busy]

look really well im gaz in middle  [You've gotta love people who can't punctuate!]

How's your weekend going? Mine has taken a nosedive......I told my U-13 football team that if they won by 2 goals on Thursday - I'd wash and iron their kits!! They only went and won 3-1!! So I'm surrounded by a pile of washing!! How does a first date of......extreme ironing sound?!! [WTF?  Like I care ... I don't know you!]

afternoon miss x [miss what?]

hello . . [that took a lot of effort]

ur gorgous hi im ricky xx [Wow, flattering and intelligent ... a winner]

 

Hmph ... forgot how hard work it is.  Hey ho.  I’ll keep going and keep you informed.  Until then, have a wonderful weekend – be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx