Well
here we are again, just as I promised. Today’s
little tale is about Mr Caribbean, oh this is a corker you’ll love this one...
I
was contacted by this rather gorgeous, exotic (exotic to me is anyone who’s not
Caucasian!) looking male. I had a quick shufty at his profile and he looked
rather lovely (plus his mum lives in Barbados, so being rather mercenary, I did
think of the free Caribbean holibobs!) so I mailed him back and he mailed me
and I mailed him and he mailed me … anyway, you get the idea. This went on way longer than I would usually
tolerate (I have a view that if they haven’t asked for my number within 5 email
exchanges, then they are never likely to … actually, it’s not just a view, it’s
been tried and tested on a number of occasions).
This
went far over the 5 exchanges … more like 20 and then it dawned on me … I’d
been here before with this guy, so mailed him and said, “Sorry, I’ve just
realised that we’ve been here before” his reply was a bit odd, “What prey tell
are you referring to?” I told him that
we’d emailed loads before and I’d given up because I surmised that he wasn’t
going to call and was a bit of a time waster.
That should have been Alarm Bell No 1.
He
came back almost immediately and said that he wasn’t a time waster and could he
have my number and could he take me out on the Friday night (this was on the
Tuesday). Well, I couldn’t say no (well
I guess I could have, but I didn’t) so we swapped numbers and that’s where
alarm bell No 2 should have kicked in … he sent me 5 pictures of himself,
clearly taken by himself in various rooms in his house (not a very nice house)
wearing different tops and headgear … go figure!). I don’t get why guys do that. Why would you send a picture of yourself, or
rather why would you send pictureS
of yourself (plural) without being asked for them? It smacks of either narcissism … a bit of
“Look at me, aren’t I gorgeous and aren’t you lucky girl – here’s some fabulous
pictures of me that you can download to your desktop or keep on your phone, you
could even print them up and put them around your house so that you can drool
over me all day long”) No … Just no! You DO NOT send pictures unless you’re asked
for them. Also there’s the fact that
they send the same pictures as you’ve already seen on the website If I was so desperate to carry around their
picture, which I never am, I could download it from the website. OOoooohhhhhhhh I have such an issue with this
that I’m getting wound up about it while I’m typing.
Anyway,
I digressed a bit there sorry about that, I’ll move on. So I got over the ‘picture’ thing and we agreed to meet in a little country pub not
too far from where we both lived (we live in different towns but only about 5
miles from each other). Over the next
few days, we exchanged perfectly nice texts about the weather, what we were up
to that day … just general chit chat.
Then on the Thursday, I get a text to say could he change the venue to a
Vodka bar in HIS home town. Now, this
should have sent Alarm Bell No 3 ringing on 4 counts:
- Why should I have travel to
him? He certainly wasn’t making it
easy for me.
- He would have been able to
drink and I would have had to drive.
- Why would you want to have a
first date in a rowdy bar in a ‘fighting’ town (neither of our towns are
that prestigious!) full of kids on a Friday night?
- He’s 50 for God’s sake! (Quite a bit older than what I’d usually
go for … that should have been alarm bell all on its own!)
So,
I just sent a polite response saying that I’d rather we stick to our original
plans, which he seemed fine about. (Oh
and while I’m at it, what is it about everyone wanting to use Viber and
Whatsapp now … it’s fine for use with your friends but with a potential
date? All I can put it down to is that
these guys are too cheap to pay for texts … or am I showing my age? Don’t answer that!)
Then
I got the howler … “What do you look for in a man?” (I really hate those type
of questions with a passion, they really make me squirm – if you really must ask
me things like that do it face to face
or call me, better still, don’t ask me those types of questions at all! And while I’m at it, don’t try and get to
know me through texts! Phew, another
rant!). So gave a really non-committal
reply and asked him what he looked for in a woman … I didn’t actually really
care by this point, but thought I should be polite. Well, what I received back I can only
describe as pornographic! I nearly fell
off my chair, it was so rude that I couldn’t even read it out loud to one of my
friends – I just shoved the phone into her hand with a horrified look on my
face. She read it and actually turned
red!
She
said, “You’re not going to see him now are you?
That’s disgusting, I’m cringing and feel dirty just reading it” I said,
“What do you think?” We agreed that I should reply telling him that I thought
his text was inappropriate, especially to send a text like that to someone you
don’t know or haven’t even met (in fact, I think I’d still be shocked if I got
that text from someone I’d been in a full blown relationship with … honestly,
it was a shocker!). How can you go from
talking about the weather in one text! He
replied saying sorry but that that he was only answering my question. I didn’t reply. Neither did I reply to the slew of texts I
got from him over the next 24 hours. Finally
I thought I should put him out of his misery and wrote, “Look, you’re not the
man for me, move on” … DELETE … NEXT. Luckily,
I haven’t heard from him again!
Phew,
told you it was a goody and there’s still plenty where that came from. Right lovelies, people to see, gyms to
do. Until next time (probably tomorrow
whilst I’m on a roll!) be fabulous.
Lots
of love
Jx
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