Hi
lovelies, it’s been a while and all I can do is apologise. I don’t really have much of an excuse other
than I’ve been unbelievably busy with clients, clients more clients, the cinema and the gym
(yes … you read that correctly – I’ve been going on a fairly consistent basis
to the gym – not that I’ve actually been sweating you understand, that would
just never do but I have to admit that I’m feeling better and have lost a few lbs.
in to the bargain! I'm one of those lucky suckers who never gets very hot, so even exercising in this heat hasn't stopped me ... nor has it made me sweat ... people tell me I'm lucky, but you do not want to be around me when it's cold ... brrrrrrrrrr! *angry/sad face*).
So,
what have I got to tell you? Well I’ve
thought long and hard about whether I should continue to write about my dating
exploits which I have debated long and hard with my friends (Sharon, Joanne and
Michelle). I have to be honest that I
was thinking that maybe I was starting to look a bit sad and desperate because I seem to be
constantly dipping in and out of on-line dating and not finding anyone even
half decent (one bloke on the dating site I’ve been back on actually said, “What’s
wrong with you that you’re still here?” My answer, “Because this place is full
of knobs like you!”).
However,
my erstwhile friends have persuaded to put pen to paper again, by saying that
"it’s just not fair of me not to share because your tales are the funniest
things we get to read!” … thanks guys, it’s nice to know that my love life, or
lack thereof, is keeping you amused!
So really through nothing more than wanting to bring a smile to my
friends’ faces, I’ve decided to take the giant leap and fill you in on what’s
been happening. First things first
though …
The Disclaimer
OK, I feel the need to
have to say this every time I start a new discussion regarding on-line dating,
because there’s always some smart ass (usually a man ... sorry if I seem sexist, but that's the truth!) trying to tell me where
I’m going wrong or what I should be doing or saying, or generally giving me the
benefit of their wisdom (I know, I know, there’s a fundamental difference
between men and women in this respect – women love the gossip and generally
just tell each other what’s going on and men want to fix things … Guys, I don’t
need fixing, I appreciate your concern though!). So before I start, here’s the full on disclaimer:
THIS IS A BIT OF FUN
AND WHILST EVERY TALE IS TRUE (never embellished, honest) I DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY
AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU, NOR DO I SHARE WITH YOU ANYTHING THAT I WOULD CONSIDER
PRIVATE OR PERSONAL. WHAT I SHARE IS A
TINY PART OF MY LIFE AND I ONLY DO IT FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT … OH WHILE I'M AT IT, THIS
SITUATION (ie dating) DOES NOT REQUIRE ANY SORT OF ‘FIXING’ AND NEITHER DO I! READ IT FOR WHAT IT'S
INTENDED TO BE … A GIGGLE!
Right
… can I move on now? Has that well and
truly sunk in? Good J
OK
well, I don’t really know where to start there’s been so much and my memory is
particularly lousy (which was the whole point of me starting this blog in the
first place … so that I could remember what I’d been up to!). Let’s start with Mr Vertically Challenged…
Mr
Vertically Challenged (Mr VM for short ... did you like what I did there huh, huh?) I've called him this because I really do like tall men … sorry if
that offends anyone, but some people like skinny, some fat, some muscly, some not so muscly,
some tall, some short … you like what you like and I like tall … we’re not
talking freaky giant here, we’re merely talking over 5’10”. I have this limit not only because I like
taller men but because anything under that and they tend to lie about their
height for example, 5’8” is rarely 5’8” it’s more likely to be 5’6” (remember
my friend Nicky who ended up with ‘Santa’s Little Helper’ on her
doorstep?). Men 5’10” and over don’t
need to lie those under, do … that’s mine and about a dozen other women’s
experience anyway!
So
Mr VC I thought was passable because he was chunky, we’re talking VERY muscly
here, which can sometimes make up for height (only sometimes) so I decided after a
few emails to swap numbers. Almost
immediately I got one reasonably nice text from him then within seconds I get
another with a picture attached… a picture of his car (which was a very nice
cabriolet) with the caption, “I may let you have a ride in my car if you’re lucky
and if you’re REALLY lucky I may let you drive it” my reply, “You’re alright
love, I’ve already got one” It was the exact same car as mine!!!!
Now
don’t get me wrong, my/our car is very lovely and I guess would be classed in
the ‘executive’ range, but if you’re going to go bragging about your car, at
least make sure that who you’re bragging to doesn’t have the same one!! Blimey, it wasn’t like he had a Bentley
Sport or a Ferarri!
So,
I’m sorry to say, that put me right off him and actually made me think, “Little
man making up for it with big car and trying to show off” (although what the
car says about me, I hate to hazard a guess!) I also thought it was a bit
patronising … “Look at me with my lovely car … I bet you can’t afford one of
these little girly” … Wrong … NEXT! (Oh how I’ve missed saying that!)
I
think I had one of those types before … he was 5’9” (so his profile said, he was actually 5'7") and drove a Jeep (Jeep
Man!) remember? Ah well, plenty more fish and all that. I’ve got tonnes more to tell you but you can
have too much of a good thing in one day you know!
More
tomorrow lovelies, until then, be fabulous!
Lots
of love
Jx
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