Happy Monday!

Hello and Happy Monday!

Of course I say Happy Monday, but I’m so far from perky today it’s unreal!

Nothing much to update you on with regard to the dating bit … apart from the fact that I’ve had pictures sent to me by a self confessed ‘attractive’ (read ‘fat’) doctor and a ‘good looking’ (read ‘fat’) Asian business man … whom my lovely Asian friend, Mehreen said looked like a gangster!  Nice.  I’m getting a bit bored with the whole internet dating thing.  The novelty’s worn off a bit, so I think I’ll give it rest for a while.

So, what of the weekend?  Well, put it this way, my kidneys are in dire need of a detox today … and I fell decidedly groggy plus I keep having mini dizzy spells!  It’s been a hectic, but fab weekend. 

Friday, I went out with one of my bestest friends, Viv.  We haven’t been out together on our own for ages, so we decided to do what we usually do ie go for a couple of drinks in our local town and then for a Chinese.  So far so good.

Well, in my wisdom, I decided that it’d be a good idea to have a couple of drinks before I went out (rather than go to the gym!) … never a good idea, especially as I’m rubbish at holding my drink!  So by the time Viv picked me up, I was well on the way to being … well … very happy!

We rocked up at a newly refurbished bar (as I’ve said in earlier posts, our town is definitely so far removed from cosmopolitan) … and I was pleasantly surprised, it was actually rather nice!  We ordered our LARGE glasses of white wine and took a seat.  Well, all I can say is that the vino went down a dream and rather quickly as we did what we do best … girlie gossip!

I hopped up to the bar (well, it was hardly a hop really as I was wearing 6” Kurt Geiger’s, so it was more of a shuffle!).  Whilst I was ordering the drinks, I asked to see the new menu … the barmaid went to the end of the bar, where there was a bit of a kerfuffle and looks from the staff … next minute, what I think was the owner came over with the menu, gabbed my hand and started kissing it!  (Very bloody odd for St Helens, let me tell you!) He escorted me back to our table and well, I really can’t tell you what he said to my friend about me, cos it’s a bit embarrassing!  He left us to it, but came back 5 minutes later, grabbed me and proceeded to drag me to look at the restaurant … all the time holding my hand!!  Usually, I’d have had something to say about someone who did that, especially as my poor friend was left sitting on her own … but I was too ‘happy’ or should I say, inebriated and shocked to say anything!  So I got the guided tour … and very nice it was too!  He then escorted me back to our table, making another few comments to my friend, who was laughing hysterically by this point!

Well, we finished our wine and as it was getting quite late, decided we needed food.  We stumbled out of the bar (I guess we could have eaten there, but it didn’t occur to us!) and started our 2 minute walk to the Chinese … in the rain … with me wearing said leopard print, pony skin 6” heels, oh, and no coat … nice!  Still it was only a couple of minutes walk.  However, we got there and it was closed!  Flamin’ nightmare!  So we had to back track to an Indian which was virtually next to the bar we’d just left!

Needless to say, we were both soaked.  Don’t really have much to say about the meal (mainly because I can’t really remember most of it).  I know it was yummy and I know that I dripped a little Chicken Tikka Masala down my brand new DVF white shirt (nice!).  That’s gonna be a bugger to get out!

There ended a lovely, happy evening.  The next day (Saturday) I had a nail appointment at 10.00 am … Ouch!  Made it though … the things we do for beauty!

Will tell you about Saturday night’s escapades tomorrow.

Until then … be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Internet Dating No 3

Ok, so, last night’s date … if you can call it that.  Firstly, let me tell you a bit about the guy I thought I was meeting.  He had no photo on his profile, but described himself at 45, tall, dark etc.  I asked him to send me a photo, which he did (although he was quite far away in it … standing next to his Ferrari … but he did look attractive, even my friends agreed!).

Well, I rushed home (navigating some horrendous traffic), jumped in the shower, curled my hair, make up on … ah you know the drill and made it out of the door with 5 minutes to spare.  I walked into the bar where we’d agreed to meet (I must digress a little here … the town I live in is so far removed from anything remotely resembling cosmopolitan, that I haven’t visited any of its less than salubrious bars for a good 10 plus years.  On a Saturday night, the Star Wars bar looks positively normal in comparison!).  Anyway, back to the story … I scanned the rather large room, looking for the man who was in the picture (obviously!), couldn’t see him.  Walked the length of the long bar … couldn’t see him, then this rather ‘older’ man, with a tash, grey hair, aged (and not in a good way) brown leather jacket and … well, I couldn’t bear to look down, so couldn’t tell you what he was wearing on his lower half … the mind boggles!

No flaming wonder I couldn’t find him when I walked in … he was nothing (and I mean NOTHING) like his picture!  He kissed me on the cheek, but put both hands on my waist while he did it … ewwwwwwwww.  He then proceeded to ask me if I’d seen my texts … when I said no, he pointed to a youngish, bald guy wearing tracksuit bottoms and drinking a pint on his own.  He said that he’d texted me, giving the description of the bald guy as if it was him and was waiting to see what my reaction was!  Well I can tell you what my reaction was, I wish it had been him … he was about 30 years younger and considerably better looking!

So, to cut a long story short (you really don’t want to know how boring the conversation was), we left after 40 minutes, both going our separate ways.  I was home, feet up with a glass of bubbly vino within 10 minutes, continuing my marathon run of Season 2 The Mentalist (oooh I so love Simon Baker) … bliss. 

He’s sent me about 4 cryptic texts since then … the chattiest one being ‘u r gr8’!  Needless to say, I won’t be replying!

I’m out with my friend Jenny tonight for an Italian (meal I mean!).  Haven’t seen her for ages, so no doubt there’ll be loads to tell tomorrow.

Have a fab night :-0

Lots of love

Jx

Internet Dating No 2

Now, let me tell you about a couple of other guys I’ve ‘met’ on this dating site (‘met’ is used very lightly as I haven’t actually come face to face with any of them yet!).

First of all, there was a guy from Newcastle.  Good enough, he called when he said he would and didn’t do endless texting.  After exchanging hello’s, I asked him how he was and he launched into how drunk he’d been the night before and how he’d been trying to get over it all day, nice!  He then proceeded to ask me a barrage of quick fire questions about what I wear, have I had my teeth whitened, do I wear designer clothes … it was like being interviewed (more like interrogated … I’m sure the Gestapo would have welcomed him with open arms!).  He said that the first thing he looks at on a girl is her eyes, then her teeth, then her shoes … “If she’s wearing crap shoes, she’s out!”  Un-flamin-believable!

The call ended (a bit abruptly, by me) saying I had an early start and he said he’d call that week.  The next day I sent him a Dear John … he sent a mail back saying that he thought we got on really well and had lots in common (yeah, that I’ve had my teeth whitened and I wear designer shoes!).

Next was a guy from the Midlands … don’t know where because we never got to speak.  After about 2 weeks worth of texting and him failing to call when he said he would … I abandoned all hope and didn’t reply to his last text, apologising for not ringing me.

Next was a guy from Preston … he texted for a few days and asked if we could be Facebook friends.  Facebook friends!!!!  What are we? 15? I replied that it wouldn’t be possible until I knew him at least a little bit … I did think he was probably trying to vet me before he bothered spending any time on me.  Well, whatever, that night, he rang.  We spoke for about 15 minutes … he seemed nice and said that he’d ring me later in the week to arrange a date.  I didn’t hear from him again that week, but he texted me twice the following week.  I replied to the first, couldn’t be bothered with the second.

What is it with men and texting????  Have I been out of the dating game so long that the rules have changed that much?  How the hell can you make a judgment about someone from a few random, oddly spelt words?

Next we had a guy from Shropshire … oh you’re going to love this one.  It’s worth pointing out first that according to his profile he was a millionaire.  He rang me from a landline and within the first couple of minutes asked me if I had a landline that he could call.  When I asked why, he said that it was expensive calling mobiles from a landline!  When I said that I didn’t give my landline out, he asked me to call him back! FFS! I nearly fell off the couch … so that was the end of him.  I wouldn’t even do that to my friends and I’m not a millionaire, or trying to get them to go out with me!

So that leads us to now and my date.  Oh, there are a couple of others that I’ve been chatting to, but nothing that’s worth noting here.  This is another strange one with the texts … he sends texts, but they are cryptic.  You know, one or two words that could mean anything.  I haven’t spoken to him, so tonight’s going to be a complete surprise for both of us …

I’ll let you know what happens!

Night night all.  Wish me luck!

Lots of Love

Jx

Internet Dating No 1

OK, so, as I said, I'm single and have been for a while (too flaming lazy to do anything about it!) and the lovely lady who does my waxing (ouch!), has been on and on at me to do some online dating... so I did, in about October last year.  Apparently a number of her clients had some real success with a particular site (which shall remain nameless (for now!).

Did you know that most of them let you join for free, but won't let you view any messages unless you pay up?!  Buggers.  Well, as I say, I joined in October, but didn't pay anything ... not cos I can't afford it, you understand, I just couldn't be bothered!  (A psychoanalyst would have a field day with that, I'm sure!)... Anyway, cut a long story short, my lovely waxist (is that even a word?), kept on at me (and you don't really wanna argue with someone who has hot wax near your lady bits), so about a month ago, I paid up and was able to view the 180 ... yep ... 180 messages I had.

Wow!  What a flamin' eye opener!  I had men ranging from about 25 to 75 (so they said, I think there were a couple nearer 90 myself!) and some of the oddest messages! ... none rude though :-)

Strange what people think about themselves ... weird how many men put that they are 'attractive' in their profile!  Who the hell told them that (Oh, excuse me, that'll be their mothers' won't it ... forgot that one).  And the lies ... there was this one bloke who must've ticked a box to say that he was 49, but in his profile said that he was really 59, but was an actor and got roles as a 49 year old (he'd had that much work done, it was nigh on impossible to guess what he really age was!  Could've been 79 for all I knew!). 

Well that's just for starters.  More tomorrow on the whittling down and what's happened with the one's I've swapped numbers with.  Oh ... and I have a date tomorrow ... that should be fun!

Speak soon.

Have fun.

Lots of love

Jx

Hi and Welcome!

Hi Everyone and Welcome!

This is my first foray into blogging, but I have such an unusual life, that I thought I'd like to share it with you all.  There's never a dull moment with me, so I'll be covering everything from dating (I'm single at the moment), friends (not family!), fashion, shopping and whatever else I feel like writing about!

To tell you a bit about me ... as I say, I'm single, not long turned the big 4-0 and have just started that whole internet dating malarkey!  Flaming nightmare ... more about that in later posts.  I like the nicer things in life ... far away holidays, designer clothes/shoes (bought in the sales, obv!), nice cars and good food ... however, I have to point out here that I'm very far from rich, I just work hard ... REALLY hard!  I'm a size 6/8 (but don't give me grief over that ladies ... I'm that weight cos I hardly eat... you can't have it all!).  I have a gym membership, but can never be bothered to drag my ass there and am totally in love with white wine (in particular, Champers or if I can't afford that, a bottle of bubble Hardy's goes down a treat! ... yay!).

So, tune in regularly and don't forget to let me know what you think!

Have fun ... and keep being gorgeous :-)

Lots of Love

Jxxxx