OK so, I said that I’d tell you about my little foray into using a Dating Agency. Well, here goes ...
When I was on holiday one time (I think I was in the Dominican Republic ... lovely place. Some people think it's a bit 'Second Rate Caribbean' but I love it there!) I was saying how fed up I was being single, and I really needed to do something about it. One of the people I was on holiday with recommended this dating agency based in Manchester. The ‘hook’ that made these people different from other agencies (or so I was lead to believe) was that they actually got you to fill in a very detailed questionnaire about you and about the type of person you were looking for. They also interviewed you face to face and (I think this was the bit that sold it to me) took up references on each of their ‘members’ to ensure that they were who they said they were.
Now obviously, that kinda service doesn’t come cheap, but I thought that they seemed really comprehensive, especially after I’d researched them on their website when I got home. They promised to match you with like minded people who had thoroughly been investigated beforehand, so I thought it must be worth the money. Also, it did cross my mind that if men were willing to pay that kind of money, then they must be serious about finding someone special, rather than looking for a quick fling. OMG how naive you can be? But hey, you live and learn and sometimes you’ve got to try these things for yourself!
So, after having a good old mooch around their website, I gave them a call and was told that I’d need to come in to their offices, or they could come to my house or office for a full face to face interview type thing. I elected to go to their offices, a very swanky place at Salford Quays. I was shown into a little interview room that contained lots of ‘Thank You’ cards (obviously, to my mind looking back, they were completely staged to make you think these guys are good at matching you with your ideal partner ... how wrong can you be!?) then was left to fill in the longest questionnaire I think I’ve ever done.
It went in to every detail of my appearance, what I liked to do in my spare time, the music I like, the activities I do ... well you get the idea. Then I had to complete another section about the type of guy I was looking for. Again, it was extremely detailed down to the colour of their eyes, their height, hair colour, type of clothes, music, sports ... everything pretty much including inside leg measurement.
As I was completing the form, I remember thinking what a pain in the ass it was, but how wonderful it was that they wanted so much detail. With that much detail, they must really made sure that the people they match me with are pretty spot on! Next, I had a really detailed interview with some bloke (can’t remember his name now) but looking back, he was the usual pushy sales bloke ... I cannot believe how I didn’t spot it. I meet these people every day and am always wary of them – maybe because this was about something personal rather than business ... note to self, apply your business sense when dealing with personal issues!
He told me that I could log on to their website and put my picture up there so that when they sent me matches through, we would be able to see pictures of each other. So, with the questionnaire completed (together with my references!) the interview done and my rather substantial cheque in the guy’s grubby mitt, I left their offices with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. I was more pleased with myself that I’d actually bothered to get off my backside and do something about being single than anything else.
Then I waited. And waited. And waited. A few weeks later (now I’m a little bit hazy on details on all this stuff, because it was a while ago) I got a phone call from one of the ladies in their office to say that they had a good match for me. They had told him all about me and he was interested so did I want to hear about him? Well of course I bloody did ... that’s what I was paying them for! She told me (from what I can remember) he was 6 feet tall, athletic build, blonde hair, blue eyes, good job – to be honest, I can’t remember much past that - knowing me, that was probably enough! So I said, “Yes, he sounds nice, you can give him my number”.
That afternoon, they guy texted me and that evening we had a quick chat. At the end we agreed to meet on the following Sunday afternoon for a quick drink (I said that I have a family get together to go to, so couldn’t be long ... good bloody job as it turned out). We arranged to meet at a pub that he thought was somewhere between where we both lived. In reality, it was near to where he lived, but I didn’t mind, I knew where it was and knew it was a safe place.
I got there bang on time, tottered up to the front door and he was actually waiting outside. Good job really because I’d never have recognised him from the description the agency gave me of him (I had tried to look at his picture online, but he didn’t have one. Now I know why ...). He was about 5’9”, now I’m 5’6” and always wear 5” heels so anything under 5’10” is not ideal, he was, erm, how can I put it nicely ... FAT ... and yes he was blonde (I’d said that I didn’t mind about hair colour), but he also had a huge bald patch on the back of his head (think Friar Tuck from Robin Hood and you get the idea), he was wearing a band tour t-shirt (now that in itself I have no problem with, however ... ) with a zip up cardigan (now I’m not talking trendy zip up cardi here ... I’m talking ‘Granddad’ zip up cardi) he also word baggy, misshapen jeans and tennis pumps. Now, I know that look can actually look good on some guys ... on this guy ... no ... he was F.A.T.!!!!!!
Now, before you start thinking, “Ewwww she’s a bit picky and shallow” let’s go back to what I put on my form – the form I filled out when I joined the agency ... you know, the agency I’m paying a lot of money to and I had complete a comprehensive questionnaire for, as well as sitting though at least an hour’s worth of their questioning to ensure that they “matched me up with the right people” – yeah, that agency:
Hair colour No preference
Hair type Full head of hair
Body type Athletic/Slim/Average
Height 5’10 and above
Nowhere, absolutely nowhere, I mean nowhere do I recall putting:
Hair type Full head of hair with a bald patch at the back reminiscent of Friar Tuck, Robin Hood’s mate
Body type FAT
Height Think ‘Santa’s little helper’
OMG – shoot me now! Well I was in and outta there quicker than a fiddler’s elbow. My diet coke didn’t even touch the sides.
As you can imagine, I rang the agency first thing the next day and gave them what for. Not that they were bothered. As far as they were concerned, they were fulfilling their quota (I forgot to mention that in their terms and conditions, they agreed to offer a certain number of matches for your consideration – not their fault if you don’t like the people when you meet them - and there’s the catch ladies and gents!).
It was a few weeks before I heard from the agency again. I’ll tell you about the next one tomorrow. Must fly now because I’m starving (well not literally ... obviously ... but I am very hungry). Until next time lovely people, be fabulous!
Lots of love
Jx
PS I forgot to mention that the ageny never took up my references (I know that because I ran the department that would have received the request. So if they didn't do it for me, they probably don't do it for anyone!)
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