The Dating Agency - Part 2

OK, so yesterday I told you about how I got to join a dating agency, the process of joining the agency and my first date.  Today I’m going to tell you about Date No 2 (I only had 3 all in all ... I’ll tell you about that tomorrow)...

Weeks after my first ‘Date’ (if you can call it that) I got a phone call from the agency to say that one of their members was interested in meeting me and he was a really good match.  They kind of half apologised for delay in getting back to me with another match, but said they were finding it hard to match me with my criteria (story of my life ... I’ve never really liked that word ‘compromise’ ... I don’t really do ‘compromise’ that word makes me shudder), however, they thought this guy was ideal. 

They ran through his details: good job, over 6’, full head of hair etc etc etc  (I’m actually finding that a man with a full head of hair who is over 40 is quite the exception ... I hadn’t really noticed this until I started internet dating and had access to the pictures of lots of over 40’s men ... my dad’s in his early 70’s and still has a full head of hair, so it’s never really occurred to me that people lose it ... anyway I’m digressing again). I double checked, as much as I could, that they were telling me the truth and they assured me they were.  I told them that they could give the guy my number.  This time when I checked him out online, he had a picture and looked quite nice.  Bonus!

The next day, he texted me, then we had a quick phone call.  He seemed nice.  He seemed normal.  Operative word ‘seemed’!  We arranged to meet on a Sunday morning, for coffee, at a local hotel that I know has a large bar/lounge area that I sometimes use for business meetings.  I turned up, hair all big and curly, huge heels (as usual), nice makeup (paired down cos it was a Sunday morning after all), skinny jeans and a oversized slouchy type thin knit – perfect for a Sunday morning.  I walked into the lounge and spotted him straight away.

This ‘lounge’ area is a typical hotel lounge.  You know the type, a mixture of settees, armchairs, hard chairs, small tables, tall tables ... a real mixture so you can choose depending on the type of meeting your having.  Well, this guy had chosen to position himself (I say ‘positioned’, but you should read ‘sprawled’) across a two seater settee.  Picture it ... he’s sitting square in the middle of it, with both arms outstretched across the back of it, one ankle on the other knee with all his tackle there to be seen.  Nice! (That’s a joke by the way ... the ‘nice’ bit!)

Now, I don’t know if you know anything about body language (unfortunately, I’m a bit of an expert), but that whole posture – the outstretched arms and the crotch of full display – absolutely screams “I love me, who do you love? ... and just look at my big crotch ... I’m virile and I know it ... come and get it baby!”

Well, if I’m entirely honest, that posture was enough to make me turn and run ... but no, I thought, give him a chance ... he might be really nice.  Now, because of the way the seating was arranged, I had to sit opposite him over a small coffee type table, on a hard tall backed chair (think dining chair ... you know, straight up and really uncomfortable so you end up perched on the end of it).  So, there’s him, sprawled across a comfy couch with me sitting opposite, perched on the edge of a considerably higher straight backed chair.  I can’t begin to tell you how uncomfortable I felt ... and I knew he knew how uncomfortable I was and I think he was loving every minute of it.  He had a kind of cocky grin on his face.  Oh, and before I sat down, he looked me up and down, not one of those little quick glances that someone hopes you don’t spot, but a full on slow gaze from feet to head.  Ewwwwwwwwwww, creepy b*****d.  Everything about the situation was screaming at the to “Run Forest, Run!”

Pretty much straight way the waitress came over and I ordered coffee, he then launched into telling me about his experience with the dating agency.  How he had his pick of the women and was going on a different date every day (sometimes more than one date in a day).  I just kinda sat there and listened, taking it all in (and actually, if I’m honest, thinking, “Tosser” – if you’re not British, you probably won’t get that term ... but let me tell you, it’s no term of endearment!).  When he’d finished telling me how many million dates he’d been on and was going on, together with how wonderful he was, he asked, “OK, so you’re blonde, slim and tall, what’s wrong with you that you can’t find a man?”

Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather ... I was totally shocked!  Now I can think of a million things I could say to him like eg “It’s difficult when the world’s filled with assholes like you” (I think that’s my favourite), but I was so shocked and he caught me so off guard that I just shrugged!  I just shrugged! OMG ... you don’t need to say anything, I’m stunned and annoyed at myself enough.  But as I say, he shocked the life out of me and I’m not always that good with words when I’m caught off guard ... well not in my personal life anyway ... don’t seem to have any problem in business.

Needless to say, after that, I was pretty much out of there.  However, the story doesn’t end there.  I mumbled that I needed to be somewhere and he said he’d walk me to my car ... again, why I didn’t say don’t bother, I don’t really know.  Anyway, he did, but as we walked towards my car, I stumbled and actually fell over (I can’t believe I’m telling you this bit ... it’s a bit embarrassing really).  What did he do?  Laughed.  He just stood there and laughed.  A guy who was walking past stopped and helped me up.  I didn’t say a word to the other idiot – just gave him a dirty look, thanked the guy who’d helped me, got into my car and drove away.  As I was driving home, my arm began to hurt more and more and to cut a long story short, turns out I’d broken my elbow!

The next day, with a very painful elbow, I again rang the agency and told them what I thought of my ‘date’ and how arrogant and nasty he was.  Their reaction, “Oh that’s strange, no-one else has said that about him, everyone seems to quite like him”.  I’m just not even going to go there with what I said to them or what my mood was like afterwards or what I thought about the women who “quite like him” ... although the word ‘desperate’ did come to mind!

So that, lovelies, is tale No 2.  I have one more to tell you about, which I’ll do tomorrow.  But here’s the heads up ... that didn’t end well either!  Until then lovely people, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx