Day 5 - The Body Holiday - Le Sport

(I wrote this on Day 5 of my holiday ...)

Ok so, this is gonna be a quickie cos I've got one hell of a hangover and I have to get up and get to breakfast (well, I say breakfast, but I doubt I'll be eating much ... I'm still shuddering at the amount I drank last night!)

So, what did I get up to yesterday ... Well, I changed my Aloe Vera wrap (which is great for skin that’s been a bit too long in the sun) for a massage because I thought it would be more beneficial, what with me not really being in the sun since I got here, but boy am I regretting that decision now!

For years I've had problems with my back and when I have a massage (especially when I'm here in St Lucia, because the therapists are so amazing) I always ask them to go as deep as they need to in order to iron out the knots ... and there are a lot of them (knots I mean).  Quite often when you get a massage at home it's so light, it's like being tickled ... I can't see the point in paying good money for that.

Well, giving my allotted therapist that little bit of info was like opening the flood gates.  Boy did she go to town and dig deep ... and boy did it hurt.  I didn't really say anything at the time, I just kept thinking, "It'll be over in a bit ... It'll be over in a bit and it must be doing me good ... Just go with it!"

Afterwards I've never been so relieved for a massage to be over!  I could hardly walk when I came out and was all a bit dazed and confused (I mean more than normal!) and today, I have the beginnings of huge bruises appearing on my arms and OMG they're so painful! Ouch ... I hate to think what they'll be like in a couple of days ... I look like I’ve gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.  Ho hum.

On to brighter things, the sun has shone without a cloud in the sky yesterday ... my first full sunny day, and how wonderful it was.  Julie and I had lil swim out to the donuts today (they are floating sunbeds - hard around the outside with what looks like trampoline tarpaulin in the middle.  Well, if you could have seen us trying to climb on board, it was bloody hysterical!  Like bloody mermaids we were ... not (think sea lions flopping in and out of the sea and you’ve got the idea ... not attractive ... I’m talking for myself here obviously, not Julie!  It was hugely unattractively and only marginally better getting out and off it than getting in, all legs a kimbo! 

Julie got out before me and left me in it for a while.  When I decided to get off, I couldn't figure out how to do it.  I said to the bloke in the one next to mine, "hey love, how do you get off this bloody thing? Do you dive in or what?" Well needless to say, he wasn't any help so I tried to be as dainty as possible and kind of slide off ... Actually that sounds far more graceful than it was, it was more of a 'flop' and it ended up with a mouthful of sea water ... nice!

We had a really good giggle last night, not least when we'd had our meal (there's a fab gang of about 10 of us) had a boogie to a really good band in The Club House and when they finished, we retired to the piano bar.  Well, when we got in there, there was a couple who were singing operatic type songs (you know the sort of thing ... Gilbert and Sullivan type stuff).  Now, I hate any type of amateur dramatics with a vengeance.  I’m not even sure that ‘hate’ is a strong enough word to describe how I feel about it ... loath might be better or detest ... detest, loathe and hate come pretty close to how I feel.  My mum did it for about 30 years and I really can't abide it - as you can imagine when we were kids, we were dragged along and made to watch every piss poor production that they did (sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true!).  I was also made to witness all the back biting, premadonnas, everyone vying for 'the best roles and to be top dog and dissing everyone else.  In my opinion, a truly horrible environment ... anyway, I think you're getting the picture here (I’m getting wound up even thinking about it). Well, as a result I totally hate anything that even remotely reminds me of that.

These to idiots were that personified.  The Bar was packed and I swear these two thought that we were all there to watch them.  They sang song after song, doing all the movements as they went, singing to other with gross exaggerated ‘stage’ movements ... dear got in heaven above, it was painful.  The worst part is that you could see that EVERYONE in the room had had enough and were getting restless.  After about half an hour of their, erm performance, you could have cut he atmosphere with a knife.

Lovely Julie couldn't bear it anymore and headed over to piano to try and find some other songs.  Lynne (one of the other girls in our lil group) went and told the pianist that everyone was pissed off and he said, give me other songs and I'll play them.  Meanwhile, poor Julie was being given daggers by these idiots.

Well it all became a bit too much for me.  I marched over to some people who I knew had been looking at an Adele song book, asked them for it, opened it at 'someone Like You' and plonked it in front of the pianist the minute their final warble was finished.  The minute he started playing ‘Someone like you’, the atmosphere changed and EVERYONE stood up and started singing.  It was really quite extraordinary!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an immediate change in atmosphere.  It all of a sudden became light and fun.  It was wonderful.

Those two tried to sing a couple of Adele songs in their operatic tone (I hate that ... people who sing pop songs all operatic ... gives me the shudders) but were completely drowned out by everyone else.  It was fab.  Not long after, because they were no longer the centre of attention, they slunk off – after giving us daggers that is.  Nutters.

I’m glad to say that we didn’t hear them again.  Well, I kinda did.  At dinner the next night, I had to go back to my room for something and happened to pass the piano bar and I could hear them warbling.  I didn’t mind that though, cos the bar was empty and they were bugging anyone else (apart from the pianist ... I’m guessing that though ... he may have liked it!).

I think that night was the latest I’ve been to bed.  We had a really lovely night.  Right wonderful people, I’m off for brekkie and to nurse my hangover.  Tune in tomorrow for more escapades.  Until then, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx