Hello
lovelies. Well, the last post I did was
the last bit of writing I did whilst I was on holiday and I’ve got to be
honest, not an awful lot happened after that ... every day was pretty much the
same as I put in the itinerary in my last post with very little drama or
deviation. I think that’s probably a
good thing if you look back at some of the other stuff that’s happened while I’ve
been on other holidays. There was one
negative incident, but you know what? I
really don’t feel in a negative mood, so I’m gonna park that one.
The
only thing of note was the journey home.
I left on the mini bus with Tanya and her friends on our 1.5 hour
journey to the airport. I really don’t
mind that length of time because you get to see a good deal of the island (it’s
only 27 miles long but the roads are really winding) and I never get tired of
it. When we got to the airport, our
plane was delayed (only by half an hour), we went through security and Tanya
and her friends toddled off into business class while I waited with the rest of
the great unwashed. I was a bit gutted
actually and I’ve vowed that that ain’t gonna happen again!
Time
passed quite quickly though. I read the ‘Fifty
Shades’ saga while I was away. I’m sure
you must have heard of these books. They’re
written by an English housewife and originally took the US by storm. At the moment, all 3 books are the top of the
paperback and download lists in both the US and UK. Basically, they can only be described as soft
porn – there is quite a decent story behind all the sex though and I have to be
honest, I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but by the time I got
towards the middle of third book I was skipping the sex bits because they were
too repetitive and rather samey. I was
actually thinking, “Oh for God’s sake ... not again!”
The
heroine’s breath ‘hitched’ just once too many times for my liking and I kinda
couldn’t wait for the series to be over.
Not that I didn’t enjoy them, I did ... but it all got a bit too
predictable. It was funny; I think we
calculated that every third woman at the resort was reading the first book, ‘Fifty
Shades of Grey’. I’ve never seen so many
people reading the same book at the same time.
I can’t tell you how many conversations I had with people during the
holiday that were reading it, had read it or were planning on reading it. I’ve never seen that before.
In
case you’ve been living under a rock somewhere and haven’t heard about these
books ... they are written by E L James and the three books are:
Fifty
Shades of Grey
Fifty
Shades Darker
Fifty
Shades Freed
Basically,
they follow the story of a young, handsome millionaire who has lots of secrets
in his past which have led him to be a bit of a sexual deviant ... he meets
this young woman ... and I’m not saying anymore in case I ruin it for anyone.
Apparently,
these books are such a hit in the US, that there have been TV programmes
dedicated to talking about the sex scenes in them; women have also been giving
the books to their partners in order to help spice up their sex lives! Amazing.
Now, I’m not saying they’re the best things I’ve ever read ... far from
it. The English isn’t brilliant (OK, I
can talk, but I’m not writing a book here ... I’m writing a blog) they’re a bit
repetitive (as I’ve already said) but they are a great beach read. Oh, and they're making a film of the book ... really don't know how they're gonna do that with all that sex! Hmmmm it'll be interesting.
OK,
so back to the airport ... I was finishing off the last ‘Fifty’ book and also
decided to dive into my emails which I hadn’t touched since I got to St
Lucia. With both of those things, the 3
hours I had until the flight went pretty quickly. The flight, I’m pleased to say was only 7.5
hours instead of the normal 9.5 hours (unusual tail winds ... yay!). I did try to get my usual extra leg room, but
it wasn’t available, so I got stuck in cattle class on the end of a 3 – luckily
it was the aisle seat though, so it wasn’t all bad ... apart from when a fat
bloke in the seat in front of me trod on my toe. Boy did it bleed when I got home ... Ouch.
For
some reason, I didn’t manage to sleep though.
Not even half an hour, which is not like me at all. I watched a few films (you know how I love
films), but apart from watching the Marigold Hotel again, I can’t really
remember what I watched. We landed
safely back at Gatwick airport ... I had an hour before my next flight, which
was perfect, not too much of a rush and all was great until I landed back in
Manchester.
Due
to those amazing tail winds, we landed in 10 minutes early and really
unusually, my luggage was already on the belt when I came through to collect
it. So I was actually out of the
terminal exactly when the plane should have landed, 11.25 am.
“Yay”
thinks me, “I’ll be home for 12.00” I rang the taxi driver as we’d agreed ...
the conversation went something like this:
“Hi
Andy ... its Jx ... I’m here”
“You’re
where?”
“Outside
the terminal”
“Outside
the terminal?”
“Yeah. The plane was getting in at 11.25 ... it’s
11.25. Where are you?”
“Erm,
I’m just setting off”
“YOU’RE
JUST SETTING OFF!!!!”
“Well,
you said the plane was only landing at 11.25”
“It’s
11.25!!!”
“Well
usually, it takes half an hour for you to clear out of the terminal after
landing”
“Not
on a domestic flight”
“Oh”
“Where
are you? Can you please come and get me?”
(Oooooh I was so angry by this point)
“Yes”
“Right
then ... be as quick as you can”
“Er,
right”
Phone
down.
Now,
from where I live to the airport, it takes at least 40 minutes. So even if he was planning on being half an
hour late for me, he should have left at least 10 minutes ago. What time did he arrive? 12.30 ....
12.30!!!!! OMG I can’t even begin to
tell you how angry I was. He obviously
hadn’t even come straight to get me when we finished our conversation,
otherwise he’d have been there are 12.05.
I was livid ... I don’t get angry very often, but boy, I was hopping mad. Oh, and I must mention here that it was
pouring down with rain and only about 10C/50F ... I was wearing a maxi dress,
flip flops and a cardi.... brrrrrrrrrrr, I was turning blue! I hadn’t gone back inside the terminal
because I didn’t want to miss him.
I
marched over to him, as determinedly as I could with two cases and a heavy
handbag and I gave him a few choice words, telling him how disappointed I
was. We get into the car and he proceeds
to ask me if I’d had a good holiday! FFS
... you really don’t wanna mess with me when I’ve been travelling for 20 hours
and not slept for at least 27. I’m
usually quite a pleasant, nice, jovial person ... however, due to the circumstances;
I was like the Wicked Witch of the West on acid. Not a pleasant sight to behold. We drove the whole way in complete and very awkward
silence. When we got to mine, I darted
out of the car and opened the door while he sheepishly got my luggage out of
the trunk.
Did
I give him a tip? No bloody way. I felt slightly self satisfied because on the
way there, I didn’t have any money to give him for a tip (although I did pay
the £70 - $110 – return fare when he originally dropped me at the airport) and
said I’d give him a double tip on the way home.
So he did himself out of a nice fat tip.
Ho
hum. I’ve never been so glad to get back
home. I literally got in and went to bed
for a couple of hours. Then my dad came
round for a visit, I caught up on some TV and went to bed about 10.00 pm and slept
right through until 11.30 am the next day!
I must have needed it, but I felt groggy for the rest of the day (I went
for my nails and hair done ... priorities ladies!) I think I must have drunk a
vat of black coffee!
Anyway,
that’s enough for now, it’s getting late and I need my beauty sleep (now that’s
an understatement). I’ll catch up on the
week’s news tomorrow and I have some film reviews to do. I missed a few new big summer films while I
was away so I’ve been catching up at the cinema over the last couple of days. So far I’ve seen MIB3, The Pact, Rock of Ages
and Snow White and the Huntsman. Tomorrow,
I’m actually taking my dad to see the Dalai Lama in Manchester... well, it is
Father’s Day and we both think it’ll be rather cool! So, until next time, enjoy the rest of the
evening and be fabulous.
Lots
of love
Jx
No comments:
Post a Comment