Day 6 - The Body Holiday - Le Sport

(Written on Day 6 of my jolly holibobs ...)

Hello lovelies.  I'm actually writing this in the evening rather than the morning today, so it'll be cramming two days in to one.

Well first off my bruises are even worse today ... I look thoroughly battered! Yesterday, I had another full body massage but had to tell the therapists not to touch my arms because they were so sore.  It was still a fab massage though, much better than the hurty one. 

Actually, looking back it was probably one of the quietest, without incident days I've had since I got here. Bliss!  One really good thing that happened was that my fabulous friend Tanya arrived with some of her friends. She's so lovely and I haven't seen her for a year, since I was here last time, so it was wonderful to see her and have a catch up.  Last night I had far too much to drink and really couldn't face getting up this morning to write my blog, hence why I'm writing it now.

Today, I had yet another fully body massage and again, there isn’t much else to report.  The weather was brilliant and I drank far too much again.  So rather than writing nothing, I thought I’d give you what seems to be the itinerary for each day:

8.00 Breakfast

9.00 Treatment

10.30 Beach

11.00 Pims and cold towel on the beach

11.30 Strawberry daiquiri

12.00 Strawberry daiquiri

1.00 Lunch and ‘champagne pick me ups’ (my brand new drink find - its fruit juices with the champers)

2.00 Beach

3.00 Home made ice-cream on the beach

3.15 Pims and cold towel

5.00 Club House and as many champagne pick me ups as I fancy

6.30 Room, shower, get ready

7.30 Piano Bar, more champagne pick me ups

8.00 Dinner more champagne cocktails

9.30 Club House - dancing and champagne

11.00 Piano bar and champagne

Anytime after that ... bed!

One of the new girls Fiona who came yesterday said to me tonight, do you get panicky when you start to come to the end of a glass and the waiter hasn't lined your next one up in front of you?  I don't think I've seen you yet without a glass in your hand!" PMSL .... I thought that was funny ... an accurate observation but funny.

The waiters here are amazing, they memorise what you're drinking and literally, you hardly have to order cos they watch when you're running low and have another in front of you before you finish the last!  My idea of bliss!

Well, sorry it’s a quickie lovelies, but I really am struggling to see the screen ... obviously that due to tiredness and not the huge amount of champers I’ve drunk!  Until next time, have a fabulous day ... be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Day 5 - The Body Holiday - Le Sport

(I wrote this on Day 5 of my holiday ...)

Ok so, this is gonna be a quickie cos I've got one hell of a hangover and I have to get up and get to breakfast (well, I say breakfast, but I doubt I'll be eating much ... I'm still shuddering at the amount I drank last night!)

So, what did I get up to yesterday ... Well, I changed my Aloe Vera wrap (which is great for skin that’s been a bit too long in the sun) for a massage because I thought it would be more beneficial, what with me not really being in the sun since I got here, but boy am I regretting that decision now!

For years I've had problems with my back and when I have a massage (especially when I'm here in St Lucia, because the therapists are so amazing) I always ask them to go as deep as they need to in order to iron out the knots ... and there are a lot of them (knots I mean).  Quite often when you get a massage at home it's so light, it's like being tickled ... I can't see the point in paying good money for that.

Well, giving my allotted therapist that little bit of info was like opening the flood gates.  Boy did she go to town and dig deep ... and boy did it hurt.  I didn't really say anything at the time, I just kept thinking, "It'll be over in a bit ... It'll be over in a bit and it must be doing me good ... Just go with it!"

Afterwards I've never been so relieved for a massage to be over!  I could hardly walk when I came out and was all a bit dazed and confused (I mean more than normal!) and today, I have the beginnings of huge bruises appearing on my arms and OMG they're so painful! Ouch ... I hate to think what they'll be like in a couple of days ... I look like I’ve gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.  Ho hum.

On to brighter things, the sun has shone without a cloud in the sky yesterday ... my first full sunny day, and how wonderful it was.  Julie and I had lil swim out to the donuts today (they are floating sunbeds - hard around the outside with what looks like trampoline tarpaulin in the middle.  Well, if you could have seen us trying to climb on board, it was bloody hysterical!  Like bloody mermaids we were ... not (think sea lions flopping in and out of the sea and you’ve got the idea ... not attractive ... I’m talking for myself here obviously, not Julie!  It was hugely unattractively and only marginally better getting out and off it than getting in, all legs a kimbo! 

Julie got out before me and left me in it for a while.  When I decided to get off, I couldn't figure out how to do it.  I said to the bloke in the one next to mine, "hey love, how do you get off this bloody thing? Do you dive in or what?" Well needless to say, he wasn't any help so I tried to be as dainty as possible and kind of slide off ... Actually that sounds far more graceful than it was, it was more of a 'flop' and it ended up with a mouthful of sea water ... nice!

We had a really good giggle last night, not least when we'd had our meal (there's a fab gang of about 10 of us) had a boogie to a really good band in The Club House and when they finished, we retired to the piano bar.  Well, when we got in there, there was a couple who were singing operatic type songs (you know the sort of thing ... Gilbert and Sullivan type stuff).  Now, I hate any type of amateur dramatics with a vengeance.  I’m not even sure that ‘hate’ is a strong enough word to describe how I feel about it ... loath might be better or detest ... detest, loathe and hate come pretty close to how I feel.  My mum did it for about 30 years and I really can't abide it - as you can imagine when we were kids, we were dragged along and made to watch every piss poor production that they did (sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true!).  I was also made to witness all the back biting, premadonnas, everyone vying for 'the best roles and to be top dog and dissing everyone else.  In my opinion, a truly horrible environment ... anyway, I think you're getting the picture here (I’m getting wound up even thinking about it). Well, as a result I totally hate anything that even remotely reminds me of that.

These to idiots were that personified.  The Bar was packed and I swear these two thought that we were all there to watch them.  They sang song after song, doing all the movements as they went, singing to other with gross exaggerated ‘stage’ movements ... dear got in heaven above, it was painful.  The worst part is that you could see that EVERYONE in the room had had enough and were getting restless.  After about half an hour of their, erm performance, you could have cut he atmosphere with a knife.

Lovely Julie couldn't bear it anymore and headed over to piano to try and find some other songs.  Lynne (one of the other girls in our lil group) went and told the pianist that everyone was pissed off and he said, give me other songs and I'll play them.  Meanwhile, poor Julie was being given daggers by these idiots.

Well it all became a bit too much for me.  I marched over to some people who I knew had been looking at an Adele song book, asked them for it, opened it at 'someone Like You' and plonked it in front of the pianist the minute their final warble was finished.  The minute he started playing ‘Someone like you’, the atmosphere changed and EVERYONE stood up and started singing.  It was really quite extraordinary!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an immediate change in atmosphere.  It all of a sudden became light and fun.  It was wonderful.

Those two tried to sing a couple of Adele songs in their operatic tone (I hate that ... people who sing pop songs all operatic ... gives me the shudders) but were completely drowned out by everyone else.  It was fab.  Not long after, because they were no longer the centre of attention, they slunk off – after giving us daggers that is.  Nutters.

I’m glad to say that we didn’t hear them again.  Well, I kinda did.  At dinner the next night, I had to go back to my room for something and happened to pass the piano bar and I could hear them warbling.  I didn’t mind that though, cos the bar was empty and they were bugging anyone else (apart from the pianist ... I’m guessing that though ... he may have liked it!).

I think that night was the latest I’ve been to bed.  We had a really lovely night.  Right wonderful people, I’m off for brekkie and to nurse my hangover.  Tune in tomorrow for more escapades.  Until then, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

Day 4 - The Body Holiday - Le Sport

(Written on Day 4 of my jolly holiday)

Well its 6.00 am again ... unfortunately the weather only marginally improved.  I probably got a total of 2 hours in the sun yesterday.  It was really weird actually; it would be baking hot sun one minute and like Armageddon the next!

One of the lovely ladies I met here that I told you about in another post, Julie, came up with a genius idea the first time it bucketed down ... "Let's go in the Jacuzzi! We'll be wet from the bottom up anyway, so the rain's not gonna matter!"  I thought that was rather inspired myself!

Genius, bloody genius.  We settled in, ordered a couple of strawberry daiquiris (well it was 11.30!) and watched the world go by.  She's fab Julie.  Wonderful sense of humour.  We actually just giggled and drank daiquiris for an hour. Lovely.

That evening, we were all going on a sunset cruise.  The hotel puts on a cruise at 4.30 every Friday night for customers.  When I was here last year it was only for return guests but I believe it’s open to everyone now.  It's actually (as you would imagine) just an excuse for a piss up.  I went on it when I was here last year, although it was my first time at the resort, I pulled some strings as you do and it was fabulous.  A mini bus picks us up and drives us 5 minutes down the coast to the marina where we catch the boat.  The boat then sails back up the coast to the hotel's bay and mores there while much drinking and merriment is had by all.  It also includes the obligatory 'formation' dancing to tunes like 'The Dollar Song' (if you've ever been to the Caribbean you'll know that one) and of course, watching the sunset.

Last time was fabulous.  The weather was amazing and the sunset beautiful.  This time ... it pissed it down the whole time.  I don't think I could have got any wetter if I'd swam alongside the boat – the rain was coming in horizontally!  I was a bit disappointed at first, more so because I'd just spent half an hour trying to dry my hair straight, combating the mad humidity.  However, we still had a fabulous time (I've laughed so much on this holiday) and I really enjoyed it, in spite of the wet.  Everyone is so lovely here, I’ve met some wonderful people - no wonder 85% of the hotel's business is from returning customers.

Boy was the champers and rum punch flowing on that lil trip.  So much so that when we came into the bay, they took the boat in as near to the shore as possible and one of the bar men waded out from the hotel with another box full of champagne!  I love that ... completely fabulous.

When we got back, despite being slightly bedraggled and rather damp, our little gang headed off to the Club House for a BBQ which was unbelievable yum.  A meat eater’s idea of paradise.

I drank far more than usual last night.  When I realised that I really couldn't get any more 'thin' liquid down me ie wine, I had an inspired moment and went back on the strawberry daiquiris. However, when the second one came, it was so loaded with alcohol that I couldn't taste the strawberry ... that's when I felt a bit woosey and decided it was time to go to bed.

Today, I haven't looked outside so I don't know what the weather’s doing yet.  Hopefully it'll pick up.  My 9 am treatment is an Aloe Vera Body-wrap which should be nice.  I booked it because I thought I would have had two days sun by now and my body might need a bit of a cuddle from the aloe, but hay ho, it'll be nice anyhow.

Yesterday's lime and ginger body scrub was good.  I thought my skin was already exfoliated to within an inch, but after having had that treatment ... it really wasn't.  It's wonderfully smooth now and I still have some of the false tan left on too!  Not too shabby even though I say so myself.

Right lovelies, that's me for another day.  More tomorrow, until then, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

Day 3 - The Body Holiday - Le Sport

(Written on Day 3 of my jolly holidays ...)

Morning lovelies.  It's 6.00 am again and I'm wide awake.  Yesterday was a bit of an odd day ... It rained from beginning to end and when I say rained I mean torrential rain!  I don't mind at though in the Caribbean, just as long as it doesn't do it every day.

It always makes me laugh when I hear people moaning that it's raining when they come to the Caribbean.  I ask them why they chose to come here in the first place and invariable they say it's because it's so beautiful, lush and green plus the colours are so vibrant.  How the hell do they think that happens if they aren't expecting to encounter rain?  If it didn't rain almost every day, the place would look like Tenerife!

Yesterday was a bit different though, it hammered down all day.  It didn't bother me though, after I'd finished writing, I went down for a spot of breakfast (I had intended not to have anything cos I'd had fruit in my room, but when I saw what they had on offer, I really couldn't resist.)  Then I went for my first treatment, a full body massage, which was amazing.  I'm quite sore today actually because the therapist worked on my knots so hard!  It's a good hurt though, if that makes sense.  After that, I went back to my room, showered to get rid of the oil and optimistically applied my sunscreen.  I then bobbed on a bikini and matching sarong and headed to the Club House where I found the largest, comfiest sofa I could and plonked myself down.  And there I stayed reading and chatting with people until lunchtime.

It was lovely actually, I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was very relaxing and I met some lovely people and had quite a giggle.  And when did I commence on the bubbles? That would have been about 11.30, when one of the girls, Julie, declared it time ... I wasn't going to argue with that one!

At 1.00 pm I had lunch with Toby the therapist I was telling you about yesterday, and then I spent the rest of the afternoon right back in the same seat I'd been in all morning.

Now, I've got to be honest, towards the end of the afternoon I was getting a bit nervous about my case.  The day before I'd been promised that it would be in my room for 4.00 pm, so I thought I'd give it to 4.30 and then go and check.  Well, when 4.00 pm came, I really couldn’t bear the suspense anymore so practically ran to my room.  As I was on my way, I noticed wheel marks on the floor going into the lift and my spirits were considerably lifted thinking that it was the wheel marks from my case.  I charged to my room, threw open the door and .... to my dismay found that it wasn’t there!

OMG I thought I was going to faint!  I just stood with my hand on the door knob trying to steady myself.  A million things ran though my mind ... "How the hell will I replace everything?" "I've collected all those clothes from all over the world, I'll never be able to replace them and if I could, I can't bear to think about how much it would cost!" “I've got no hair brush!"

I think at that point, if I'd have had someone with me, I'd have needed a slap to bring me out of my panic.  When I came round to my senses, I ran back down to reception and asked them to find out what was going on.  The concierge said that they had had confirmation that my case was on the plane in the morning which should have landed by now, and she would ring and see where it was.  I felt slightly better at this point.

She made the call in front of me and was told that the bag was in the country, that it would be put on a taxi immediately and would reach the hotel by 6 at the latest. I thanked the lady profusely and headed back to the bar for another drink to calm me nerves (well what else could I do?).  At about 6.30, I headed back to my room full of optimism that my beautiful new shiny leopard print case would be waiting there for me.  I tentatively opened the door and peered around it ... No case!

I swear my heart stopped for a second and I did a little swoon (not a good one!).  I headed back to reception and I've got to be honest, this time the concierge looked worried.  She actually left me in reception and went to make a call in the office this time, which worried me more!  I sat down literally with my head in my hands with all sorts of thoughts running through my head, when I happened to look round and there was a complete vision of loveliness, my case being wheeled in by a rather lovely taxi driver! Oh dear God, how I stopped myself from flinging my arms around the guy and planting a mahoosive kiss on him I'll never know.

Phew!  The porter took my case to my room, I quickly unpacked and got ready for the evening.  I had dinner at the communal table with about 15 other singles who were all either from Canada or the UK and actually had a rather pleasant evening.  I didn't stay out too long (I'm not much of a party animal anymore) so about 11 pm I made my excuses and came back to my room.

Earlier that evening, when the maid came to turn down the bed, she left a little Chinese tea pot with some herbal tea.  When I looked at it, it was to calm the tummy.  So I made a little pot and it was surprisingly nice and it did indeed calm my tummy (I'm gonna get some of that when I get home), tried to read a bit of my book, but my eyes were closing fast.  I don't know if I was so tired because of jet lag or from the stress on my case debacle, but I slept like a log.

I've never had much trouble sleeping in strange beds ... And before you read that the wrong way, I've spent quite a bit of my career working away from home so you kinda get used to it (*tut – you and your dirty minds*). 

Today I'm happy to say that the weather seems like it might perk up.  I can certainly see bits of blue sky, which is positive, so hopefully I'll get some sun. If not, I'll just do the same as I did yesterday.  It's just nice to be away and in stunning surroundings, whether it's raining or not!

Right lovelies, that's me for another day.  I'm off to get breakfast (actually as I ate so much yesterday, I really am only going to have coffee today) and off for my ginger and lime salt body-scrub.  The only thing with that is that it will undoubtedly remove the remainder of my fake tan so carefully applied before I came away and, as I haven't had the chance to get any sun yet (luckily I tan really quickly when I do see the sun) I'll be like Caspar the Friendly Ghost when I come out ... all pale and uninteresting!  On second thoughts, I may ask can I swap to another massage instead!  The thought of having no colour frightens the life out of my.  My mates say that I'm tanorexic ie I can't bear my natural skin colour and prefer to have what I like to describe as a "healthy glow" at all times!

More holiday updates from me tomorrow. Have a wonderful day and be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

Day 2 - The Body Holiday - Le Sport

Well, it's day two and I'm writing this sitting in bed (my body clock's out and its only 6 am here). Yesterday turned out pretty eventful.  Not only did I have a nightmare catching my plane, but I didn’t catch my luggage at all!

With all the travelling I've done all over the world that has never happened to me before.  I knew it was too good to be true when that BA Rep who sold me the holiday told me that a 45 minute turnaround was manageable!  I'm planning one hell of a complaint letter to BA for when I get back.

That feeling of dread when you're waiting for your case to come through on the carousel is one I never want to experience ever again!  When it was clear that my case was missing, I ran (well hop skipped really cos I was wearing a rather clingy maxi dress) over to the info desk and the women knew who I was. "Your luggage wasn't on the plane Miss" ... Blimey, “no shit Sherlock!”  I had to fill some forms in and she said that my case would be here the next day.  I also got given £35 to buy emergency toiletries (that doesn't even cover 1 of my face creams!).

Now, for some reason (the reason being that I wanted to use the extra 6kg bag allowance to the full!) I'd actually packed a load of stuff in my hand luggage this time, which I never usually do.  I had all my bikinis - obviously THE most important things when there's a beach involved on a holiday - all 14 of them, one for each day (they weigh a ton by the way, with all the embellishments, sequins and bits and bobs) plus some beach dresses, sarongs and kaftans. 

So I wasn't as distressed as I might have been usually.  I also had a couple of tiny suntan lotions which were small enough not to have been confiscated when I did my second run through passport control, thanks to that stupid air steward.  If that hadn't happened, I'd only have needed to buy deodorant. I had a toothbrush and tiny toothpaste from the plane and obviously my bathroom at the hotel is full of luxury bath and shower creams and potions, so not really the end of the world ... I can't believe I'm saying that!

I trudged out of the airport to get the connection to my hotel.  When I went over to the desk, the girls there knew my luggage hadn't arrived.  I thought that was a bit odd, but someone had told them and they were very sorry for me ... which was nice I guess.  It seems everyone knows everything in the Caribbean!

On the transfer, there was only me and a couple from Texas who also had their luggage missing (though they hadn't come from the same airport) apparently it happens more often than you'd think.  The journey to the hotel was OK. The scenery was amazing and the company was good. It just took longer than I expected at 2 hours and I was feeling a bit frazzled and more than a bit fraught when I got here, what from the hassle at the airport and then no luggage...

When got out of the taxi, there was a lovely little welcome committee waiting for me with a cold flannel and a cocktail (God how I love 5*) and one of the ladies also knew that my luggage was missing.  "Don't worry Miss, it will be here tomorrow and we will take care of everything.  All you have to do is enjoy yourself". That I can do!

So I got exported to my room, which is beautiful by the way, and low and behold, was greeted by a fabulous display of exotic flowers, basket of fruit, a bottle of champagne and a tea shirt as a thank you for returning.  Yay! Now that really did make everything OK and certainly made me instantly forget my woes (well nearly).

I promptly unpacked my little case, emptying all my bikinis into a draw (I took a picture of that one cos it made me laugh – they filled a mahoooosive drawer) unpacked the sarongs, beach dresses and kaftans, did a quick change into a fab leopard bikini and matching kaftan and went off to explore - well, really I went off in search of cold champagne!  Priorities.  It's important in times like these to get your priorities right.

Since I was here last time, they've done a massive refurb on the place and it really is beautiful. They've done an amazing job ... Check it out is called Le Sport and is also known as The Body Holiday.  It really is an amazing place.  Absolutely stunning.

So I found the shop, bought some more suntan lotion and deodorant and then headed off to the bar.  When I'd order me champers and taken a huge breath in and out (saying "and relax" to myself) one of the spa therapists that I was friendly with last year and have kept in contact with spotted me and ran over for a hug.  We had a lovely little catch up and arranged to have lunch today.  Then one of the many fitness instructors came over for a chat and I said to him that I recognised one of the women at the bar from last year, so he grabbed me by the hand and took me over to her.  Turns out I do know her from latest year, her name is Julie and we arranged to meet up later.

It was The Manager's Cocktail Party last night which is hosted up at the spa which is totally stunning at night when it's all lit up, it really is beautiful and I told Julie that I wasn't sure I could attend as my luggage hadn't come and I really only had beach dresses which I didn't think would be appropriate.  I said that I'd either meet her at 7.00 pm if I could or at 8.00 pm for dinner. It was 6.00 pm at this point.

She headed off; I finished my third glass of champers and thought I'd better do the same.  I got back to the room and had a good look through the few clothes I did have and found a rather beautiful maxi leopard (you may have guessed that I love leopard print by now) beach dress which is heavily beaded around the neck and thought "perfect". Unfortunately, as it is a beach dress, it's see through.  However, as luck would have it (by a complete fluke actually) I'd packed a black and a nude slip in with the beach stuff and when I tried them on, the black one looked perfect under the dress!  Yay!

You'll never know quite how pleased with myself I was at that moment ... I'm a bloody genius sometimes, even though I say so myself!  I darted into the shower, remembering to keep me face and hair out of it, I really don't have the equipment I need to deal with this amount of hair until my case comes as my hair's very long and blonde if you didn't know and can be a bit unruly without the right products and tools.  I also didn't have any makeup with me apart from powder and lip-gloss so I didn't want to get my face wet and my mascara or run!

I've gotta be honest here, considering my makeup was on for over 24 hours in a number of different atmospheres ie UK early morning, airport, 2 planes, air conditioned taxi and Caribbean humidity, my makeup really stood up to the challenge.  In case you're wondering which miracle products I used ... Smashbox primer, Estée Lauder double wear foundation, Lancôme's Deficils mascara and Lancôme blusher.  True hero products!

I jumped out of the shower, used the hotel's lovely body cream, patted down my face to get rid of shine, cleaned teeth, whacked on some lip-gloss, threw my dress on, gave my hair a quick finger comb (the curls of the morning when I set out where rather nice waves by now) gave myself the once over in the full length mirror (thinking "not too shabby coming from a standing start") and headed off for cocktails!

I had a really lovely night. I met some wonderful people (there are lots of singles here) and also bumped into a few who were here last year too which was nice.  We had cocktails and canapés (actually, I just had champagne and canapés, and then wandered down to dinner at 8.00 pm.   By 9.30, I was starting to feel a little worse for wear (well I had been up for 26 hours by then) and was starting to get a little squiffy from the alcohol, so said my good nights and headed off to bed, took my makeup off, cleaned my teeth and literally fell in to bed and fast asleep.

I woke up, wide wake at 5.30 am, that’s 10.30 am at home, so thought I'd catch up on my blog. So, what's on the agenda today? Well, I don't think I'll have breakfast as I've been eating the fruit from the fruit basket while I've been doing this, so I'll head off for my first spa session at 9.00 am, which happens to be a full body massage ... Nice way to start your first full day on holiday.  Then I'll plonk on the beach, do a bit of reading, may do a bit of snorkelling/swimming and may even do yoga at tea time (provided my case has arrived which has my workout stuff in it). Second thoughts, the chance of me doing yoga when I come off the beach with I could be at a beautiful bar drinking champagne ... The yoga is never gonna win that battle!

Right lovelies, I'm off.  More tomorrow so don't forget to tune in.  Until then, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

Day 1 - The Journey

Well you couldn't expect it to go smoothly could you?  Remember last holiday, my case zip broke when I was lifting it into the taxi?  Well you'll love this one...

When I booked the holiday, I was really dubious because there was only a 45 minute turnaround between landing at Gatwick airport to transferring out to St Lucia.  Usually when I have to do a long haul journey like that, I don't leave anything to chance and go down to London the day before.  However the very 'helpful' BA representative persuaded me that it would be fine and I'd have plenty of time to make the transfer otherwise they wouldn't be able to sell it ... Their computers would say 'No'.

So against my better judgement (and with the thought of saving the hotel fee not to mention the duty free saving ... I can easily spend upwards of £300 in duty free) I decided to go with it.  Mistake, HUGE mistake ... I bloody knew it would be.

Well, the taxi picked me up on time (5am), so far so good.  My beautiful new leopard print suitcases were immaculately packed and stored safely in the trunk of the car. I caught my flight to London easily, having had plenty of time to do a modest duty free shop ... That's when the fun started.

As I tend travel on my own I'm always a little nervous, even more so since I spent two hours one time being grilled by immigration officers after coming back from Dominican Republic.  That really spooked me, not that I'd done anything wrong you understand ... the immigration officers just thought I looked a bit 'guilty' ... I told them that's just the way my face looks and it's from years of having a Victorian style old school Methodist mother and years of Catholic guilt!  So, consequently I always make sure that I abide by the rules ... Suitcases weigh the right amount (usually), liquids in my hand luggage are the correct weight and in a specially designed plastic bag, all paperwork is in order, I arrive at least an hour before I have to etc etc.

Trying to be super efficient on this trip and knowing that my turnaround time was so quick, I booked a seat on the internal flight that was right next to the door so that I could just grab my stuff when we landed and leg it.  I told the air stewards that I needed a quick dart and they were very sympathetic and very helpful (or so I thought).

Now you've gotta remember here that I was already in a bit of a blind panic ... I'm such a control freak so don't always handle personal things (work is a different issue) as calmly as I could, especially when I'm on my own.  The stewards said that I had plenty of time and I  wouldn't need to go through customs again, I just needed to go to 'connections' when I got off the plane.

When the doors were opened, one steward then told me, "Oh you need to get on that bus ... There's a bus that's going to take everyone to the terminal.  You need to get on that"  I said, “Are you sure?”  She said, “Yes, definitely”

Following her instructions, I did exactly as she said (I've got to be honest, like I said, I was in a mild state of panic and didn't look at any signs ... well you’re supposed to trust air stewards!) and went with everyone else onto the bus. 

Biggest mistake EVER!  When I got off the bus and walked into the terminal I recognised it instantly ... ‘the luggage terminal’ and there's only one way out ... Completely Out ie have to go back through passport control to get back in!

In a blind panic, I ran to an attendant and said, "OMG help me, I'm due on a flight in 35 minutes and I need to get back to where I've come from!" His answer, "Tough love, the only way you're going is out!"

I thought I was going to faint.  I literally ran out through customs, dived in the lift (good job I knew where I was going) and got back in the queue to go back in though passport control.  Now, what I'd forgotten is that I had bought some bottles of suntan lotion, some perfume and a couple of other liquid bits when I was at the other airport (obviously not thinking I'd need to go through passport control again) and left them in my mini case and handbag.  It completely slipped my mind that I had them, so I hadn’t put them in the allotted plastic bag.  What did the Control Officers do?  Decided that because I hadn’t done that, they were going to go through EVERYTHING and I mean everything, right down to swabbing my camera and sunglasses for drugs. I don't think I've ever been in such a panic and shock in my life (which obviously made them think I was guilty of something).

They took every little thing out of my case and my bag, running some of it back through the scanners. They wanted to see receipts for everything I'd just bought ... OMG ... I'm writing this on the plane and I've still not calmed down!  When they'd finished, I threw everything back into my case (they confiscated the bigger bottles of stuff) and literally legged it.

As I'm writing this, I still have a nagging feeling that I've left stuff behind ... namely all my bikini bottoms ... Not much I can do about it now ... 37,000 feet in the air! I ran like the clappers (I'm so glad I did all that work in the gym now) and when I finally got to the gate just as they were about to close it, I was having the biggest hot sweat you ever did see!

I'm starting to calm down a bit now. Actually a drink would probably be a good idea,  however, my IBS has kicked off with a vengeance because of the stress of it all so I don't think that's a good idea!  I'm also really hungry, but don't want to risk eating anything in case my belly expands to the size of an 8 month pregnant woman!

Right, I'm off to watch a film and see if I can relax. Blimey, all that excitement and I haven't even got there yet!  More tomorrow lovelies, until then, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jo

Good to be Back!

Hello lovelies!  Have you missed me?  I’ve missed you.

I can’t believe that I’ve had over 350 hits since I’ve been gone and I didn’t even post anything new!  Happy days.  Thank you.

Well, I had a wonderful holiday and for the first 5 days or so I wrote blog content every day.  I started doing it in the morning because I was still suffering from jet lag a bit and tended to wake up about 5.30 am.  However, as the week(s) wore on, I got more and lax ... sorry!  I’ll start posting them tomorrow ... they start with a rather exiting (and not in a good way) trauma at the airport on the way there ... did you really expect it to go smoothly?  But I’m happy to say that things settled down nicely towards the end of the first week, so literally, there wasn’t much to write that wouldn’t have just been repeating myself after that.

The Body Holiday - Le Sport - St Lucia

On the weight thing ... 4lbs is what I put on and I definitely can’t say that was through food ... I was really good and stuck to mostly protein with very (and I mean very) little carbs.  I didn’t do deserts either ... the only bit of sweet stuff I had was the odd homemade ice cream on the beach during the afternoon (very yum I must say ... cherry, strawberry, passion fruit – that was my fav).  So what put the weight on then?  Yep, you guessed ... CHAMPAGNE!  Woooohoooooo!  I was literally never seen without either a ‘Pick me Up’, a very aptly named champagne cocktail, or a strawberry daiquiri in my hand... and I have the pictures to prove it.  I counted one day how many ‘pick me ups’ I’d had that day and I think it was about 12. So besides the calories contained in the champagne I was also consuming the sticky, sugary loveliness they put in with the champagne too!

Calorie wise ... Ouch.  I calculated yesterday how many calories I must have been drinking each day and it couldn’t have been less than 1,200!  I think I have severely pickled liver now.  I’ve just been to the supermarket and bought a load of healthy foodage and I’m off to the gym in a bit.  I was quite determined to do some exercise when I got to the resort (after all it is called Le Sport and it does have a full timetable of wonderful activities each day) but I conveniently forgot my trainers!  I think it must have been a subconscious move.  I was told by a number of the fitness instructors that there were enough activities I could take part in that didn’t require trainers eg beach fitness (*shudder*) but I didn’t take them up on it.  Seemed far too much like hard work.

Still it could have been worse, weigh gain wise.  I could have really gone overboard with the food and put on at least twice that.  Ho hum.  No alcohol again for me for a while ... feel a bit shaky today, I don’t know if it’s jet lag or alcohol withdrawal!

I met some wonderful people on this trip, you’ll hear more about them when I start posting my daily diary (I’ll post lots of pictures of the resort too so that you can see how wonderful it is) and I was really sad to leave.  I’ll definitely be going back, I can highly recommend it.

So what have I been up to since I got back?  Well, not having any sleep on the plane, I slept 12 hours last night and woke up seriously groggy.  I’ve been trying to get all my washing done, but my heating and hot water has packed in ... lovely ... just what you need when you get back from holiday (I can just about get enough hot water for a shower then it shuts off ... that God for small mercies).  I’ve had my nails, eyebrows and pedicure done this morning (gotta get your priorities right), had a phone interview, cleaned the house and now I really must get off to the gym ... can’t put it off any longer!

Tune in tomorrow lovelies to hear about my made journey.  Until then, have a wonderful Friday and be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx