90's Dating Disasters (It's not a new thing!)

I had dinner with a really old friend (she's not really old I have to point out ... before she kills me, we've just known each other for ever) a couple of weeks ago and we were talking about some of the dating disasters I had in my twenties (they aren’t just a new phenomenon!) and she urged me to write a couple of them down.  I have to be honest here, I had thought about it previously but resisted because I think I’m being far too negative about dating (it also makes me sound like quite a saddo) and I am a follower of the law of attraction which basically states, you get more of what you focus on ... I think that’s the reason why I have so many sh*te dates! Lol

However, she convinced me that it was entirely wrong of me not to share more disasters with the world.  In fact, her exact words where, “Aww come on Jx, the world needs more laughs!”  So, without further ado...

90’s Dating Disaster 1

I started seeing a guy that lived in Yorkshire which when you don’t have a car, might as well be on the moon.  I’d been seeing him for around 6 months, however, because of the distance between us (it was probably only about 80 miles, but that’s forever away when you’re young), we’d only see each other every other weekend or so.

Anyway, I was watching breakfast TV one morning; I remember that the programme I was watching was ‘The Big Breakfast’.  On this programme, they always featured a ‘Family of the Week’ and each Monday, they would introduce the family, you know the kind of stuff, who they are, their names, what they do and where they come from.  When it came to the daughter of the family of the week, I remember Chris Evans (the presenter) saying to her, “and what a shame that your boyfriend can’t be here, but still, you’ve brought a picture of him for us to see”

Yep, you guessed it ... MY BOYFRIEND!  Obviously I never saw him again!

90’s Dating Disaster 2

This was a guy I’d been seeing on and off for about 18 months.  It definitely wasn’t love and I wasn’t going to marry him (he really wasn’t marriage material), he was extremely handsome (and boy do I meant handsome) however, he was particularly dumb... definitely a sandwich short of a picnic.

One day a friend of mine rang me in work (this was before mobile phones folks ... remember that?) and said, “Have you seen Hello magazine (or it may have been OK, I can’t remember) this week?” “What?” says I.  “What are you ringing me in work about that for?”  She just told me to buy the magazine on my way home and ring her as soon as I got in.  I asked her repeatedly why, but all she kept saying was “Buy it and ring me.  Promise?”

I finally agreed to do just that and did as she said and bought the magazine on my way home.  As she’d been so insistent that I buy it, I couldn’t wait until I got home to read it, so opened it there and then.  To my horror, a few pages in was a 6 page spread together with full colour photos of my boyfriend who’d seemingly got engaged to a rather popular soap star the previous weekend (when he told me he was working) and they’d obviously sold the rights to their ‘exclusive engagement’ photos, shot at a beautiful bijoux hotel in the country! 

Other pictures included her in a bath full of bubbles and him sitting next to her on the side of the bath in his obligatory fluffy white dressing gown, one of them staring lovingly into each others eyes, one of them strolling hand in hand in the country side (he hated the country) and finally, one of the ring.  That was the funniest, because I'd known him forever and knew that he didn't have a pot to p*ss in and I would say without a shadow of a doubt that she would have bought the ring!

Nice!  He’d been round at mine and we’d been for a meal the night before and he never mentioned a thing.

It didn’t last (as you'd probably guess) and I remember that he sold his story to a tabloid newspaper for £20,000 about 4 months later (told you he wasn’t marriage material – but maybe he wasn’t that dumb after all!).

Awwwww I can laugh now cos it really is funny - in fact, I remember laughing at the time ... again, you can’t make it up!

I’m sure there are more stories, I’ll keep thinking on it and let you know if I come up with any.  Until next time lovelies, I hope you have an amazing weekend ... be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx