Wednesday 16 May 2012

Men's Bits & Bobs


Hello lovelies, well I don’t know what the weather’s like in your part of the world but I’m pleased to say that it’s beautiful here in my little spot of England.  Don’t know how warm it is though ... I’m guessing not very warm at all!

So, diet update.  I’ve only lost another ½ lb but I’m still doing it!  I must admit I struggled a bit last night and this morning with my carb cravings.  I walked into my local supermarket yesterday (I seem to be going on a daily basis at the moment, constantly looking for things that might inspire me) when I was bombarded, even before I got through the mail door, with muffins.  Gorgeous, juicy, tasty, carby, fatty, sugary muffins ... I could even smell them (although that might have been my imagination)! 

Now, like I’ve said before I don’t usually crave stuff like that (remember it was donuts the other day) I’d usually prefer crisps (chips for my American readers) but as I’m eating no carbs, no sugar and no fat ... that’s obviously what my body wants! Ooohhh it’s a tough gig.  However, as I’m still losing, I’m loathed to give it up now, especially as I only have another 6 days to go.  OK, I’ve more than lost the weight I wanted to, but there’s just something that drives you on ... Oh that’ll be the thought of being in a bikini in less than a week!

The one saving grace that I’ve come across during this diet is Lemon Cheesecake no fat yoghurt by Muller Light.  OMG they’re fabulous and I’m sure I would have folded long before now if it weren’t for those little pots of loveliness.  They’re decidedly yum.  My favourite pie is Lemon Meringue and I’ve gotta tell you that these yoghurts are as close as you’re ever gonna get to that scrumy yummy delicacy.  In fact, if I was given one in a fancy glass as a desert after dinner in a nice restaurant, I really wouldn’t turn my nose up.  I love lemon mousse too and these taste just like that but without the fat and the calories (101 in case you were wondering).

OK so, on to other things ... well, related things really.  I just had to mention this ... as I’ve been in the gym much more than I usually would over the last 6 weeks, I seem to have noticed a particular phenomenon that I either I haven’t noticed before, either that or I’d erased it from my memory ... Men adjusting themselves (down there!).

What is it with men when they get into workout gear that makes them have the need to constantly adjust their bits and bobs????? Now, I must point out here that I really don’t go round looking for it, I honestly don’t (although it could be a sub-conscious thing ... but if it was, I’m sure I’d see it outside the gym too but I don’t) I just seem to see it constantly in the gym and I’ve gotta be honest, it makes me cringe a bit, considering they then go on to handle the machines and weights that potentially I’m gonna use right after them.

The extreme example that lead me to mention this was, yesterday I was on the treadmill when this little stocky guy (read short), shaved head, tonnes of tattoo’s walks towards me (towards the treadmills) with his hands down his shorts adjusting himself.  He didn’t give a fig who saw him with both hands down the front of his.  He then proceeded to get on to the treadmill next to me (he was very small by the way ... in height I mean! ... That’s your dirty minds that is) started the treadmill then continued to put both his hands down his shorts again (God only knows what he was doing) for a good minute or more. Not that I was staring or anything, but you can’t really miss something like that when it’s right next to you.

He then took his hands out of his shorts and started messing with the controls on the treadmill.  OMG vom!  I really thought I was gonna be sick.  I looked at him, mustering my most disgusted face and he just smiled a cocky little smile (to give you the full picture, he had two teeth missing and one was gold).   That was it ... off the treadmill I went and did something else.  I don’t know if it’s the diet or what I’d just witnessed but I was feeling very very sick!

I remember seeing ‘Embarrassing Bodies’ one time (that’s a programme in the UK where people take their embarrassing bodily problems to a team of doctors who diagnose their issues and get them treatment) Dr Christian went to a gym and proceeded to take swab samples off machines and people’s juice bottles (the reusable ones that you take home and refill) and sent them away for analysis.

I remember being thoroughly revolted when they presented the results.  All of the swabs that came back (even those from the juice bottles) showing traces of faeces! Ewwwww – he said that was a combination of people not washing their hands when they’d been to the toilet and blokes fiddling with their bits and not washing their hands afterward!

GROSS!  Sorry if I’ve put you off going to the gym now, however, my advice is the minute you leave the gym you shower thoroughly and make sure you put your clothes straight in the wash.  Also, never use those re-usable bottles without bleaching them every time (you just don’t know what germs you’re picking up at the gym) and make sure you wash your hands after using the toilet (can’t believe that you have to say that) and men ... please don’t mess with your bits in the gym.  If you really have to, turn away and don’t do it in full sight ... no one wants to be seeing that!

I think I may give the gym a miss today after that ... I’ve made myself feel rather sick now! Lol

Right lovelies, that’s me for another day ... enjoy the rest of yours and I’ll see you soon.  Until then, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

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