OK,
now before I carry on telling you about Sunday night's date, I have to reiterate
something that I’ve said before...
When I posted about my ‘dating project/cunning
plan’ a couple of days ago (I’ve deleted the seemingly offending bit now, so if you haven’t read it,
sorry) I received a number of messages – all from men – either upset with what
I’d put, or trying to give me advice on where I’m going wrong on my man search
and taking what I’d written far too literally.
Right,
let me say this again for the record...
THIS BLOG IS
INTENDED AS A BIT OF FUN.
I
do it to keep my friends and myself amused and that’s the whole point of
it. No hidden agenda, no outpouring from
my soul, no looking for sympathy. It’s
about making my friends laugh because there simply isn’t enough laughter in the
world. It’s that simple.
In
no way am I ‘broken’ ‘sad’ or ‘lonely’ nor do I need advice on how to find a
man (I know EXACTLY how to find a man thank you, but how much fun would that be
for my readers?). Everything I write here
(whilst true – I don’t make stuff up) is done totally tongue in cheek and in no
way is it truly reflective of my life as a whole. I write about such a tiny part of what goes
on in my life (my good friends will know this) and in no way do I EVER write
anything that’s personal or that is truly important to me.
So
... men ... STOP TAKING THIS BLOG SO SERIOUSLY ... IT’S MEANT TO BE A
LAUGH! (Phew ... FFS ... I just had to get that off my chest).
So on with Sunday night’s date...
I got there early (as I always do) and he arrived on time. We were
meeting at a lovely little country pub that I really like. I go there quite a
bit with friends and family so feel quite safe and at home there. When he walked
over to greet me I was actually pleasantly surprised. He was probably the same
height as me (I had 5 inch heels on, so that’s not too bad) he was probably 5’
10” (tick). He had a pleasant face that I actually found quite attractive (that
doesn’t happen very often) (tick). He was obviously quite nervous cos he just
couldn’t stop talking and seemed quite excited.
We went to the bar, he bought the drinks (tick) and we found some seats.
We had a really good conversation about all kinds of things, including my film
passion (he loves films too – tick) and a whole range of other things. We
talked for about 2 hours (he bought another drink in between – another tick)
time went so quickly and it was all looking very good. In fact, it was the best
date I think I’ve been on for years and I remember thinking “Yay! I actually
fancy him. He’s funny and nice to be with ... jackpot, at last. Woooohooooo!”
The only thing up to that point that I found a little odd was that he
asked me to go to see some comedian with him the following week, said that we
were going to watch The Possession that week even though I told him I’d seen it
twice, that he had loads of films that we would be watching together, the fact
that he would cook for me during the week. Hmmmmmm it did make me a bit
uncomfortable that he was planning our future on our first date but I just
thought, “Awww give him a break, he’s excited”
As it was getting later and the pub was nearly empty, he said, “I have
to tell you something” ... my stomach dropped, I knew it was too good to be
true. He said, “I was going to email you about it, but then thought that might
not be a good idea because you probably wouldn’t want to see me, so I thought
I’d wait and bring it up now”. “Oh here we go” thinks me ... “too good to be true”
“Well spit it out then, you’re worrying me now!”
“Well, I live with my mum and I have no intention of leaving her until I
find someone else I want to move in with or get a place with and I’m not going
to change my mind”
FFS– a forty odd year old man living with his mum – now I know that a
lot of men do that, but that just isn’t for me. I left home when I was 19 and
have supported myself ever since ... I’m not really that good at having
relationships with men who can’t do the same. It’s just a personal choice of
mine.
He also said, “Well, there’s more, I know in your profile that you said
that travel was very important to you, but ... I’ve never been abroad”
NEVER BEEN ABROAD! I said, “What? How can that be? How can you never
have been abroad? What do you do with yourself? Do you never go on holiday?
You’ve never been abroad? How can that be? Really? Really, you’ve never been
abroad?!”
I then told him how many holidays I have, how I love to travel and don’t
care if I’m on my own. I said, “Wouldn’t you consider travelling on your own if
your ex didn’t want to?” His reply, “Oh no, I could never do that. I’d have to
have someone with me. I’d never dream of going away on my own, I can’t see the
point. It would just be awful.”
Next he went on to tell me a whole load of ‘ex-wifey took the kids away’
sh*t (there’s nothing more off putting than hearing what a bitch the ex was)
which after the other two revelations brought the evening to a screeching halt.
I couldn’t believe this bit ... he then said, “Well, do I get a kiss
tonight then or not?” Me, “Er, that’ll be a no”
We then walked silently out of the put, quick peck on the cheek and me,
“I’ll be in touch”. Texted Deb and waited for him to drive off (can’t be too
careful after all). My text conversation with Deb went like this:
“On me way home. Kinda nice then he dropped a bombshell! Gimme a call
when yr free tomorrow. FFS! Xx”
“Is that not a good thing? Xx”
“Nope! Xx”
“Why not? You not wanna see him again? Xx
“He lives with his mum, he’s never been abroad and after he told me
that, there was a weirdy vibe I got from him. Plus he freaked me out and keep
talking like we were gonna be getting married! Xx”
“Ooooooohhhhhhh no way ... You’re not gonna see him again are you? How
weird living with his mum, no wonder he’s got a private number plate. Weirdo
xx”
“I know ... there’s a story behind it (but isn’t there always!?). We
were getting on brilliant before that, but I keep meeting these men who live
with their mother!!!!! Don’t think I can do that one again. Such a shame ...
but never been abroad either!!!! NEVER!!!! Xx”
“I was thinkin the same – mummys boys are a definite no no. It’s a shame
but you’ve had a kinda nice nite so it’s not all bad. Everything happens for a
reason doesn’t it. Never mind, at least it’s another for your blog. Xx”
When I’d finished my conversation with Deb and was taking my make up
off, I heard my phone go again, it was Jeep Man:
“Hiya! Loved meeting you tonight and would love to see you again. Hope
you got home safely xxxx”
“Got home fine thanx. It was nice to meet you too. Xx”
“How do you feel ... would you like to again or prefer to leave it at the
moment? Xxx”
I didn’t reply. I’ve got to be honest, I was a bit disappointed. I
thought I’d think about it some more over night (I know, I know, but I thought
he was cute and funny and just wanted to make sure I was doing the right
thing). The next day, my dad popped round and I told him the tale. You can
always rely on my dad for straight talking, “What! In his 40s and lives with
his mother! Go ‘way ... you don’t want that! What kind of a man is that? A
mummy’s boy” Then he folded his arms, shook his head and tutted in disgust
(it's really bad when my dad does that!).
So that was that. I logged on to the dating site when my dad had left
and sent Jeep Man (that car really was too big for him by the way .... he
looked like a pea rattling round in a shoe box) a really nice email apologising
for not getting back sooner but I wanted to think about things; that the
‘living with mum’, ‘ex-wife issues’ and ‘lack of travel’ were all a bit too
much and I wished him well. He sent a nice reply and that’s that.
Ho hum ... NEXT!
Tomorrow I’ll tell you about Tuesday night’s date ... another corker ...
I met Mr Grey! Until then, be fabulous.
Lots of love
Jx
