Wednesday 10 October 2012

My Polly Pocket Date (Part 2)





So, following on from yesterday's post ....
When we got into the cinema, which was next door to the Pizza place, he already had his ticket and wanted popcorn, I had my cinema card and wanted ice cream so we went to different counters and bought our own.  When we met back up, he said, “Oh, you’ve got a coke?  I bought a big one for us to share”  “Ewwwwww” I thought, “He’s expecting me so share a coke with him and his spit” Then he said, “I got a big popcorn to share too” I thought, “Now he’s expecting me to share popcorn that will undoubtedly have his spit on from all the hand to mouth to popcorn action ... no thanks!”  Sharing stuff like that is fine with your friends or partner, but not with someone you don’t know and don’t fancy.
So we went into the cinema and sat down, him with his legs sprayed apart doing what’s known in body language terms as a ‘crotch shot’ (crotch display) – a man will use this display in an unconscious attempt to show a woman (or man) his virility ... it unconsciously says “Look at my large manly genital area” or words to that effect!  He was also leaning on me and with that, I move away as far as I could into the other side of my seat, I also crossed my legs as he was trying to touch mine with his (although they were barely long enough) and pointed them away from him as far as I could giving off a “don’t come near me” vibe.  Thank goodness there was no-one sitting next to me because I could have literally been sitting on their knee.
Then comes the eating of the popcorn.  If I thought the pizza eating was bad, it was nothing on this.  I hate the sound of people eating crunchy things too (I know, I have a bit of a problem!) and he was literally taking whole handfuls of popcorn and shovelling them into his mouth then crunching them with his mouth open.  Oh dear God! 
It obviously didn’t occur to him for quite a while that I wasn’t responding to his attempted to try and touch me, but about 20 minutes into the film, I noticed a distinct shift in his body language.  He was still doing the crotch shot, but crossed his arms which literally reads, “I’m here showing you how virile I am and I’m pissed at you because you’re not taking me on” ... I could almost hear his thoughts, his body language was literally screaming out at me, it was hysterical.  It was also coupled with frequently ‘humphs’, you know that sound someone makes when they’re seriously pissed off!
Well, the film “Taken 2” wasn’t that brilliant (I’ll review it tomorrow) and at the end of the film we left quite unceremoniously, him being under no illusions by this point that I absolutely not interested.  As we walked to our cars making polite conversation, he told me that he was off work this week and said he was taking his car to be lowered!  He was another little man with a Jeep (what’s with the little men and Jeeps?).  All I could think was that obviously he wasn’t big enough to get in and out of it and was having it lowered so it wasn’t such a struggle!
Oh dear ... another one bites the dust.  The only thing that kept me going through the film were the funny things that kept running through my head like, “I’ve got my own Polly Pocket” “Santa’s Little Helpers are out early this year” “I wonder how Snow White coped” ... I kept giggling to myself.
I’m going to give the dating a rest for a bit now.  I’ve exhausted (not literally!) all the half decent looking guys, so I’ll take a bit of a break so that I can re-group.  No doubt I’ll revisit it again sometime in the future and will obviously keep you informed!
Right, lovelies, enjoy your day and I’ll see you soon.  Be fabulous.
Lots of love
Jx

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