Givers Vs Takers

Since my last post about the guy who was more than happy for me to buy his cinema ticket and drink, I’ve had a few conversations with friends about what makes people ‘tight’ with their money ie not want to spend it but being happy to let others pay for them.  Now, after a little analysis, we’ve come to the conclusion that people who don’t like to spend their money and who go to great lengths not to spend it (and I’ve got some cracking examples for you) are far from the ones with the least amount of available cash.  In our experience, it tends to be people who have got money, but just don’t want to spend it.  Either that or they get a buzz out of ‘getting away’ with as much as possible ie letting other people pay for them (I know a few people who definitely fit into that category).

I once knew a guy who claimed that you could split the world into two – people who predominantly give and those who predominantly take - of course there are shades of grey, however, he claimed that every person has a tendency to be largely one or the other.  I have to be honest, over the years I’ve analysed this and I have to agree.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) I happen to be the former and as a result am always first at the bar, always go out of my way to buy lovely presents, always tend to pick up bar/restaurant bills ... and I really don’t know why cos quite often I get completely stung ie I don’t get a fraction of what I give back.  Not that I give to get, but really, not a fraction!


Here are some of the examples of what I’ve experienced with particular ‘friends’:


The Bar Dodger



I often used to go out with a large group of friends ... probably about 13 of us (me being the 13th cos I was single), this one particular couple would always make sure that they bought the last round of the group because invariably, by the time it came to buying a second round for them, the night would be over.  I, on the other hand, would be expected to buy two rounds for everyone and as they were all buying in couples, I’d be well and truly out of pocket because I was buying 2 to their 1.  I don’t see that group of people anymore (not just because of that, but it was part of it ... they were more than happy for me to buy double the amount of drinks that they did ... fair? I don’t think so).

The Car Park Dodger

I used to go to a lot of gigs with this particular couple.  As my friend’s hubby preferred to drive, I would always pay for the car park ... and the drinks ... and the snacks ... and a programme and they would be more than happy to let me and wouldn’t even offer to buy me a drink in return.  As you can imagine, I could quite easily rack up an £80 bill for the privilege of them driving me to the gig (a taxi would have been cheaper!).  When I finally woke up to this, went to a gig with them and didn’t offer to pay for the parking and said that I’d buy my own drinks as money was short ... they were unbelievably shocked and didn’t ask me to go with them again (by the way, I wasn't working at the time!).

The ‘Hinter’

One of my friends was telling me about another of our friends who is well known for dodging paying for anything and said that quite often she’d go out with this friend and she would constantly drop hints about how much she wanted this or that but that she couldn’t afford it.  My other friend (for some reason that she could never identify) would end up buying her whatever the object of her desire was at that moment.  Now, let me just say that ‘the Hinter’ was super rich in comparison to my compassionate friend, but it still didn’t stop her accepting anything and everything she could get her hands on.  Bazaar!

The Family Member

I have a close family member who’s the same.  She expects everything to be bought for her and will go to unbelievable lengths to not have to pay for something ie she’ll disappear to the toilet or for a cigarette when the bill comes, say she’s ordered your birthday/Xmas present but it never arrives ... I’ve even overheard her saying, “well, it’s not like she can’t afford it” when I’ve been lumbered with a restaurant bill for everyone.  Nice to be appreciated isn’t!

The 'I've no money but I'm coming out anyway' Person

I went for a meal with a gang of girls a few weeks ago (they are friends of a friend of mine and I met most of them for the first time that night) and we met for a drink beforehand then went to the restaurant.  We were busy ordering meals and wine when I heard one of the girls whispering to another as we were discussing what wine to buy.  As the night wore on, it transpired that this girl had only bought £20 out with her.  Now, in the town we live in restaurants aren’t expensive, however, I can’t think of anywhere you buy a meal and alcoholic drinks all night and only pay £20 (I’m not counting fast food joints here!).  What would possess you to do that?  If I can’t afford to go out, I don’t go out.  I don’t expect other people to pay for me ... which is exactly what we did ... we all had to put money in to cover for her lack and hid the bill from her so that she didn't know what we'd done!  I really don't get it and I’d never dream of it.

The Admitted Taker

I have another friend who quite openly says that she is a 'Taker' and when I say to her, "How can you do that?  How can you just let people pay for you and do stuff for you like that?  Don't you feel guilty or bad that you never replay them?"  Her answer is, "If people are stupid enough to do it/pay for it for me, then that's their look out".  Wow ... I was gobsmacked and unable to speak for a good 5 minutes after that!

I have to be honest, I really don’t get how people can behave like that however, I’ve recently (after the non-paying dates and a couple of other things that are too negative to go into here) really woken up to the fact that I’m a bit of a soft touch and I definitely need to put the stoppers on things.  I only end up getting wound up about it, especially when I think it's not appreciated and unfortunately quite often its not ... it's expected.  It becomes all the more glaringly obvious to me when I'm not working - as you may be aware, I work for myself and sometimes go for long stretches without earning a penny, but yet people still expect me to pay more than my fair share for things. Not no more baby, the worm has turned!

Wow ... I’ve had a full on rant there haven’t I!!!  I just had to get that off my chest.  I feel much better now, I hope I haven't depressed you too much.  Right onward and upward to more positive things!  See you soon lovely people and be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

PS ... Are you a Giver or a Taker ... you may want to think about it!

Yet Another Dodgy Date (well sort of!)

OK, so I told you that I’d remembered another dodgy date story.  Actually, I hadn’t forgotten about it (that would be pretty difficult to do); I’d just taken the executive decision not to write about it.  However, when I’ve told this tale to my friends, they’ve been totally stunned by both the behaviour of the man in question and why I wouldn’t want to share it ... misplaced loyalty maybe?  I don’t really know.  So, after much cajoling from my lovely friends, here goes...

A guy I knew back in the day (like 20 years ago) got in touch with me around September last year and pretty much straight away, told me about the breakup of his marriage.  Now, my immediate thought was, “Oh here we go”.  However, months later after a steady stream of emails back and forth, he hadn’t even mentioned meeting up so I gleaned from that that he was actually just being friendly and didn’t think of me in a ‘romantic’ way, which was fine by me.

A couple of months ago, he dropped a heavy hint about wanting to watch a film that I’d talked about going to see, so I said, “Well if you want to watch it, come with me I don’t mind.  It’d be nice to have some company for a change and I’m going anyway”.  I have to be honest, even now, I’m not sure whether it was a ‘date’ or just two friends going to the cinema together, so I decided to take it as the latter as he’d been at lengths to remark on how this wasn’t a date (but he kept saying it in a jokey way, so I wasn’t really sure).

When the day arrived, he’d agreed to come to mine (I wasn’t so concerned about my usual dating rules because I knew him and also know a lot of people who know him too ... so I didn’t feel the ‘normal’ security measures were needed), he turned up (he lives in a town about 40 minutes away from me) and the first thing that came through the door was the overpowering smell of stale cigarette smoke (another 60 a day habit person), then came the depressed aura (I seem to be attracting that lately) then came the pleather jacket.  Nuff said.  I’m not going into that one again.  We had a quick chat then jumped in his car to the cinema...

Now, if you’ve read my other posts, you’ll know that I love the cinema and have ‘pass’ for my local movie theatre that I pay £14.99 per month for, which means that I can watch as many films as I want without paying any more.  Well, we walked up to the counter, I asked him if he wanted anything to eat, no, he just wanted a large coke, I asked the woman for the tickets and one large coke and one small diet coke.  She prepared the drinks and the tickets and said, “Will you come round to the till?” He just stood there, hands in pockets just like the guy from my previous ‘dating disaster’ post.  I thought, ‘Blimey, he’s not moving’ so I walked round to the till; all the while he’s standing there with his hands in his pockets allowing me to pay for his ticket (mine was obviously free) and his LARGE coke.  OMG – I was fuming ... he made no attempt whatsoever to even make a move to pay.  HE JUST STOOD THERE!

Now, let’s get a couple of things straight here, I’d got it in my head that it wasn’t a date and therefore, I wouldn’t expect the man to pay for me (although I have to be honest I would expect that if it was a first date, I’d argue with them a bit and offer to at least pay my half, but I’d be really disappointed if they let me – I’m just a bit old fashioned like that and I think it speaks volumes about a person and their ethics) but neither would I think that he would expect me to pay for him.  I think I’ve said before, that when I go out with my friends, we either split the bill or take it in turns – we’d never ever expect the other to pay for us without putting up a bit of a fight.

Did he offer to pay?  Did he even offer to pay half?  Not bloody likely.  What did he say when I’d paid and walked to him with his ticket and coke? “Oh I get my ticket and coke bought for me too”  Like I had a friggin’ choice!!!  OMG, I thought I was going to faint.  NEVER EVER has that EVER happened to me.  OK, there was the guy on the last dodgy date I told you about who was happy for me to buy him a drink, but this was on a whole different level.  How can anyone just expect someone else to pay for them without even offering?  Don’t get it.

*Phew Jx and breathe* I handed him his goodies and we walked into the theatre, sat down and watched the film.  I’ve got to be honest, I really couldn’t concentrate and was well aware that my body language (had he noticed it) was screaming out “I’M ANGRY I AM”!

So, after the film (bearing in mind we’d gone in the afternoon) we left the theatre and had to walk past a ‘Pizza Hut’.  Now, if I’d been there with any one of my numerous friends, without a doubt one of us would say, “Let’s go for pizza” Him?  Not a peep (I remember thinking, ‘No he’s not likely to say that cos he’ll find it harder to get away without paying for it ... and he probably needs all his cash to fund for his heavy cigarette habit’).

So we get in the car and drive back to mine, all the time I’m thinking, “Don’t come in. Don’t come in!”  What did he do?  Came in ... well I did ask.  Luckily I knew he wouldn’t stay long because he hadn’t had a smoke for at least 2.5 hours so must have been gagging for one.  So he stayed and had a coffee and then left quite quickly.

I really thought he’d have picked up on my negative vibes ... but no.  This is the best bit, when he got home, he emailed me ... this is what he said:

“Thanks for today, I really enjoyed it. Hope we can do it again soon. Your choice on the film next time!  There's a Cineworld near me if your pass works everywhere?”

OMG ... he wasn’t even offering to pay for my ticket next time, he was expecting me to travel the 40 minutes to his for the privilege of using my freebie card again!  The bloody nerve, I couldn’t believe it.  Since then I’ve had a couple of mails from him asking me what he did wrong because he genuinely doesn’t know and is extremely sorry.  How can you not know!?  It’s just general good manners surely.

As a complete opposite to this, I had dinner with another male friend that I’ve known for a million years a couple of weeks ago.  This wasn’t a date, it was just old friends catching up and he wouldn’t let me pay of a thing.  We had dinner and went to a bar and had a few drinks after and no matter how much I argued with him, he wouldn’t let me contribute.  Total opposite ends of the scale.

So lovelies, there it is.  Whether it was a date or not, I’m still not clear and don’t really care, but he was incredibly rude.  What did I learn from that?  Don’t be so soft and don’t be the first to put my hand in my pocket.  We live and learn and that’s the point isn’t it!

Right, I’m off to do some work.  Have an amazing week and I’ll see you soon.  Until then, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Champagne Saturday & Mrs Brown's Boys

Well, what a lovely weekend I’ve had!  It’s been quite fab even though I say so myself.  I had a fab time with Justine on regular ‘Champagne Saturday’ jaunt and have a little tale to tell you about that regarding’ Mrs Brown’s Boys’...

I don’t know if you’ve seen it, it’s an Irish sitcom based around Mrs Brown (who happens to be a man in drag) and her Irish Catholic family.  I’ve got to be honest, it’s extremely rude ... I mean VERY VERY rude, but oh so funny.  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much as I do when I watch that.  It’s hysterical.  Here’s a couple of clips for you ... but be warned they are X-rated (ie you must be over 18 to watch) and contain sexual content and bad language ... that’s the disclaimer done.








Anyway, Justine and I had had our fabulous bottle of champagne in Harvey Nichols (we just have the one now ... we used to have 2 plus regular wine with our meal, but it got to the point that neither of us could remember getting home and that’s never good ... especially when you’re using public transport – yes, you read that right, Public Transport! *shudder*) – in case you don’t know, Harvey Nichols is one the UK’s most exclusive designer department stores and has a lovely Champagne Bar that does the most amazing cocktails.  It’s very lovely ... think Neiman Marcus in the US (God I love that store too) and you’re on the right track.  It’s fantastic for people watching too, not that we really do much of that cos we’re too busy catching up and gossiping!

Champagne & Cocktails Galore at Harvey Nics

After our champers, we hopped (not literally, I was wearing heels after all) to the Living Room – another lovely/trendy bar for some food.    As we ordered and were waiting for our food to arrive, two guys sat down at the table in front of us.  I said to Justine, “Ooooh they’re wearing passes for Mrs Brown’s Boys.  The show must be on in town and they are obviously part of the crew” The fact that their passes had ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys Crew’ was a bit of a dead giveaway and we came to the conclusion that they were probably lighting or sound crew.  We then had quite a discussion about how much we love the show, and in fact, Justine had seen the stage show too – which I was very jealous of. 


Now, when we’d finished our meal and were waiting for the bill, Justine said, “Shall I ask them what they do in the show and tell them how much we love it?”  Of course I say, “Oooooh yeah, go on then” (now you have gotta remember that we were a little tipsy by now, even though we had eaten, it was only early evening about 6.30 and we’d been drinking since 2.00 ... anyway, you get what I mean).  So she trots over and starts telling them how much we love the show and what were their jobs ... “Are you lighting or sound crew?” I heard her say ... I meandered over just in time to hear, “No, I play Deano, Rory’s boyfriend” (Rory is one of Mrs Brown’s sons) “and he plays the Doctor”


OMG, you know when you want the ground to open up!!!  We both did the whole “Oh yeah! Of course! Really sorry!”  and then I did a whole lot of sucky upey grovelling, “Oooh I love the show, it’s the funniest thing ever ... I’ve never seen anything that has ever made me laugh so much” bla bla bla  - cringe!  You could tell they were a little put out that we professed to be such big fans but didn’t recognise them!  Well, as soon as he said that, we couldn’t get out quickly enough.  I looked at Justine and she had a kind of strained look of horror on her face and then we literally ran out!  So funny ... so embarrassing! After that, we laughed pretty much all the way to the train station, completely mortified at our little faux pas!  Awwww you’ve gotta laugh, haven’t you – it keeps you sane.


I’ve got to be honest I was home for 7.30, so I really didn’t have a hangover yesterday.  Last night, I went out with an old friend of mine and we had a right old giggle.  Only thing is, I have a steaming hangover this morning, although it is getting a bit better now I’ve eaten and had a couple of pints of strong black coffee ... I’m actually buzzing a bit now!


I think I need a bit of a detox this week – it’s now 7 weeks to my next holiday and although I’m happy with my weight, I’m definitely not bikini toned ... and if you’re wondering about whether I kept the running up ... nope ... I went twice and it hurt too much and I kept panicking cos I couldn’t get my breath.


Right lovelies, that’s it for another day.  In my next post I’ll tell you about another dodgy date I had that I only remembered when I was catching up with Justine.  So until next time, be fabulous!


Lots of love


Jx

The Beatles Kids to Start a Band!

Oooooooooh I’m so excited ... I’ve just read that 3 of the sons of my most favourite band of all time, The Beatles, are talking about getting a band together!  I was obsessed with The Beatles all through my teens and they still are and always will be my favourite band ever.  I’m also a bit of a Beatles geek ... there’s not too much I don’t know about them and I find it really odd when I read reports from Celebs saying that they’ve ‘recently discovered the Beatles’.  I can’t believe it’s taken them so long ... anyway, I digress.

It seems that Julian Lennon, James McCartney and Dhani Harrison have said that they’d all consider signing up to a ‘New Generation’ band and as they are all accomplished musicians in their own right (actually, I think it would be pretty weird if they weren’t) I can only imagine what their creativity together would be like.  Am I sounding a bit stalkerish and obsessive?  Don’t care!


Here’s what James recently said about it during an interview with the BBC, 'I'd be up for it. Sean seemed to be into it, Dhani seemed to be into it. I'd be happy to do it.'  But he added that Ringo's drummer son Zak wasn't as keen. 'I don't think it's something that Zak wants to do,' he said. 'Maybe Jason [another of Starr's sons and also a drummer] would want to do it.'


Pressed on whether a new band could be in the foreseeable future, James replied: 'Yeah, hopefully, naturally. I don't know, you'd have to wait and see. The will of God, nature's support, I guess. So yeah, maybe.'


OMG ... pick me up off the floor!


James was briefly interviewed on ‘Lorraine’ during the last week and performed one of his songs which he co-produced with his dad.  I’ve only seen pictures of him before and hearing him speak, he’s not only the image of his dad but sounds like him too – although I think he’s not as and takes after his mum on that one.  Anyway, here’s the clip of him playing.  Enjoy...

Well, that really was a quickie ... I just had to share!  Must rush ... see you soon lovely people.  Have a wonderful day and be fabulous.


Lots of love


Jx

Julia Roberts - Mirror Mirror

 

Well I just had to give a quick review of Mirror Mirror which I saw this afternoon.  Not to put to finer point on it ... it was bloody awful.  Again, it was the screenplay that let it down.  It was incredibly uninteresting and ... well ... downright boring!  Julia Roberts, who I’ve loved ever since Pretty Woman, was (I’m sorry to say) diabolical!  She was absolutely dreadful and must have been cringing when she watched the completed film (if she has indeed watched it ... I don’t remember seeing a premier for this film and I can really understand why).

I have no clue what her accent was meant to be – she couldn’t decide whether to be English or American so had a kind of weirdy semi posh transatlantic kind of chirpy chat!  Most odd.  The guy who played the prince (Armie Hammer) was just about the worst choice I could have ever imagined.  He was shocking.

 

On the positive side (yes there was one ... only one) the costumes where AMAZING!  I can’t remember the last time I saw a film where the costumes were so imaginative and beautiful (the sets weren’t up to much though ... I think they spent the entire budget on the clothes!).  Here’s a clip of the film ... this illustrates clearly what I mean re: the voice and clothes...

Would I recommend it for kids?  Well, I think I’d have to say, ‘Wait for the DVD’ for this one.  There were loads of kids in the theatre today (with it being half term) and they were really restless.  I actually heard one of the kids in front of me say to her mum, “Mum, I’m bored” her mum’s reply “I’ve spent a fortune to bring you three to see this after all your whining.  Now shut up and enjoy it!” lol ... That was actually the best bit of the film!

Right ... back to work. Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday lovely people and be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Dark Shadows, Total Recall, Men in Black 3

Well lovelies, I’ve had a hugely positive day ... wish I could share, but no work stuff here!

This is gonna probably be the shortest post I’ve ever left, as I don’t have any gossip/news to tell you about, but I just had to share this with you ... I think it’s one of the most gross (not to mention funny), vomit inducing pictures I’ve ever seen.  I pinched it from my friend Emma’s Facebook status so I have to give her all the credit for it. 

"Look mum, no hands!"

It really makes you think when they tell you that you should use hand sanitiser when you’re on the Tube (Underground)!   Last time I was on the Tube in London, I ended up with full blown Swine Flu – I hate to think what you might end up with after touching where that ass has been!  *Shudder*

On a lighter note, there’s a fabulous Bank Holiday weekend coming and mine’s shaping up pretty well, with ... wait for it .... ‘Champagne Saturday!’ with my lovely Friend Justine.  It’s been a while and she’s been on holiday so I’m dying to hear all the gossip.  So hopefully I’ll have tonnes to talk about by the weekend.

Back to my love of films, I’ve only just seen today that they are re-making Arnie’s 1990 hit ‘Total Recall’ with Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel and judging by the trailer it’s going to be a hum dinger of a film.  I loved the original so can’t wait to see this one.  See what you think...

... And we thought the original had good graphics!  The film is out on 3 August in the US – so shouldn’t be long after that for it to hit UK screens.

Another film that I’m looking forward to seeing is the new Tim Burton film, Dark Shadows.  This trailer is playing incessantly in movie theatres at the moment, but it does look really good (I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Tim Burton film that wasn’t) and the gorgeous Johnny Depp plays a suitably weird, comedic vampire.  The story goes that his character is cursed by a jealous ex-lover (a witch) in 1752, turned into a vampire and buried for over 200 years.  When he’s inadvertently freed from his tomb he emerges into a very different world of 1972! Here’s the trailer...

Ohhhhh love it!  That’s out in the UK on 11 May – so not too long to wait for that one.

Finally, Men in Black 3! Yay!  I love those films and this looks equally as good.  Will Smith travels back in time in order to save the world and has to deal with a very young Agent K!

A really good reason to not flush goldfish down the loo!  That’s out in the UK on 25 May.

Right well, I didn’t really intend that to turn in to a movie review, but I’m sure it’s kept you out of mischief for a bit.  I’m off to eat a Cadbury’s Cream Egg (how do you eat yours?) and watch this week’s episode of True Blood (God how I love that programme ... so many gorgeous, scantily glad men on one show ... Is that sexist?  Don’t care!).  Life doesn't get much better than this folks.  Until next time, lovely people, be fabulous.

Lots of love

Jx

The Pirates & The Wrath of the Titans

Hello lovelies.  I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend and enjoying some fantastic weather wherever you happen to be in the world.  Well, I’ve not got much to report on today (I always say that and when I start to write, stuff just comes flooding out!) so I thought I’d give you a couple of quick film reviews.

On Friday afternoon, after a crazy busy week, I decided on a whim to take myself off to the movies.  I really wanted to see two new films, The Pirates: Band of Misfits and The Wrath of the Titans and whilst I was only intending to watch one (then get back home and carry on working) I ended up watching both.  ‘Extremely indulgent’ you’re probably thinking and I did beat myself up about it for a bit, however, I’ve been working late into the night pretty much every day for the last 2 weeks, without a day off so thought, “To hell with it!”

Firstly, I watched The Pirates which is another Aardman animated creation (you know, the guys who created the marvellous Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run ... I love Wallace and Gromit and no matter how many times I watch them, I still laugh).  Staring Hugh Grant, Selma Hayek and Martin Freeman, the Pirate Captain (Grant) sets out on a mission to defeat his rivals Black Bellamy and Cutlass Liz (Hayek) to win the coveted Pirate of the year Award. The quest takes Captain and his motley crew from the shores of Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London.  Along the way they do battle with the pirate-hating Queen Victoria (Imelda Staunton) and team up with a young Charles Darwin (David Tennant - who has a chimp, left over from earlier experiments, who acts as his man-servant).

All in all, it was absolutely brilliant.  Really funny and an equally good watch whatever age you are and with the Easter Holidays upon us, I can’t think of anything better to take the whole family to see.  When I was doing a little bit of research for this post I came across the official website for the film and it’s actually really good ... your kids will love it as it’s really interactive.  Check it out for yourself by clicking this link.  Here are a couple of trailers in case you’ve been living in a cupboard and haven’t seen them:

Next, Wrath of the Titans which is the sequel to Clash of the Titans (it always makes me laugh when I hear “Release the Kraken” – I remember having a drink with some friends once when a particularly beauty challenged woman walked in the pub and my friend’s husband whispered, “Release the Kraken” ... still cracks me up now!).  This film is set 10 years after the last and Perseus (Sam Worthington) the demigod son of Zeus is attempting to live a quieter life as the sole parent of his 10 year old soon Helius.

Meanwhile, a struggle for supremacy rages between the gods and the Titans.  Dangerously weakened by humanity’s lack of devotion, the gods are losing control of the imprisoned Titans and their leader Kronos.    Perseus enlists the help of warrior Queen Andromedia and Posseidon’s demigod son to embark on a quest into the underworld to rescue Zeus (Liam Neeson – love him) from Hades (Ralph Fiennes – love him too), overthrow the Titans and save mankind.  Phew!

Another brilliantly entertaining film and I think it beats the original, Clash of the Titans, hands down.  It’s full of adventure, mythical creatures and heroism. What more could you ask for in a film?  Definitely another family must see, but for older children, younger ones might find it a bit scary.  Here are a couple of trailers for you:

Well that’s me for today, I’m currently tending the biggest pot of homemade chicken soup you ever did see ... it’s gonna be gorge, whilst catching up on this week’s omnibus episode of Eastenders.  Might just get my backside in gear and go for a run in a bit!

Whatever you’re up to this beautiful Sunday, I hope you’re having fun.  Be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx