Asian vs Caucasian Dating - Part 2

I found the second part of my post, yay! Back to Asian vs Caucasian dating ….

Traditional Matchmakers

Firstly, obviously there’s the traditional matchmaker … usually a family member who you give all your details to eg:

• Height
• Weight (yes WEIGHT!)
• Skin colour (light coloured skin is highly prized)
• Dress size (honestly! … dress size is really important to prospective husbands, apparently it’s fine for an Asian girl to be overweight after she’s married and I quote, “No-body cares what you look like after your married, you can put as much weight on as you want, as long as you’re thin when you get married”!!!! OMG!)
• Job
• Salary etc

And you give them a list of what you are looking for in your partner including job type (ie professional) and income … yes, income!  Caste isn’t so much of an issue, as they are family, (I’m not going to go into Caste here, suffice to say that’s it’s a class system, similar to our working/middle/upper class, only more complex … Google it if you want to know more) so will be aware of your caste. It’s still really important to marry within your caste, however, I do know of girls who’ve married lower than their caste and their families have come round … eventually!  It wasn’t easy for them though.

The Matchmaker will then go away and match you with someone suitable.  Pictures and telephone numbers will then be swapped and if you like each other after seeing their picture/first phone call, a meeting will be arranged where you meet them, not on your own, but your whole family will meet their whole family … no pressure then!  If you like each other, then it’s pretty much a done deal there and then and you could be married within a few months!

Community Matchmakers

Then there are matchmakers in the community … I love this one … some local shopkeepers have ‘Books’ which contain the details of all the eligible bachelors and females within the community … containing every bit of info you’d ever need, caste, height, weight, clothes size, income, job, University degree, inside leg measurement (nah, not really, I made that one up) and you pay them to find you a match.  If they find someone suitable, then same as above, you meet them with your whole family and theirs bla bla bla.

Back to the conversation I was having with my friends … we couldn’t talk about arranged marriages without asking about forced arranged marriages (you hear so much on the news about the most awful things happening to women forced into marriage, so while I had the opportunity, I asked … plus, my friends are used to me asking questions, I’m fascinated by different cultures and am forever asking them stuff, so they don’t mind).  Apparently, yes of course forced arranged marriages do happen and more often than you’d like to think, but luckily not in their families. 

Despite the use of Matchmakers being commonplace in the Asian community, I think my Asian friends would all agree that they would far rather find their own partners because they can do it in their own time and there isn’t as much pressure.  Often they don’t tell their parents if they’ve been dating someone unless they are absolutely sure they’re going to marry them!

I love having friends from different cultures … it really opens up your thinking and, as I’ve mentioned above, it gives you a great chance to get underneath the stereotype and ask as many probing questions as you want … hopefully without offending anyone!

In the next few weeks, I’ll get into the Asian dating site stuff and give you some real dating experiences that make my dating escapades look like a Disney Film with a Fairytale Ending! Lol

Until then, be fabulous lovely people.

Lots of love

Jx