I've been thinking of some different topics for my blog and happened to be having lunch last week with some Asian friends. We were having a good old girlie gossip and got on to the subject of dating. We love this topic (nearly as much as eyebrows! lol) ... I’m always totally incredulous about how it works, The Asian Way! You think us Caucasian girlies have a hard time of it, you ain’t heard nothing yet! I’ve asked if I can share some of their stories … as they’re quite something … to which the reply was, “Yes, if you don’t mention names!” A fair trade in my view!
I’ve struggled with how best to tackle this, as in how to structure the info, as there’s so flaming much of it and it’s all a bit ad hoc ie there’s not always a story attached, so I’m just gonna launch into it and see what happens …
Asian Dating
Dating, Asian style, couldn’t be more different than Caucasian. There are some things we have in common like Internet Dating (which is similar in name alone from what I can see), which I’ll go into later, then there are the traditional Matchmakers. But it’s the whole dating process that shocks the hell out of me and the directness of it all!
When an Asian man or woman decides that they want to get married, there’s no messing around with unnecessary dating (I probably need to put some context around it all here … if a girl isn’t married by 30, she’s on the shelf and is pretty much looked down upon and classed as an old maid – however, a man can get married at whatever age he wants … usually when he’s got ‘partying’ with Caucasian girls out of his system! It’s extremely rare for an Asian man to marry a Caucasian woman or indeed and Asian woman that he’s had a casual relationship with - but when they decide it’s time to marry, they don’t mess around), therefore, they ask the most amazing questions upfront.
Straight away, from the very first conversation, both sides will be ascertaining whether the person is marriage material or not … in the first conversation they’ve had with a man my friends have been asked:
- How many relationships have you had?
- How long did they last?
- Were you physical with your partner(s) (it’s the ideal to marry a virgin … yes, honestly!)
- Can you cook? (Asian men do not do housework/cooking AT ALL!)
- How many children do you want?
- Will you stop working after we’re married? (and yes, they use ‘we’)
That said, my friends will think nothing of asking:
- What’s your job?
- How much do you earn?
- What financial plans have you made for the future
- Where will we be living?
Both sides will have no issue whatsoever in talking about marriage plans in the first conversation … I’m not even talking about first meeting here, I’m talking about first conversation! Quite often, as my friends recall, men have said "when we get married ..." numerous times in the first conversation - which they admit that it can be a bit overwhelming! I find this incredible, I’ve gone out with men for years who’ve got hot under the collar when you say the ‘m’ word! Could you imagine if you mentioned marriage to a Caucasian male, or female for that matter, the first time you speak to them … well I can guarantee that you wouldn’t be speaking to them again (me included!) In some ways, you’ve got to admire it though… at least everyone knows where they stand right from the get go!
With regard to where an Asian person would find their ideal husband/wife, well obviously I’ve mentioned Asian dating sites and there are the usual introductions by friends, meeting people at University/College, meeting someone at a wedding (they’re all quite a popular ways to meet someone in both cultures I think), but there are also Matchmakers …
Unfortunately, I’m stuck for time again folks, so I’ll continue the tale tomorrow. Until then, be good and be fabulous, lovely people.
Jx
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