Thank You! (Plus More Dating News)

Good afternoon lovelies.  Well firstly, I have to say another huge THANK YOU to you for your support!  At 11.00 am this morning, my blog hit the 1,500 hits mark!  1,500! I can’t believe it, that’s amazing!  I am so happy ... that’s over 500 hits this month alone, so I’m obviously doing something you like!

In the last month, I have readers from the following countries (in order of number of hits):

UK – Thank you

USA – Thank you

Russia - спасибо

Spain - Gracias

Germany - Danke

Ireland – Thank you

India - शुक्रिया

Malaysia - Terima kasih

Netherlands - dank u

UAE - شكرا

Australia – Thank you

Ukraine - Спасибі

... what an eclectic mix.  (I hope I got your translations right!).  YOU GUYS ROCK!

Well, what have I been up to today?  I had a meeting in Manchester this morning, so took the opportunity to catch up with Mehreen.  I haven’t seen her for such a long time and miss her terribly, so it was good to have a good gossip and a catch up.  She’s agreed to help me with the blog idea I mentioned yesterday - I’ll still need your help too, but am just pulling information together, so stay tuned for that one – I’ll let you know more in the coming weeks.

I also took the opportunity to have a little shop and bought a beautiful body warmer and poncho cape thing from All Saints – they had a 20% off all sale prices, so I got £350 worth of gear for £80 ... bargain ... the extra sale is still on until the end of the month, so check it out for some mega bargains both in store and on-line http://www.allsaints.com/women/.

When I got home, I checked the dating website and got a few fab mails that are ripe for sharing:

Subject:     Hi

Message:   How are you tonight [he sent this mail this morning!?] and hows it going on I am pleased to see there are some special ladies on the site and I have to ask hows it going for you any nice meets I have been told to be very careful on the site and choose with care who to meet ...lol I have never followed that lesson and i have had a few on here over the months... I have a couple of businesses have you time to meet up I wonder [not in this life ... or any other come to think of it] I do love the finer things in life having travelled throught [!!!!] the world for many iyrs [can’t spell though can ya!].. I have a home in marbella and a luxary sports car ooh and very expensive lol [whoop de bloody do] but alas nobody to share it with [not really surprised] maybe my age will put you off let it be told I can loose the 20 yr crowd off ..lol [who the hell told you that?] anyway take care and drop me a text if you want to know more about me etc [he didn’t leave a number ... phew!]

x

This guy is 65 and fat ... REALLY fat ... with a wild mop of white hair.  Another that can’t spell, use punctuation or use grammar.  The mind boggles at how these people own businesses!

The next one I read:

Subject:     just passing by

Message:   but stopped to say

Love the hair :)

Was also going to say ...with lips like that you must be a great kisser too [OMG gross!].....but I don't do the perv routine :)...oops! I just said it :) [yep ... you really said it!]
Take care gorgeous lady

J x

This guy is 63 ... I nearly vomited at the ‘great kisser’ bit ... ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww, God-damn my vivid imagination ... feel sick now.

I also got this from a gorgeous (honestly ... GORGEOUS!) 30 year old:

 

Subject:     no subject

Message:   Marry me! Lol x

My reply:

Subject:     no subject

Message:   OK! x

Pmsl ... couldn’t help it ... he’s gawwwwjus!

The next one:

Subject:     no subject

Message:     hi im joel your stunning are you on msn yahoo or skype to chat

Errr no, I’m not ... I didn’t reply.  This guy also sent me 8 Instant Message requests ... 8!!!!! NEXT!

I also got yet another mail from the guy who didn’t bother to call on Saturday ....

Subject:     Good Evening ....

Message:   Hi

How are you & are you having a good week so far ?

I'd still like to be able to chat with you and wondered when would be good to call you ?

Hope your ok & look forward to hearing from you soon.

Take Care

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh not talking to him ... then again, I think he’s gone a bit like ‘Preston Man’ ie because he can’t get hold of me, he wants to talk to me all the more ... weird that ... maybe that’ll teach him a valuable lesson!  And I’ve got to say that I’ve completely lost interest in him ... he’s 6’7” too, so over a foot taller than me and even with my 6” heels on, we’d look at bit like the ‘odd couple’ and what with my neck problems ... better stay well clear! lol

On the up side, I have actually had a small number of mails from guys who actually look quite promising ... well, they can write anyway and that’s a huge improvement on most!  I’ll let you know how I get on with those.

Right, that’s me for today ... thanks again for your support, I really love you guys.  Until next time, be fabulous, you lovely people!

Lots of love

Jx

Dating, Tea and W.E.

Hello lovelies.  Sorry for the lack of posts again, not an awful lot has happened and I can’t write about nothing and I’m not about to start making things up!

So, what have I been up to?  Well, internet dating has slowed right down ... and I'm quite relieved actually.  I think when you go on a site for the first time in a while (or the first time full stop) you create a lot of interest and a flurry of activity ensues.  However, when you’ve wheedled your way through all the messages and winks (and let’s face it, all the cr*p!) you start to get fewer and fewer (or maybe that’s just me!).  Anyway, I was having an early tea with my friend, Michelle yesterday (I’ll tell you about that in a min) and I was telling her about my dating escapades (she’s been busy and hadn’t managed to catch up on my blog).  While we were talking, I had a quick look at my inbox and low and behold, this mail was waiting ... as if on cue!

“hellooo ********* (he actually spelt my alias name wrong) from graham i life  (life?) in the country with my gun dog`s (dog's what?) if you wood (ha ha!)like go on to www.************ this me and if you wood like to txt me this (text him what?) on 0*********** graham xx

ps if you wood like i will send you a pic (err, not thanks)”  (DELETE) ... NEXT!

No I ‘wood’ not thank you very much!  OMG ... All of my friends’ kids can spell and have better punctuation than that and he didn’t have a photo, which in retrospect is probably a good thing!  I did check out his website though ... appalling and very weird ... even more dodgy actually!  I just checked my mails while I was typing this post and he'd sent me the exactly the same email (he obvious has this as a template ... I mean if you were going to have a template, you'd at least make sure the spelling, grammer and punctuation were right), but he had actually managed to spell my name right ... this time I DELETED and BLACKLISTED). This is what I’m up against folks! 

I also had email another:

“Hi x” (“Hi yourself”)  (DELETE) ... NEXT!

Oh and I’ve had a millionaire Asian guy (yeah of course he’s a millionaire ... no picture either ... well dodgy!!!!) pester the life out of me to ‘Instant Message’ with him.  I mean, every single time I log on he’s there ... waiting for me and pounces.  I’ve had to blacklist him too cos he’s creeping me out!

I’ve had a couple of winks from some lovely looking guys, but not heard anything else from them.  Like I’ve said before, I don’t really get the whole wink thing ... what’s that all about?  If you like someone, what’s the point of winking?  Why wouldn’t you email them?  Ahhhhh I dunno ... it’s a strange old world!

So changing the subject, as I was saying earlier that I had a lovely early evening 'tea' with Michelle yesterday.  We met a 4.00 pm at Hard Rock cafe in Manchester and didn’t stop talking until 6.30!  I didn’t realise we had so much to catch up on (we came up with some fantastic ideas to develop my blog and at some point, my lovely readers, I’m going to need some assistance from you ... so watch this space – better still, sign up for email alerts so you don’t miss anything!).

Well, boy did we eat!  We had one of those platter thingy starters (ie a bit of everything) and for entree’s I had Mac n Cheese with Chargrilled Chicken and Michelle had the Steak Sandwich.  Blimey, I haven’t eaten that much since my holidays ... I had a full on 6 month food baby ... I could barely move!  Also, I had these bodycon leggings on (they go a bit higher on the waist to give you a more streamlined look ... they’re fabulous ladies and only £16.50 at Next ...  http://www.next.co.uk/x494322s1#813475x49 I have some very similar Spanx ones that were £66 from MyTights http://www.mytights.com/gb/spanx-look-at-me-high-waisted-leggings.html?utm_source=Base&utm_medium=Base&utm_campaign=feed&gclid=CJzOnO7u660CFZIifAodiXOZ6w and the cheaper ones are every bit as good, if not better!).  I However, I digress (just for a change) ... my belly was so big that the leggings started rolling down ... ewwwwwww gross and extremely uncomfortable!  When I got home, I had to lie down for an hour until my stomach started to go back to normal!  Luckily, I’ve made it to the gym for a couple of hours today and I’m fully back to my usual self!  Phew!

This afternoon, I decided to go and see what all the fuss was about regarding the new film that Madonna has directed, W.E.  It’s been pretty much slated by the critics ... now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a huge Madonna fan, but I do think that people criticise her work unfairly  just because she is who she is (jealousy is a terrible thing).  So I have to say that I went in to the cinema really feeling quite indifferent about it.  However, I have to say that I LOVED it ... I was completely riveted for the full 2 hours ... in fact, I couldn’t believe that the time went so quickly (the sign of a good film in my opionion). 

It’s the story of Wallace Simpson and Edward VIII intertwined with the life of a modern day woman who’s obsessed with their story.  Many reviews I’ve read have said that they didn’t think the two stories worked well together, but I have to disagree.  It’s one of the best films I’ve seen for a while and I’d give it a 4 out of 5.  Definitely worth a looksee.

Tomorrow, I’m off to Manchester for a couple of meetings and then I’m finally catching up with my lovely friend, Mehreen ... I haven’t see her for so long and have missed her loads, so it’ll be fab to catch up.

Anyway, it’s that time again lovelies ... must rush.  Until next time ... be fabulous ... and stay tuned!

Lots of love

Jx

PS As I post this I’m just 7 hits off 1,500!!! Wow that’s amazing. I’m so happy ... thank you!

More On-line Dating Tales

Good Morning lovelies!  Well, I’m running with this 'dating' thing for as long as my nerves will take it (gotta be honest though ... they’re jangling a bit more every day and I have to say that it’s starting to affect my positivity button a bit!).  Before I dive back into that .... I bumped into someone yesterday who doesn’t know me very well, but has been reading my blog and she said, “I’m loving your blog, but I can’t believe all that happens to one person ... do you make some of it up to make it funnier?”  Well lovelies I can honestly say that I make NONE of it up.  I relay everything just as it happens and just as it’s said (with my life the way it is, I really don’t need to make stuff up, enough weird stuff happens without needing to!). 

Those of you who know me well, especially if you’ve known me for a long time, will know that this is just my life ... and let me reiterate folks, this is EXACTLY why my lovely friends urged me to start the blog and write about my crazy life in the first place ... and what do I always say, “You can’t make this stuff up!”  One of my lovely cousins, Kathryn (Hi Kathryn!) recently said that I should write a chicklit book, my reply, “I’m fine about writing stuff that happens to me but am totally rubbish at making stuff up” ... I wouldn’t know where to start!

So, with that cleared up ... on to my progress up date...

Yesterday afternoon when I was just on my way out to the gym (I was going with the full intention of venting some of my frustrations from the last couple of day’s on-line dating escapades) when I received a text from one of the guys who didn’t call yesterday...

“Hi – Sorry didn’t get around to ringing you yesterday [Are you REALLY?  Well that’s something I suppose!] but will do today at some point [Oh will you now!?]– later if ok with you?! [No it bloody well isn’t ‘ok’] Hope you had a great day yesterday [Yeah, I did thank you very much - good job I didn’t wait around for you to call isn’t it!] & I’m looking forward to chatting with you & learning more about you later [err yeah, good luck with that one!].  Take care J Simon x”

My reply, “Busy.  Sorry.” 

You’d think that if someone sent you such a curt text, they’d get the message ... apparently not.  When I came out of the gym, there was a text waiting:

“OK well enjoy yourself what ever your doing ! What about tomorrow evening ?”

Incredible!  I didn’t reply.  Then when I got home, I logged on to the dating website and he must have noticed I was logged on because 2 minutes later I got a text from him saying:

“Hi your showing as online – are you busy now?”

Two words sprang to mind but as I try and keep my blog as pleasant and as profanity free as possible, I won’t print them!  (By the way, my typing isn’t worse than usual - please remember that when I’m printing their texts I copy them exactly as they’ve written them.  For emails, I cut and paste them exactly as I receive them ... no doctoring here ... I don’t flamin’ need to!). 

You may think I’m being harsh here, but we’d arranged a time to speak, I made sure I was available at that time and he couldn’t even be bothered to let me know that he wasn’t going to call.  Call me old fashioned, but I like a man who does what he says he’s going to do and if he can’t at least call you when he says he’s going to on your first conversation, what hope would you have if you were in a relationship with him?  You can just hear it, “Sorry I didn’t turn up for our wedding ... you know what I’m like!”  (Bit of an extreme example, but you get the idea!)

I checked my new mails from prospective suitors (I love that term don’t you?  Suitors ... I’ve been watching old Bette Davis films over the last few days and it’s full of quaint terms we don’t use anymore.  BTW, I know I’m digressing, but those films are amazing!  I’ve never seen too many of her movies before – apart from ‘Now, Voyager’, which is in my all time favourite Top 10, but I bought a box set of hers before Christmas and just started watching them ... they’re fabulous!) and low and behold, there was a mail from ‘Preston Man’ (I told you I didn’t think I’d heard the last from him) saying:

“Hi Jx

Just checking that you got the text that I sent you yesterday.  Well?  Am I forgiven?

All my love” 

(DELETE and BLACKLIST)

Then about 8.00 pm, he phoned me!  I didn’t take the call, obviously and luckily he didn’t leave a message.  Geeez, these guys have more front than Blackpool!  I’m sure I still haven’t heard the last from him, his ego won’t let it go and he’ll keep texting for at least a week, going off his previous form.  I guess it does prove the “treat em mean, keep em keen” theory though ladies!

I also got a mail from another charmer...

“Hey you sound like an interesting lady! Looking very red (lobsterish) [Lobersterish! OMG ... what’s wrong with these people! ... Way to go a**hole!] in your photo!! you can't have been in this country when that was taken [another ‘no sh*t Sherlock’ moment]!Anyway if you fancy a chat sometime then let me know [not in this or any other lifetime]...Andy”

Well, you know I usually just DELETE the email and sometimes BLACKLIST (so they can’t contact me again) these kinda people without replying, but this time, I couldn’t resist replying (I’ve gotta be honest, I was quite angry – it must all be getting to me a bit more than I care to admit!)...

“Lobsterish! Are you for real? Good luck with meeting someone with flattery like that.”

I did want to say much more and call him a couple of choice names (cos I’ve got some real humdingers that would suit him down to the ground) but I resisted ... I just sent the mail and immediately blacklisted him so he couldn’t reply ... is that being a coward?  Don’t care, it made me feel better and let’s face it folks, I could do with feeling a bit better about something after the last few days of this nonsense! 

Next I opened a mail from another guy with no picture ... I’ve told you already that I don’t bother with those (usually married) guys ... here’s his email:

“How long have you been single?”

What the hell kind of a way is that to introduce yourself?  (DELETE and BLACKLIST!)

And from another:

“Wanna chat” (DELETE)

*Sigh and huge shrug of shoulders*

So, that's the full update on the on-line dating stuff.  As I say, I'll try and keep it up for a little while longer (for your benefit if for nothing else!), but it really is wearing thin again now! I mentioned yesterday that I was going to look into Dinner Dating clubs ... I still intend to do that, but my lovely ‘Champagne Saturday’ accomplice, Justine, messaged me to see if I fancy Speed Dating. Her exact words were, “If nothing else it is likely to be a good story for the blog!”  Well of course I fancy speed dating!  Bring it on!  And as she quite rightly says, it’s bound to keep you guys amused.  So, I’ll let you know what happens with that one.

Well, lovelies, that’s it for now.  Got some business to do, then off to the gym (aren’t I being good!).  Will catch up with you again soon, until then, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Quick Dating Update

Well lovelies, this is a really quick update (busy day ahead ... my fabulous dad is on his way and we’re going out for lunch, I’ve got to go to the gym and may even go to the cinema later if I’ve got time).  Anyway, I said I’d let you know what happened with the two phone calls I was supposed to be having with men who’d emailed me on the dating site ... well, nothing, nadda, not a bloody thing happened ... neither of them called or even texted to say that they weren’t going to!  Now, what do you think about that then?  I think it’s just downright rude ... some people just have no manners! 

“NEXT”! (That’s my new war cry!)

Good job I have a sense of humour and don’t take it seriously ... could you imagine if I did?  It could really knock a girl’s confidence!  I think I’m starting to see a really good business opportunity here though.  There must be other people like me experiencing this rubbish ... I’m surely not the only one and there must be a better way of doing things ... I’m gonna give it some thought.

So, what’s next?  I’ve tried on-line dating (although I’m a bit bummed as I thought my membership ran out at the end of the month, so I rang them yesterday to confirm.  However, it turns out that because I didn’t let them know that I wanted to cancel in December, I’ve been automatically signed up for another 6 months!);  I’ve tried a really rubbish (but massively expensive) dating agency, with even worse results, so the next I think I’m gonna try one of those dinner dating clubs.  Don't know much about them actually but at least it sounds like I’ll get fed even if I don’t meet the man of my dreams ... and not having to cook a couple of nights a week has gotta be a bonus!

Hmmmmmm I’m going to look into that and let you know.  As for ‘Mr Text Man’, well he seems to have got the message and I haven’t heard from him since yesterday morning.  I also haven’t heard anything again from ‘Preston Man’ although I really don’t think I’ve heard the last from him yet.  Ho hum.  It really is a good job I look on the positive side of life!!!!

Anyway, must rush, so until next time my lovely readers, enjoy your Sunday and be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Dating Update

Well lovelies, you are gonna LOVE this one.  For those of you who have been reading my blog from the beginning of my dating escapades, you’ll probably remember ‘Preston Man’.  I think that’s what I called him ... he was the guy who I got on with when we spoke, then he made up all kinds of excuses for not meeting me, including having to go to Italy to see his dreadfully ill uncle (a sick relative seems to be a common excuse for not meeting with someone).  If you remember, after that initial palaver (ooooo I love that word ... must use it more!) he ended up contacting me months later saying that he was sorry but he had stuff to sort out with his ex and he didn’t know whether they were going to try and work it out (obviously he was still seeing her when he joined the dating site and contacted me), cut a long story short, they hadn’t sorted it out and he was back on the market (not that he should have ever been ‘on’ the market in the first place if he was still with his girlfriend!)

Anyway, after a long consultation with Mehreen, we agreed that I should give him the benefit of the doubt and give him another go ... after all, I didn’t have anything to lose.  Well, turns out he messed me around all over again regarding when and where we were going to meet (if you remember, he wanted me to drive an hour to meet him, when I said, "No, but I don’t mind meeting somewhere else in between where we both live", he asked me to drive to his home town!  Bloody cheek!  After all that previous messing around, I’d have expected him to be going out of his way to put things right ... so damn arrogant ... one thing I detest, arrogance!). This to-ing and fro-ing with texts went on over an entire weekend.  Why he couldn’t pick the bloody phone up, I’ve no idea ... and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna.  Anyway, I didn’t reply to that last mail (I’d actually got really bored with the whole idea ... it was becoming far too much like hard work) and during the next week was totally bombarded with mails, texts and voicemails from him, to which I didn’t reply and he finally got the message.

Well, yesterday, I was having a quick look at my profile activity on the dating site and low and behold, there he was ... he’d been viewing my profile!  This morning, while I was wading my way through the 15 texts I’d got during last night and this morning from the guy I told you about yesterday (I ended up putting my phone on silent otherwise I wouldn’t have had a wink of sleep!) ... this text popped up:

“Good morning Jx, I hope you are well.  I saw you on *the dating site* last night, I was in a relationship for a while [yeah, while you were talking to me!], can’t believe it’s a year nearly since we chatted.  I think it was a shame we didn’t meet, my fault completely [no shit Sherlock!] but I know we got on when we spoke.  Hope you give me another chance [how many chances do these people expect? ... Blimey he thinks a lot of himself ... either that or he must think I’m desperate!] if not good luck, you are a lovely person and if we did meet I would come near your end [that’s big of him] and even if it’s just for a coffee and a chat to see if I can redeem myself? [Not a bloody chance mate ... you’ve well and truly blown it!] X”

He then sent another text containing a picture of himself!  Unbelievable!

Awwwwww you’ve gotta love it, ain’t ya? ... It’s so entertaining if nothing else!  I’ve got a couple of phone calls booked in for later today, so I may update again later if I’ve got time.  Otherwise, I’ll pick up the story again in the morning ... Until then, have a wonderful Saturday lovelies and be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Internet Dating Update & Films

Hello lovelies, sorry for no post yesterday ... it’s been all go here!

So, firstly (cos this is the stuff I know you really love) I need to update you on the Internet dating stuff.  Well, I’ve waded through countless views/winks and emails and have narrowed it down to a few.  I’ve spoken to one and have arranged times to speak to 3 others over the weekend (so not a bad result really!)  However, I do have to tell you about the one I’ve spoken to. 

His profile looks really good, he’s tall, good looking, has his own businesses (plural) ... almost perfect!  We swapped numbers and chatted last night at 6.00 pm for about 15 minutes and got on like a house of fire.  He was funny, articulate and we have lots of the same interests.  “Great!” thinks me ... “Yippeeeee a bloke who actually sounds normal, is funny and has a bit about him”.  Seems he thought the same, as I got this text off him pretty much as soon as we got off the phone:

“I can’t believe it.  You tick so many of my boxes”. 

 “Awww that’s nice” thinks me, although I didn’t say it ... then I got,

“I think you’re amazing. Do you like to Ski?”

“Never done it, but I’ll try anything”

“Good ... keep these dates free .... You’re coming skiing with me”

“Oh I am, am I?” thinks me ... I didn’t reply.  I then got about 6 miscellaneous texts from him before the last one saying:

“Something a little strange going on in that you are on my mind pretty much constantly – slightly worrying but nice! X”

I didn’t reply.  I then got this...

“If I’m annoying you by texting, please let me know. X”

I didn’t reply.  Got another 8 texts then:

“I have always gone by a sixth sense in business which has served me well but it seems to have moved over to my personal life now where you are concerned. X”

What do you say to that?  I’d only spoken to the guy for 15 minutes ... I heard Iron Maiden’s ‘Run to the Hills’ playing in my head, but decided to reply with a smiley face and 'x' ... well I thought I’d better send something!

Him: “Sorry, that was a little heavy, just always say what I feel”

I then got about another 5 ‘nothing’ texts (I started to cringe every time I heard my phone ping) and at 11.30 pm, I couldn’t bear it anymore and sent him a quick message saying I was tired and going to bed.

7.00 am this morning, I was rudely awoken by, yes you guessed it, a text saying, “I woke up smiling thinking of you x”!  I suppose it’s my fault, I should have turned my phone off ... but really? 7.00 am????? Especially when you’re not working!  Anyway ... he’s pretty much gone on in the same way for the whole of the last 24 hours ... as I’ve been writing this, I’ve had another 3 from him.  So far, I've had just under 50 texts from him ... the last one (received right now ... "Can't stop looking at your picture"!)

OMG ... there should be a law against this stuff ... Oh yeah, there is ... it’s called STALKING!  I’m sure he’ll get tired of the lack of response soon.   I’ll let you know how I get on when I speak to the others.  Fingers crossed that at least one of them is normal!

So, what else have I been up to?  Well, I went to the cinema yesterday and watched a film called ‘Haywire’ ... it was rubbish.  It was spy film and I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t really follow what was going on ... I kinda missed bits cos it was boring and my mind was wandering (could  be a blonde thing ... could be just shear boredom!).  All I can remember is the amount of totally unrealistic fight scenes there were in it.  Shockingly bad.  I had thought that at least I’d be able to ogle Antonio Banderas, but he had a full on, long beard ... not attractive, even on him!

A 'beardy' Antonio Banderas'

Today, I went to see ‘Underworld: Awakening’ (and no, I don’t mean the factory on Coronation Street!), the fantastic sequel to all the other Underworld films with Kate Beckinsale as a major Vampire!  I absolutely love all the previous films and this is no exception.  It was fantastic.  I LOVE anything vampire (and werewolf) especially when it’s full on Vampire v Werewolf (not like Twilight – I love those films too, but I love the hardcore Vamp/Wolf stuff more!).  There were lots of blood and guts and (this time) fantastic fight scenes.  Totally loved it.  You know you’ve really enjoyed a film when time goes by ridiculously quickly and you feel like you’ve only just walked in when the end titles go up!  Oh and there was some pretty damn good eye candy in there for the ladies too, in the form of Theo James (picky below) ... ooooooh he made a lovely vampire!

Theo James ... Yum!

Anyway, that’s all for now folks ... wine is calling.  I hope you all have the most wonderful weekend!  Be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx

Hot On-line Dating Tips for Men

How to attract the ‘right type’ of women...

As you’re aware, I’ve been doing this online dating stuff on and off for a while now without huge success it has to be said.  Well, I’ve obviously been discussing progress with my girlfriends some of whom are currently having a go at on-line dating too or have done it in the past and I decided to do a bit of a survey of what it is they look for and what puts them off when they are looking at on-line profiles and reading emails they receive from prospective dates.  The women I asked are smart, educated ladies who are looking for a certain ‘class’ of gentleman ... they don’t have to be rich, but they do need to at least look like they can string a sentence together and have a bit about them! 

So here’s a summary of my findings ... this is obviously what a woman looks for in a man ... I don’t know any men who are internet dating to ask them their opinion, but I’m guessing some of it would be the same ... BIG caveat here ... these are tips for if you’re serious about meeting the right woman ... not if you’re a serial dater or just looking for a quick fling ... I guess anything goes then!

What Not To Do!

Your Profile:

·         Don’t lie!  If you’re serious about meeting someone, do you think they’ll want someone who lies?  And do you really think that you can lie and they’ll over look it because as soon as they meet you they’ll fall head over heels with you and the fact that you lied won’t matter?  Think again.  Lies were at the top of my ladies list of what they hate the most.

·         Use proper punctuation eg start your sentences with a capital and if you use the word ‘I’ it should always be a capital (this is junior school stuff folks, you were taught this when you were 6 ... you aren’t going to attract a decent woman if you can’t at least write a decent sentence!)

·         Spell check everything – nothing says ‘uneducated’ in a profile more than typos

·         Have something interesting/funny to say

·         Don’t include pictures ...

o   Where you’ve got a pint or a bottle in your hand ... makes the woman think you’re a p***head

o   Where you’ve chopped a woman out of the picture and you can still see their dress/hand round your waist etc ... some of my ladies actually said there seemed to be something a bit sinister about it ... I think they’ve seen too many ‘revenge’ films where the scorned partner has scratched out the face of their ex in every picture!

o   That are more than a couple of years old ... so annoying to get a picture from someone and you meet them and the picture is at least 10 years old - I had that ... I walked passed someone I was supposed to be meeting because in his picture he was 10 years younger with black hair ... 10 years on he was bald on top with grey round the sides! (Back to point 1 – Don’t Lie!)

o   Where you’re standing in front of a flash car that isn’t yours (I've had that too) ... that’s misleading and just as bad as lying ... however, if it is your car, definitely include it!

·         Don’t write anything negative about yourself eg “I can’t exercise at the moment due to an on-going illness”, “I don't have much success with women, but now feel strong enough to start to live again!” (Oh kill me now!!!!  These are actual examples!) When you read stuff like that ... you immediately think 'BLACKLIST' them quick!

Emails:

·         Don’t just send a one word email ... how do you expect the woman to respond?

·         Again, spell check, spell check, spell check.  Write the email in Word if your spelling is a bit dodgy so that you can spell check it easily and then copy and paste it into the email if that makes it easier for you!

·         Try not to use text speak ... it makes the reader think that you’re illiterate (the odd lol or lmao is fine, but you’re not sending a text, you’re sending an email!!!  There’s a world of difference. 

·         Keep a list of who you’ve emailed and what you’ve said to them.  There’s nothing more annoying than getting exactly the same email, 3/6 months apart eg ... “I’m new here, treat me gently” (that’s another actual example!) ... the woman will instantly know that you send that same email out to every woman you contact and that you can't remember sending her something previously.  Both are hugely off putting!

·         Don’t be rude (remember the guy who said he didn’t believe my age matched my picture and wanted more evidence!)

·         Watch what you say ... it’s easy to interpret a quirky sense of humour for rudeness as sarcasm does not translate well when written down, especially when you don’t know the other person.

·         If a woman doesn’t respond to your email, don’t send her another snotty, angry one ... she doesn’t owe you anything and it’ll just make her think that she had a lucky escape.  Just shrug and move on ... Plenty more fish an’ all that!

So now you know what NOT to do ... Here’s...

What to Do!

1.   Tell the truth

2.   Always include at least one recent a picture ... if that’s not possible because of your job, say so as early as possible on your profile (if you don’t have a picture, a woman will automatically think you’re married).

3.   If your written English isn’t good, get someone else to read through your profile for you before you post it.  That’s preferable, although not always possible, for emails too.

4.   As well as completing all the required boxes eg height, hair colour, music etc etc, always write a profile summary (if the site has the space for one) ... otherwise you look like you can’t be bothered or worse, that you’re arrogant and think you don’t need to

5.   If you’re going to send an email, make sure that you’ve read the lady’s profile first ... there’s nothing worse than getting a mail saying, “So what do you do then?” when it’s on the first line of their profile!

6.   Always start an email with a compliment (women love that ... and make sure it’s not a seedy one ... remember the guy who sent me an email saying, “34D?” ... nothing else, just that!  Ewwwwwwww creepy bugger!)

7.   Mention something that shows that you’ve read their profile eg “I loved your profile especially ....”

8.   Always end any emails with a question ... that way you give the lady something to reply to (TOP TIP!)

Well, I hope that’s helpful ... (God I really should write a book about this stuff!) as I said, I have used real examples and given real women’s opinions. These small things really would make a big difference in getting your profile read and emails answered.  Women are often bombared by mails/winks so, much like an employer shifting through CVs during a recession, they can afford to be choosy and will select/de-select you if it's clear that you haven't made an effort.  Just doing these small things will make a big difference and help you to stand out from everyone else - especially if it's a woman you're really interested in.  Again, if you have a question about this or anything else, either leave me a comment below or email me at handbag-gladrag@hotmail.co.uk and I’ll be happy to help (if I can!). 

Oh, and I should tell you where I’m up to with this dating stuff ... well, I’ve since I kept my profile open most of yesterday while I was writing and working and I had around 200 views, about 30 winks and another 10 or so messages (and they seem to mostly be from 20 somethings this time!  Well that’s progress on the 60/70 year olds from the day before!) ... I haven’t had time to look at them properly yet, but I will!  Oh ... nearly forgot ... I have had a photo sent to me by a pro tennis instructor!!!!  Stay tuned lovelies ... more tomorrow.  Until then, as always, be fabulous!

Lots of love

Jx