How to attract the ‘right type’ of women...
As you’re aware, I’ve been doing this online dating stuff on and off for a while now without huge success it has to be said. Well, I’ve obviously been discussing progress with my girlfriends some of whom are currently having a go at on-line dating too or have done it in the past and I decided to do a bit of a survey of what it is they look for and what puts them off when they are looking at on-line profiles and reading emails they receive from prospective dates. The women I asked are smart, educated ladies who are looking for a certain ‘class’ of gentleman ... they don’t have to be rich, but they do need to at least look like they can string a sentence together and have a bit about them!
So here’s a summary of my findings ... this is obviously what a woman looks for in a man ... I don’t know any men who are internet dating to ask them their opinion, but I’m guessing some of it would be the same ... BIG caveat here ... these are tips for if you’re serious about meeting the right woman ... not if you’re a serial dater or just looking for a quick fling ... I guess anything goes then!
What Not To Do!
Your Profile:
· Don’t lie! If you’re serious about meeting someone, do you think they’ll want someone who lies? And do you really think that you can lie and they’ll over look it because as soon as they meet you they’ll fall head over heels with you and the fact that you lied won’t matter? Think again. Lies were at the top of my ladies list of what they hate the most.
· Use proper punctuation eg start your sentences with a capital and if you use the word ‘I’ it should always be a capital (this is junior school stuff folks, you were taught this when you were 6 ... you aren’t going to attract a decent woman if you can’t at least write a decent sentence!)
· Spell check everything – nothing says ‘uneducated’ in a profile more than typos
· Have something interesting/funny to say
· Don’t include pictures ...
o Where you’ve got a pint or a bottle in your hand ... makes the woman think you’re a p***head
o Where you’ve chopped a woman out of the picture and you can still see their dress/hand round your waist etc ... some of my ladies actually said there seemed to be something a bit sinister about it ... I think they’ve seen too many ‘revenge’ films where the scorned partner has scratched out the face of their ex in every picture!
o That are more than a couple of years old ... so annoying to get a picture from someone and you meet them and the picture is at least 10 years old - I had that ... I walked passed someone I was supposed to be meeting because in his picture he was 10 years younger with black hair ... 10 years on he was bald on top with grey round the sides! (Back to point 1 – Don’t Lie!)
o Where you’re standing in front of a flash car that isn’t yours (I've had that too) ... that’s misleading and just as bad as lying ... however, if it is your car, definitely include it!
· Don’t write anything negative about yourself eg “I can’t exercise at the moment due to an on-going illness”, “I don't have much success with women, but now feel strong enough to start to live again!” (Oh kill me now!!!! These are actual examples!) When you read stuff like that ... you immediately think 'BLACKLIST' them quick!
Emails:
· Don’t just send a one word email ... how do you expect the woman to respond?
· Again, spell check, spell check, spell check. Write the email in Word if your spelling is a bit dodgy so that you can spell check it easily and then copy and paste it into the email if that makes it easier for you!
· Try not to use text speak ... it makes the reader think that you’re illiterate (the odd lol or lmao is fine, but you’re not sending a text, you’re sending an email!!! There’s a world of difference.
· Keep a list of who you’ve emailed and what you’ve said to them. There’s nothing more annoying than getting exactly the same email, 3/6 months apart eg ... “I’m new here, treat me gently” (that’s another actual example!) ... the woman will instantly know that you send that same email out to every woman you contact and that you can't remember sending her something previously. Both are hugely off putting!
· Don’t be rude (remember the guy who said he didn’t believe my age matched my picture and wanted more evidence!)
· Watch what you say ... it’s easy to interpret a quirky sense of humour for rudeness as sarcasm does not translate well when written down, especially when you don’t know the other person.
· If a woman doesn’t respond to your email, don’t send her another snotty, angry one ... she doesn’t owe you anything and it’ll just make her think that she had a lucky escape. Just shrug and move on ... Plenty more fish an’ all that!
So now you know what NOT to do ... Here’s...
What to Do!
1. Tell the truth
2. Always include at least one recent a picture ... if that’s not possible because of your job, say so as early as possible on your profile (if you don’t have a picture, a woman will automatically think you’re married).
3. If your written English isn’t good, get someone else to read through your profile for you before you post it. That’s preferable, although not always possible, for emails too.
4. As well as completing all the required boxes eg height, hair colour, music etc etc, always write a profile summary (if the site has the space for one) ... otherwise you look like you can’t be bothered or worse, that you’re arrogant and think you don’t need to
5. If you’re going to send an email, make sure that you’ve read the lady’s profile first ... there’s nothing worse than getting a mail saying, “So what do you do then?” when it’s on the first line of their profile!
6. Always start an email with a compliment (women love that ... and make sure it’s not a seedy one ... remember the guy who sent me an email saying, “34D?” ... nothing else, just that! Ewwwwwwww creepy bugger!)
7. Mention something that shows that you’ve read their profile eg “I loved your profile especially ....”
8. Always end any emails with a question ... that way you give the lady something to reply to (TOP TIP!)
Well, I hope that’s helpful ... (God I really should write a book about this stuff!) as I said, I have used real examples and given real women’s opinions. These small things really would make a big difference in getting your profile read and emails answered. Women are often bombared by mails/winks so, much like an employer shifting through CVs during a recession, they can afford to be choosy and will select/de-select you if it's clear that you haven't made an effort. Just doing these small things will make a big difference and help you to stand out from everyone else - especially if it's a woman you're really interested in. Again, if you have a question about this or anything else, either leave me a comment below or email me at handbag-gladrag@hotmail.co.uk and I’ll be happy to help (if I can!).
Oh, and I should tell you where I’m up to with this dating stuff ... well, I’ve since I kept my profile open most of yesterday while I was writing and working and I had around 200 views, about 30 winks and another 10 or so messages (and they seem to mostly be from 20 somethings this time! Well that’s progress on the 60/70 year olds from the day before!) ... I haven’t had time to look at them properly yet, but I will! Oh ... nearly forgot ... I have had a photo sent to me by a pro tennis instructor!!!! Stay tuned lovelies ... more tomorrow. Until then, as always, be fabulous!
Lots of love
Jx
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